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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349712">Take Me As I Am</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mendeshoney/pseuds/mendeshoney'>mendeshoney</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shawn Mendes (Musician)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Teachers, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:40:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>43,084</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349712</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mendeshoney/pseuds/mendeshoney</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After heartbreak and a downward spiral, Shawn finds himself volunteering at Littlewood Academy to fulfill his court ordered community service requirements. There he meets Quinn Agbayani, a third grade teacher who Shawn can’t seem to figure out, but is teaching him everything he’s never realized he didn’t know.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shawn Mendes/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A downward spiral. </p><p>A cataclysmic heartbreak. </p><p>Devastation for lovers everywhere.</p><p>The fall of pop’s top 40 prince. </p><p>The headlines won’t stop talking about it and Shawn can’t avoid it no matter how hard he tried to hole up in his apartment and shut the world out. He’s stories above the ground and yet he’s not high enough to escape.</p><p>His phone rings and rings and rings and he ignores it. His friends stop by and knock and ring his doorbell until they give up and leave. His mom comes by to help clean up his mess and asks if he wants to come home. </p><p>He can’t. </p><p>He doesn’t know home without <b>her.</b></p><p>-</p><p>Two months ago should have been the start of the rest of his life. It should have been the one and only wedding he’d ever need, flowing into a celebration he’d always wanted, a celebration he wanted <em>her</em> to have. One that would send them to their honeymoon in Santorini and then into the rest of their lives together.</p><p>Everything was perfect. Lined up into place and he even had been looking at houses for them to move into instead of his Toronto high rise. Little three bedroom homes with enough backyard for a dog, kids, and a playground. It wasn’t the white picket fence dream, but it was enough.</p><p>Or so he thought.</p><p>He was left at the altar, in front of his family and friends, and his bride had run away with an old childhood flame that Shawn originally never thought anything of. </p><p>And then came the photos. The videos. The text messages. Everything was exposed and suddenly Shawn felt more seen than he ever had in his life. </p><p>Because of <b>her</b>.</p><p>Maddie.</p><p>They’d been together for five years. Dating for four, engaged for one, and Shawn thought the stories of soulmates had finally come true.</p><p>But then Lucas came home. He was Maddie’s childhood friend that had resurfaced suddenly right before Shawn proposed, and he didn’t think anything of it because nothing had changed. Maddie hadn’t changed, her routines and her behavior were the same, and Lucas and Shawn had even become friends.</p><p>Except instead of Maddie’s weekly pilates and barre classes, she was going out with Lucas. On the nights Shawn was late in the studio and Maddie said she was going to go out with friends, she was at Lucas’ apartment. When Maddie was sick and Shawn was out of town, she wasn’t sleeping at Shawn’s apartment, she was sleeping in Lucas’ arms.</p><p>And somehow, Shawn had missed it all. Had been oblivious to how much she was betraying him, hadn’t realized Maddie had been slipping through his fingers until he was left alone at the altar with Maddie’s parents and his parents staring at him in pity. </p><p>Aaliyah had stomped around to all of Maddie’s friends, demanding an answer and her boyfriend had to hold her back before she beat the maid of honor with her bouquet. </p><p>Shawn felt like he was left with nothing. No love, no future, nothing.</p><p>He remembers his dad and mom ushering him into a limo to bring him back to the hotel he was staying at. He sat on the bed for what felt like hours as everyone moved around him, packing his things, Andrew on the phone to get him a flight back to Toronto, his sister cursing Maddie and swearing up and down she’ll kill her when she sees her next. </p><p>All he felt was numbness.</p><p>He’s felt numb since.</p><p>-</p><p>Shawn burrows deep into his blankets and squeezes his eyes, trying to not fall deeper into the rabbit hole of his misery. </p><p>“Shawn.” Andrew chides. “You have to do this.”</p><p>“No I don’t.”</p><p>“Yes, you actually do. The judge said so.”</p><p>Shawn groaned, burrowing deeper. </p><p>“Shawn.” Andrew says. “You got drunk, caused a fight at a club, broke someone’s nose, and then drove your car, while drunk, into a tree. Either you do 1,000 hours of community service or you get ten days in jail.”</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>“Andrew, I-”</p><p>“Stop with the excuses, Shawn.” Shawn removes the blanket from his face and stares at Andrew. He’s <em>never</em> spoken to Shawn like that before. They’ve been working together since Shawn was 16 and in ten years he’s never been firm with him like this. “Get up, shower, get dressed like a human being, and we’re leaving. You’ve got ten minutes. If you’re not ready in ten minutes I will drag you downstairs myself.”</p><p>-</p><p>It’s not until they’re on the road that Shawn realizes he has no idea where he’s going or what his community service even is. </p><p>That is, until they pull up on the building. The sign says “Littlewood Academy” in off-white letters, a sign that probably hasn’t been replaced in decades. It’s a small brick building and from what Shawn can tell, one of the more struggling schools. He can spot a field with brown grass and a rusted playground behind the building, along with an empty sandbox.</p><p>It’s not until Shawn sees what’s below the name of the school on the sign that he understands why he’s here.</p><p>“Music lessons? Andrew come on!”</p><p>“I don’t want to fucking hear it dude.” Andrew says. “You did this to yourself and this was the only place that would even take you, so starting next week you’re stuck here for forty two days.”</p><p>Shawn wants to fight back, but the thing he’s stuck on is “What do you mean they’re the only ones who would take me?”</p><p>Andrew sighs, giving Shawn that same pity look everyone else did when Maddie left. “Not many community service organizations are willing to work with a pop star falling out of glory. It’s bad PR and while it’s you technically doing a good thing, it’s not worth the fall out.” </p><p>Shawn doesn’t respond. It’s true. His downward spiral has been publicized and blown out of proportion and there wasn’t much he could do to refute it. He was a mess, that no one could deny, and the more he wallowed the worse it got.</p><p>He’s quiet when he follows Andrew into the school, and takes note of the old tiles and dark green lockers that come up to his waist along the wall.</p><p>There’s a giant glass window at the end of the hallway, where then it branches out into two different halls, one on the left and one on the right. There’s handmade posters on each side of him along the walls that talk about being excited for learning, about being a good student and a good friend, and then there’s what looks like a smattering of finger paintings all around.</p><p>There’s an older lady behind the front desk, and a girl around Shawn’s age standing in front of it. She’s leaning on the counter of the desk, scribbling something on a clipboard as Shawn and Andrew enter the front office. </p><p>“Hi, we’re-”</p><p>“Shawn Mendes!” The older woman exclaims, standing upright and extending her hand over the counter. Shawn shakes it politely.</p><p>“Nice to meet you. Thank you for-”</p><p>“Oh no, thank <em>you</em>!” She says. Her bright green eyes are a stark contrast to her bronze skin, hair pinned back into a ponytail. For a dilapidated school, she looks professional and almost out of place. “My name’s Melodie Goldman. I’m the principal here at Littlewood.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you Ms. Goldman.” Shawn says, smiling. He spots a mirror along the wall with the words <em>“Do you look ready for school?”</em> above them behind Mrs. Goldman and takes a look at his reflection. He’s pale, eyes sunken in, and curly hair a disheveled mess around his forehead and ears. His light grey sweater is the only clean one Andrew could find, and his blue jeans are faded and worn, </p><p>He does not look ready to be around any child from eight in the morning to two in the afternoon everyday for the next forty two days.</p><p>In the mirror, Shawn catches the reflection of the girl who was talking to Mrs. Goldman when they came in, and he turns to her to offer a small smile. She’s shorter than Shawn, probably around five foot three, but her long brown curly hair reaches just above her waist. Friendly brown eyes match his smile. “Hi.”</p><p>The white of her sweater stands out against the bronze of her skin, and brings out her deep brown eyes that seem to look right through him.</p><p>“This is Quinn Agbayani, one of our best teachers. She’ll be your supervisor and will be showing you around the school to the classes you’ll be going to.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you.” Shawn says, holding his hand out. She shakes it, but only for a second before dropping her hand back to her side. </p><p>“Quinn’s about your age, right honey?” Mrs. Goldman says, looking over at her. “I’m sure you two kids will get along just fine!</p><p>Quinn purses her lips at Mrs.Goldman, then turns to Shawn, plastering on a bright smile. “Right this way, Mr. Mendes.” She says, turning on her heels down a hallway. </p><p>Shawn almost trips over his own feet trying to follow her as she points to each classroom door. He should be paying attention, but he isn’t. </p><p>“You don’t have to call me Mr. Mendes.” He says. “You can call me Shawn.”</p><p>“Well <em>Shawn</em>,” Quinn quips, “I would, but our kids will call you whatever name they hear, so it’s best we stick with Mr. Mendes for now. This is my classroom,” she says. Shawn takes a deep breath, heart beating in anticipation, but it slows when he finds it empty. </p><p>It’s well decorated, and nothing like he was expecting. The classroom seems almost out of place at this school. There are a lot of plants, different rugs layered on the floor, and even floor pillows scattered around. A large woven basket sits in an empty corner full of what looks like yoga mats, and next to it is three coat racks, covered in various kinds of jackets. </p><p>There’s five clusters of four desks in a square, and each desk has a book on top, along with a plastic SpaceMaker and what looks to be like a cardboard sphere. “My kids are in the gym right now for recess, so they’ll be back in a little bit. We’re covering geography right now, so excuse the mess.” </p><p>If that’s a messy classroom, Shawn wonders what the other ones look like.</p><p>Quinn moves right along, guiding him to the next door. This classroom looks a lot like the ones he was used to, standard posters and things on the walls, most of the school supplies scattered on desks. “This is Mrs. Dobson’s class. She just brought her kids to the library.”</p><p>“How many classes am I teaching?” Shawn asks.</p><p>Quinn stops, turning and arching her brow at him. “You don’t know?” When Shawn shakes his head, she sighs. “You’re teaching five classes right now. Mine, which are the third graders, Mrs. Dobson’s, also third grade, Mr. Pell’s, fourth grade, Ms. Rosa’s, fourth grade, and Mr. Abe’s, which is fifth grade.” </p><p>“How…like, how old is that?”</p><p>“They’re eight, nine, and ten year olds.” Quinn says, then folds her arms across her chest. “How much do you even know about what you’re doing?”</p><p>“Nothing, if I’m honest.” Shawn says.</p><p>At that, she rolls her eyes and heads back the way they came. “Typical.” She says.</p><p>Shawn narrows his eyes. “Excuse me?”</p><p>He follows her into her classroom, where she grabs a binder from her desk drawer and hands it to Shawn. “Here’s your curriculum. Mrs. Goldman had me whip it up just in case. It’s got a weekly plan, as well as attendance sheets, a schedule of which class gets taught when, and a map of the school, all indicated by the dividers.”</p><p>“Thank you.” He says, genuinely, because he wouldn’t have been able to do any of that on his own, but Quinn brushes it off.</p><p>“Each day you’re supposed to teach, you’ll come to our classes and grab our students when it’s time. There’s about twenty in each class, which is more than we’re used to at the minute, so you’ll have to take attendance just to keep track. You’ll lead them to the music room, which is right next to the library, and teach them there for an hour. After the hour is up, we come to the music room, grab our students, and then bring them back. And it rotates. Your classes are once a day, every Tuesday and Thursday.”</p><p>“Which means…I’ll be teaching five classes on both days?”</p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p>“What about the sixth hour?” He asks. </p><p>Quinn blinks. “What?”</p><p>“The sixth hour? Aren’t they here from eight to two?”</p><p>“That’s lunch.” Quinn says, flipping through the pages to indicate his daily schedule. There’s a block from eleven to noon that says ‘LUNCH/LUNCH MONITOR’ and is highlighted in blue. “You have half an hour to eat your lunch and then the next half hour is monitoring the cafeteria. The kids get a whole hour and we usually break it up and take turns watching them.”</p><p>“They’re old enough to eat on their own, aren’t they?”</p><p>Quinn narrows her eyes at him. “No, they aren’t.”</p><p>“But I thought they were eight, nine, and ten?”</p><p>“The kids you’re teaching are. There are first and second graders here as well. Plus, if that’s not enough time to eat, usually you can ask someone else to cover you while you finish up.” She pauses, staring at Shawn in concern. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”</p><p>Shawn shakes his head. He feels a little confused and a lot overwhelmed. “I just…I haven’t done this before.”</p><p>She scoffs. “What? Schedules?” </p><p>“Teaching.” He says. “I’ve never taught a music class, or taught anyone else anything about music. Ever. Especially not kids this young.”</p><p>Quinn frowns. “Mr. Mendes, when’s the last time you’ve interacted with kids? In a non-media-influenced and non-concert setting?” Shawn stares at her with wide eyes and Quinn inhales deeply through her nose. “Alright. Never mind. Look. You’re not supposed to start till next week, but how about tomorrow you come in and shadow me for a day? Just to see what the kids are like? You can start out small and then I can help you out.”</p><p>Shawn nods. “I think that sounds good.”</p><p>Quinn nods in return. “Okay, good. Think you can make it the rest of the tour without vomiting?”</p><p>“I think so.”</p><p>“Then follow me, Mr. Mendes.”</p><p>-</p><p>Shawn’s in the car with Andrew on the way to meet with Shawn’s lawyers. He’s deep into Quinn’s binder when Andrew taps him on the shoulder.  “How’d it go with Ms. Agbayani?” </p><p>Shawn shrugs, turning back to the binder. “It went well. Don’t think she likes me very much, but I think it was okay.”</p><p>“Do you think you’re going to survive there, or should I ask Dave and Bradley for another community service arrangement?”</p><p>“No.” Shawn shakes his head, looking through Quinn’s notes. “I think I’ll be okay.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shawn feels a little weird walking into a school with a backpack on and his guitar case in his hand. </p><p>It’s not the backpack itself. He uses his backpack every time he travels. It’s just…the setting.</p><p>He’s always imagined his life in an alternate universe as a music major in college, and this is as close as he’s probably going to get to it in real life. </p><p>In his backpack, he’s got his laptop, iPad Pro, Quinn’s handmade binder, along with his wallet, chargers, a notebook, pens and pencils, a protein smoothie and overnight oats for breakfast, and a kombucha and cold wrap he bought from Whole Foods to have for lunch.</p><p>He parked his car in the designated spot Quinn pointed out to him yesterday, and he couldn’t help but feel weird about the parking permit sticker he had to stick to the back window of his Jeep.</p><p>It was all out of his element.</p><p>Following Quinn’s instructions, he walks in through the main entrance and straight to the front office. It’s seven in the morning, so the school is mostly void of kids. Quinn says it’d be better for him to be there early to meet the kids in small doses, instead of just being thrown into the lion’s den.</p><p>He waves good morning to Mrs. Goldman and goes to sign in as a guest, but she stops him.</p><p>“We’re actually going to take your staff picture today Shawn, if that’s okay. We just want to make sure we get you your ID badge sooner rather than later, especially since you’ll be in the building shadowing Quinn anyway.” </p><p>Shawn nods, following Mrs. Goldman to the back office. He’s in a navy blue sweater and black jeans this time, so he figures it’s presentable enough. </p><p>In the back office, there’s a desk in the corner with two monitors set up, and a chair in front of a white wall. Mrs. Goldman grabs a camera from a desk drawer, signaling for Shawn to take a seat. He does, shrugging off his backpack and setting it down in the corner along with his guitar. </p><p>She takes a couple of photos of Shawn smiling, and then signals that he’s good to go.</p><p>“Fabulous. This should be ready for you before the kids get here. I can bring it to you since you’ll be with Quinn all day. Do you remember where Quinn’s classroom is? Would you like me to walk you there?”</p><p>“No, I think I got it, but thank you Mrs. Goldman.” He says. </p><p>He spent most of last night memorizing as much as he could of Quinn’s binder, but mostly the map of the school. It’s bigger than it looks from the outside, and even though his job is sticking to one specific part of the school, he wants to be sure he knows where to go just to be safe. </p><p>He follows the path he took yesterday to Quinn’s classroom, and isn’t surprised to find her already there, sitting at her desk and cutting out what looks like different animals.</p><p>“Good morning.” He says. Quinn looks up and gives him a small smile.</p><p>“Morning Mr. Mendes. You find everything okay?”</p><p>He nods, stepping into the classroom and taking off his shoes. He read a note that Quinn put in her binder about preferring the kids to take off their shoes so they feel more welcome and at home, so he decides to follow suit.</p><p>Quinn is impressed, but doesn’t say anything.</p><p>“I did. Thanks for the binder, by the way. It’s really helpful so far.”</p><p>At that, she does voice her impression. “You actually read it?”</p><p>Shawn raises a brow. “Why wouldn’t I?”</p><p>“What’s on the curriculum today, then?”</p><p>“Well it’s Tuesday, so you’ve got Math in the morning, Science, and then Geography. You’re introducing the new unit - Zoology.” He says. “That’s why you’re cutting out the animals. You’re going over habitats in your science unit today, which ties into your geography unit for this afternoon.” She stares at him blankly, and Shawn stiffens. “What?”</p><p>“I just…nothing.” She surveys his clothes, then smiles. “You look a little too professional to be dealing with kids.”</p><p>He eyes her outfit in turn. She’s got her long curls pulled back into a ponytail, a worn and faded olive green sweater with remnants of paint on the sleeve, and blue jeans. “I look as casual as you do.” He protests.</p><p>“Yes but I don’t have to look at the tag to know that sweater probably costs a hundred dollars. Same thing as those jeans. You might only be teaching music but that doesn’t mean these kids won’t get you dirty somehow.” She gestures her head for him to sit next to her, and that’s when he notices she’s brought in an extra chair for him. </p><p>He takes a seat, putting his guitar and his backpack down. “Do you want some help?”</p><p>Quinn shakes her head, cutting out the last animal before putting the scissors down. “No, I actually wanted to talk to you before the kids start to come in.”</p><p>Shawn feels a ball form in the pit of his stomach. “Okay. What’s going on?”</p><p>She frowns slightly, but not at him, more because he can tell she’s trying to consider her words before she speaks. “I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I didn’t fully understand why you were here. I…researched you a bit.”</p><p>“Oh.” Shawn says. “Find anything interesting?”</p><p>“I knew who you were, obviously.” Quinn says, playing with the hems of her sleeves. “I know some of your music, I just…wasn’t aware of the whole situation. I thought you were just here as a publicity stunt, not because you actually need to do this.”</p><p>“I get it.” Shawn says. “It’s okay.”</p><p>“It’s not, though.” Quinn says. “I get too protective of these kids. I love my job and I love this school and I thought you were here to show face, and I just…went into defensive mode.”</p><p>He’s shocked by her apology - not expecting so much emotion from someone who practically gave him the cold shoulder less than twenty four hours ago. Shawn considers her for a moment, when it clicks. </p><p>“You used to be a student here when you were younger?”</p><p>She’s surprised by his question, but nods. “Yeah. I was. I loved this school. When I got my degree I knew I wanted to come back here.”</p><p>“I can appreciate that.” Shawn says.</p><p>Quinn sighs, uncomfortable with the intimacy of the moment. “Anyway. I’m still not sure about you in general, but I shouldn’t have assumed what your intentions were here.”</p><p>Shawn frowns. “You’re not sure about me?”</p><p>Quinn pauses. “All of this, and <em>that’s</em> your takeaway?”</p><p>“Sorry. I just…Starting from the beginning, I wasn’t expecting to teach here either. Andrew took care of the arrangements, I literally just showed up yesterday. So I get your reaction, it’s fine. I can tell you’re passionate about being a teacher, and I promise I’ll be a good student too.”</p><p>There’s a flash of emotion behind Quinn’s eyes, but it’s gone as quick as it came. “The kids will love you.” She says. “And I promise, they’re not that bad once you get past the first day jitters.”</p><p>He laughs, stretching his arms above his head. His shirt rides up, and Quinn’s eyes flash to the exposed skin of his torso, specifically to the long scar from his ribs that disappears down into his pants.</p><p>When he catches her eyes, he pulls his shirt down, suddenly self-conscious.</p><p>“The accident…” She starts, pausing again to consider her words. “I’m sorry. That must have been scary for you.”</p><p>Shawn’s heart pounds in his chest, not expecting to talk about this, and definitely not with Quinn. “Uh, yeah. It would have been if I remembered it.” At Quinn’s confused stare, he clears his throat. “I got really drunk that night. It’s my fault. It could have been much worse if it wasn’t just me.”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>“Yeah. So this is what I get. Trying to remember why I’m in the world by giving back to it.”</p><p>Quinn nods, turning back to the cut-outs. She begins to arrange them by species, and without looking up at Shawn, gestures to the corner of the room next to her. “The kids are gonna be here soon, and you look tired, so I recommend some hot chocolate.”</p><p>Shawn stares at her, and Quinn sighs again. </p><p>
  <em>She seems to do a lot of that. </em>
</p><p>“There’s a keurig if you want some. Sometimes I make hot chocolate for the kids when it’s cold out, or when we have reading time. You’re welcome to it if you’d like.”</p><p>“Thanks, Mrs. Agbayani.” He says, standing.</p><p>“<em>Miss</em> Agbayani.” She corrects. “I’m not married. The kids call me Miss Quinn or Miss A.”</p><p>Shawn nods, mentally noting it.</p><p>-</p><p>By lunch time, Shawn’s exhausted. </p><p>He’s been around Zubin’s kids, even his cousins, but he’s never dealt with twenty kids with twenty different personalities like this. </p><p>Only a couple of the kids knew who he was, mostly because of their older siblings or parents. They all seem to like him thus far, but he can’t totally be sure. Third graders are apparently very hard to read.</p><p>He and Quinn took the first half hour shift to do lunch monitor duty. It was for the first and second grade class, which was a lot easier than he thought. After their half hour was over, they head back to Quinn’s classroom, which is empty due to the kids being in the gymnasium for P.E.</p><p>Quinn takes out her lunch and Shawn takes out his, and they sprawl the food out across her desk. They eat in a comfortable silence for awhile, Shawn mostly looking at his phone. He feels rude about it after fifteen minutes, deciding to make small talk.</p><p>If she’s going to be his boss, he might as well be a good co-worker.</p><p>“So,” he starts, taking a bite of his wrap. “How am I doing?”</p><p>Quinn shrugs, putting what looks like beans from her hot thermos onto a roll of bread. It’s the first time he’s paid attention to what she’s eating. “So far so good. The kids seem to really like you. Plus, it’s flattering to know you memorized most of the binder.”</p><p>“It’s a thorough binder.” He scrunches up his nose when she takes a bite of her bean sandwich, leaning back into his chair a little. “What is that?”</p><p>She arches an eyebrow at him, swallowing her food before responding. “What is what?”</p><p>“Your lunch?”</p><p>“What about it?”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>Quinn frowns. “It’s Pork and Beans and Pandesal.”</p><p>Shawn stares blankly. “You lost me at the second thing.”</p><p>“Pandesal is a filipino bread roll. I used to eat it with pork and beans when I was a kid.”</p><p>“Is that like…why are you looking at me like that?”</p><p>Quinn smirks. “Like a rich white boy?”</p><p>“Yes.” Shawn scoffs. “Don’t mock me. Can I finish my question?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“Is it common to eat it like that? With beans?”</p><p>“If you grew up broke like I did, sure.”</p><p>Shawn stops. He reconsiders her casual clothes and her love for the school, piecing a little bit more about her together. “You grew up in this neighborhood too, didn’t you?”</p><p>“I think that’s enough sharing for today,” Quinn says, pulling out her laptop and opening it up. “I’m going to make sure I’ve got everything I need for this afternoon, if you don’t mind grabbing the kids from the gym?”</p><p>Shawn frowns, but nods anyway, taking one last bite of his wrap, throwing the rest away. “Yeah, sure.”</p><p>He’s almost out the door when he wants to turn and apologize, but Quinn must sense it, because she puts in her headphones, shutting him out.</p><p>
  <em>Nice going, idiot.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Quinn sighs, tying her curls into a bun before hopping out of her car, shrugging her backpack over her shoulder.</p><p>She grips the drink tray of Starbucks coffees in one hand as she scrolls through her phone with the other, trying to find the most recent “Crikey! It’s the Irwins” episode to play for her students. They’d been loving their Zoology unit lately, and she figured that would be a good break from their reading and workbooks. </p><p>As she enters the front office, she pockets her phone and swipes her ID badge to clock in, smiling at Mrs. Goldman.</p><p>“Good morning Mrs. G,” she says, handing her a hot cup from the tray. </p><p>Mrs. Goldman smiles back, accepting the cup with a thanks. “Shawn’s first day is today.” She mentions.</p><p>Melodie was never one for subtleties anyway. Straight to the point, as always.</p><p>Quinn rolls her eyes. “He’s going to do just fine. The kids already like him and he’s got his lesson plans going. He won’t break.”</p><p>“That may be so, but it’s not every day music’s number one star ends up going from the stage to a classroom full of third and sixth graders just outside of Toronto.”</p><p>“You know just as well as I do that that’s his fault.”</p><p>“He had his heartbroken, Quinn. Heartbreak makes people do irrational things.”</p><p>“So write a song about it like everyone else does.” She mumbles, and when she looks up, Mrs. Goldman is frowning.</p><p>“If I remember correctly, you knew what heartbreak felt like not too long ago.”</p><p>
  <em>Ouch, Melodie. Touche.</em>
</p><p>“He needs this, Quinn.” She says gently. “Not just for legal reasons. He needs something to distract him from that heavy heart. You found your distraction here. Why can’t he?”</p><p>Quinn purses her lips, then sighs. “Fine, I will check in on him two times today, if it makes you feel better.”</p><p>“And take your lunch monitor duty together.”</p><p>A beat. “Fine.”</p><p>Mrs. Goldman sighs. “I thought you two were getting along.”</p><p>“We are.” Quinn says. “We get along just fine, we don’t have to be best friends though.”</p><p>“No, but it would be good to have someone to lean on, now wouldn’t it?” She points out. “There’s a reason I made you his supervisor, you know.”</p><p>“Dating co-workers is against the rules.”</p><p>Mrs. Goldman smirks. “I never said anything about dating, but now that you mention it…”</p><p>“Have a good day, Mrs. Goldman!”</p><p>Quinn shuffles out of the office, placing coffee cups on Mrs. Dobson and Mr. Pell’s desk before taking her Cinnamon Dolce Latte to her own classroom.</p><p>She’s shocked to find Shawn there, typing away on his phone and standing next to her brewing Keurig. He’s using a Toronto Maple Leafs mug - definitely one of his own - and she can smell the hot chocolate as she crosses the threshold into the room.</p><p>“Morning, Miss A.” Shawn greets, a small smile on his face.</p><p>“Morning Mr. Mendes,” she responds in kind. “You’re here early.”</p><p>“You are too.”</p><p>She raises a brow at him playfully. “I’m always early, what’s your excuse?”</p><p>He shrugs. “Call it first day jitters. Just wanted to make sure I set up my classroom.” Quinn nods, and after a beat, he says “I was wondering if you’d come take a look at it? I just want to make sure the kids will like it.”</p><p>Quinn wants to say no, but she remembers what Mrs. Goldman said, and ends up nodding. “I’d love to, sure.”</p><p>Shawn turns off the Keurig when he’s done, and they both take their cups as they wind through the halls to the music room. </p><p>Prior to Shawn’s arrival, the music room had been untouched for the most part aside from teachers using it as a break room or private area to get away from the noise. </p><p>And now, it looks like Shawn’s taken it over as his private studio.</p><p>The floor looks much like Quinn’s classroom, rugs overlapping one another and covering up every square inch of the tiled floor. There’s a bunch of instruments stacked up and put away neatly in a cubby shelf Shawn’s also managed to bring in. There’s drums, triangles, tambourines, harmonicas, and he’s got several child friendly guitars lined up along the walls.</p><p>A record player, boombox, tape player, and large radio sit on top of the cubby shelf, along with a crate of old and new vinyl records, CDs, and cassette tapes. </p><p>There’s even a couple of microphones, mic stands, along the opposite wall, and an amp that sits next to Shawn’s desk.</p><p>She notices he’s also taken cues from her in terms of the pillows on the ground, and a basket full of little square cushions for the kids to sit on. </p><p>“Where…where did you get all this stuff?” Quinn asks in amazement. She turns and finds a keyboard on Shawn’s desk, and can’t help but smile.</p><p>Shawn shrugs. “The Shawn Mendes Foundation partners with a lot of music stores, so I called up some of my connections and they all had this stuff donated. All the equipment in here one hundred percent belongs to Littlewood Academy.”</p><p>Quinn frowns, almost pouting when she says “but this stuff…it’s expensive, isn’t it?”</p><p>“That’s why it’s a donation.” Shawn reasons. “The kids deserve it.”</p><p>Her heart skips a beat. He’s only spent one week with these kids and yet Quinn knows he means what he says. She takes another appreciative look around the room, and the recognition hits her brain and is out of her mouth before she can even stop herself.</p><p>“It looks like your stage set.”</p><p>The minute she says it she regrets it, wants to take it back, but Shawn’s already smirking at her when she looks at him in slight horror. She takes an unconscious step back, and Shawn follows her. “You know what my set looks like?”</p><p>“I already told you that I knew who you were and I knew some of your music.” Quinn tries, taking another step back.</p><p>Shawn shakes his head, playfully predatory as he follows her.. “Yeah, but that doesn’t explain how you know what my set looks like.”</p><p>“So I’ve been to a show? What’s the big deal?”</p><p>“You were a fan of mine?”</p><p>Quinn really does frown then, taking another step back when she bumps into Shawn’s desk. “I didn’t say I stopped.”</p><p>Shawn stops inches away, looking down at her short frame. “Well you didn’t exactly sound like a fan of mine when we met.”</p><p>“I was being professional!”</p><p>Shawn raises an eyebrow. “I was pretty sure you hated me.”</p><p>“I don’t hate you.” Quinn says. “I just-”</p><p>Her Apple Watch vibrates, and Quinn’s head snaps down to look at it. “That’s the fifteen minute warning.” She says, thankful for the interruption. She had no idea where that conversation was going anymore. “I’ve gotta go back to my class. You should probably start to get ready for yours.”</p><p>Shawn backs up, and Quinn straightens. She heads for the door, “I’ll see you at ten, Shawn.”</p><p>He’s stuck to his place, unsure of where to go from here. He was just teasing - it’s the first time he’s had the opportunity to say something to her without totally messing up. </p><p>And then he realizes.</p><p>
  <em>She called me Shawn.</em>
</p><p>-</p><p>The period bell rings and Quinn, sighs, already exhausted from the day. Her kids are all sugared up from their breakfast this morning, and she has to remember to have Mrs. Goldman tell the kitchen not to allow the kids to have so much syrup when it’s waffle day.</p><p>She looks to the door and is relieved to find Shawn already standing there, hands in his pockets with a smile.</p><p>“You little munchkins ready?” He asks.</p><p>The kids all get up and run over to him, crowding the door as they put their shoes on and smile at Shawn. </p><p>One of Quinn’s students, Elena, always a bit timid and shy compared to the others, looks nervous, and Shawn zeroes in on her without Quinn even having to give him the signal. “You alright, Elena?”</p><p>She nods. “I’ve never played music before, Mr. Mendes.” </p><p>“Sure you have.” He insists. “People play music differently. We’ll learn about that today, how does that sound?”</p><p>Elena smiles. They all follow Shawn out the door, and once he’s gone, Quinn breathes a sigh of relief. </p><p>She shuts her eyes, leaning back into her chair and trying not to feel like this day is going to defeat her. </p><p>“So, how’s it going with our resident musician?”</p><p>Quinn’s eyes fly open, and she finds Adam Pell standing in her doorway. “Shouldn’t you be on library duty?”</p><p>Mr. Pell shrugs. “It’s fine. Marlene’s got it. I was just running to grab her water bottle when I saw Shawn leave and you go into immediate sulk.”</p><p>“I am not sulking.” Quinn protests, but Adam scoffs. “Quinn. I know you. You’ve been here two years, I know what it looks like when you sulk.”</p><p>He comes into the class, toeing his shoes off by the door before sitting in one of the desks across from her. He props his arm on the back of the chair and rests his head in his hand. “Is it Shawn?”</p><p>Quinn sighs. “No. I’m just exhausted.”</p><p>Adam scoffs. “Sure you are.”</p><p>“I am!”</p><p>“Exhausted over ogling him all day, I bet.”</p><p>Quinn rolls her eyes. “Adam, I am not ogling him. I’m his supervisor.”</p><p>“You’re technically not. You sign off on his community service papers, along with Mel. That’s not supervising, that’s just volunteer shit.”</p><p>She narrows her eyes at him. Quinn never liked swearing in school, especially not when students could always be around the corner. </p><p>“I think he likes you.”</p><p>Quinn raises a brow. “Why would you say that?”</p><p>“Because he’s been here for all of two weeks and he looks at you like all he wants is for you to see him.”</p><p>“I do see him-”</p><p>“No. Like <em>really</em> see him. Like he wants you to acknowledge that he’s in your orbit.”</p><p>“He is <em>not</em> in my orbit.” </p><p>Adam smirks. “You might not think so, but he sure does.”</p><p>-</p><p>Quinn says goodbye to her last student, waving at them and their mother as they head out of the classroom and down the hall. With a sigh, she looks around at her mostly clean classroom, and her shoulders slump in exhaustion.</p><p>She breaks out her sanitizing wipes and starts to wipe down all the desks and chairs when Shawn pops his head in the doorway, smiling. </p><p>“Need help?”</p><p>Quinn’s about to say no, but then Shawn’s toeing off his shoes and setting his backpack by the door before stepping into the room, taking a wipe from the container. </p><p>They work together to clean the desks, and when they’re done, Quinn puts the wipes away and grabs her backpack, closing everything up. </p><p>Shawn waits patiently by the door, and they put their shoes on together then head out to the front office. </p><p>“How was your first day?” Quinn asks, trying to be polite. She didn’t interact with him much when he brought the kids back, or when they had lunch duty, or even when they ate together. It was more just keeping each other company.</p><p>She felt exhausted from the day, and just thrown by what had happened in the morning, and was still trying to make sense of it while also trying to make sense of her next unit with the kids. </p><p>“Amazing.” Shawn says. Quinn looks up at him and sees his kilowatt smile, and she offers one of her own. “I don’t think I’d ever considered being a music teacher before, but I love it. The kids are so <em>new</em> to most of it, so watching them discover it brings back memories for me.”</p><p>Quinn nods. “That’s good, Shawn. Sounds like you’re going to enjoy your community service.”</p><p>There’s a look on his face that Quinn can’t read, but she doesn’t pry.</p><p>They clock out together and big goodbye to Mrs. Goldman before heading out to their cars. Shawn smiles and waves as they head across the lot, calling out “Bye Miss A!”</p><p>Quinn remembers what Mrs. Goldman said earlier. </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>You found your distraction here. Why can’t he?</b>
  </em>
</p><p>She smiles, waving back and says “Bye Shawn!” before scurrying into her car and burying her head in her hands.</p><p>
  <em>Get a grip.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Quinn looks as exhausted and as stressed as she feels.</p><p>She’s got a pounding headache, small smatterings of acne on her forehead and cheeks, and dark circles under her eyes. The usual glow to her bronze skin is gone and she looks pale under the fluorescent lights of the school. Her curls are in a pile on her head, and she’s pretty sure they’re going to stay that way until she can get enough rest to be able to deal with them. </p><p>Three times now she’s been asked if she’s sick, and if she needs to go home. Truth be told she could use a nap, but it’s almost the weekend and she’s going to pull through on this day even if it kills her.</p><p>Quinn’s given her kids the task of working together in their desk groups to draw and color different habitats from each continent along with the animals that live there, finally bringing their geography unity to a close after three weeks. </p><p>She’s going to pick up where they left off on their reading comprehension, and then start them on marine biology in the new week after the Thanksgiving break. She’s been staying up late most nights preparing for it - writing curriculum, finding videos and books to share, coming up with their homework assignments (once a week because Quinn doesn’t believe in bombarding children with unnecessary amounts of homework, and it’s always a small take home assignment they can do with their parents or siblings), and preparing some of the decorations she’s going to bring in to cater to the hands-on experience. </p><p>It’s a lot of work, and Adam and Marlene Rosa call her “extra” for it, but she can’t help that she just wants to be sure her kids get the very best she can give them.</p><p>Even if it drains the very life out of her just doing so.</p><p>Two of the five groups finish by the time the bell rings, and she can feel her headache starting to disappear at the thought of a little peace and quiet for a bit. </p><p>Shawn appears in the doorway, signature smile on as he greets her students. “Who’s ready for more music today?”</p><p>Choruses of “Me!” and “I am Mr. Mendes!” ring out as her kids get up from their seats, rushing to their cubbies to put their shoes back on. Elena passes by Quinn’s desk, dropping a note on it before scurrying to greet Shawn.</p><p>Quinn smiles at Elena, then looks up to find Shawn, and all of her kids staring at her. </p><p>“Yes?” She asks playfully.</p><p>“Aren’t you going to say the thing?” Robin, one of the more energetic boys in her class says.</p><p>Quinn smirks at her kids, then leans on her elbows. “Make good choices, kids.”</p><p>“<em>You</em> make good choices!” They all respond, giggling as they follow Shawn down the hall. </p><p>Quinn opens up Elena’s note, and her eyes tear up.</p><p>
  <em>“To Miss A - </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re the prettiest and best teacher ever. Thank you for letting us color all day today, even if we have to do our times tables this afternoon! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love, Elena P.”</em>
</p><p>She folds up the note, stuffing it in her pocket when Adam walks in, toeing off his shoes before plopping down in his usual spot.</p><p>“You sure you don’t need the day off?”</p><p>Quinn sighs. “No. It’s Friday anyway, and Monday’s Thanksgiving, so it would be pointless. Besides, I have to come in tomorrow to put up decorations, and I-”</p><p>“Do you need help?”</p><p>Adam and Quinn’s heads whip to the door where Shawn stands.</p><p>“What?” Is all Quinn can come up with in response.</p><p>“Do you need help this weekend? With the decorations? I know weekends aren’t part of my hours but I don’t have any plans, so I-”</p><p>“Did you need something, Mr. Mendes?” Quinn asks. She’s only cutting him off because she can feel Adam’s eyes staring holes into the side of her head, and she wants it to stop.</p><p>“Oh, yeah. Sorry,” he says sheepishly, laughing as he starts to toe off his sneakers. “Elijah said he left his inhaler in here, I was just coming to get it.” </p><p>Adam pauses. “Do you always have him bring his inhaler?”</p><p>Shawn nods, heading for Elijah’s cubby. “I mean, yeah? I’ve never had asthma but music requires a lot of breathing sometimes and I don’t want to take any chances.” He finds the little pouch where the inhaler is, then heads for the door, slipping his socked feet back into his sneakers. “I’m gonna head back, I promised the kids I’d only be gone for a couple of minutes, but let me know if you need help this weekend, okay? We’ll talk more about it at lunch.”</p><p>Adam stares dumbfounded at Shawn’s back as he retreats, then looks back at Quinn. “Okay, what kind of spell do you have him under and can you teach me how to make my husband do that?”</p><p>Quinn rolls her eyes. “Adam, please. Enough with this orbit thing.”</p><p>“I’ll drop it when you pick up that head of yours and take a look around. If he was here for just the community service thing, I’m sure he’d be seven shades of miserable. But he’s actually enjoying it. Who do you think taught him that?”</p><p>Quinn tilts her head. “Why would I want him to be miserable with the kids for forty two days? Of course I’m going to make sure he enjoys his time here.”</p><p>“You taught him that, but he didn’t have to pick it up.” Adam points out. “He did so because he paid attention to <em>you</em>.”</p><p>“I am his <em>supervisor.</em>” Quinn reiterates. “I am not-”</p><p>“You’re not anything more. I know. But I am not the only teacher who sees the way he interacts with you.”</p><p>“He spent a week with me before starting to shadow me, obviously he’s going to hang around me a little more.”</p><p>“Then why didn’t Melodie ask him to shadow us too?”</p><p>Quinn narrows her eyes. “The shadow thing was my idea.”</p><p>“And it was a good one,” Adam points out, “That Melodie approved of. But she only had him down to shadow you, one class out of the five he teaches. Why do you think that is? And if you say it’s because you’re his supervisor I will break your Keurig.”</p><p>“Adam.” Quinn says, pinching the bridge of her nose. “For the last time. <em>Drop it.</em>”</p><p>“Do you not like him?”</p><p>Her eyes pop open. “He’s a nice kid. I don’t hate him. But I am not interested.”</p><p>“Is it because of Ad-”</p><p>Quinn throws the closest thing she can grab - Adam’s lucky it’s a stress ball and not a stapler or her tape dispenser - and tosses it at his head. “I said <em>drop it</em>.”</p><p>Adam stares at Quinn, but holds his hands up in surrender, then heads for the door.</p><p>Her headache pounds louder than it has all day.</p><p>-</p><p>“Any Thanksgiving plans?” Shawn asks at the end of the day, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.</p><p>Quinn shakes her head, stuffing her hands in her jacket pockets. “Not really. Just the usual, big family dinner, eat all day, watch hockey, watch movies, karaoke at the end of the night when all my aunts and uncles are drunk.” They both laugh a little, and then Quinn looks up at Shawn. “What about you? Any huge plans in the Mendes family?”</p><p>“No,” he says, curls moving as he shakes his head. “About the same as yours, minus the karaoke part.”</p><p>“Well that’s probably because karaoke is no fun when there’s a popstar in the family?”</p><p>Shawn frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“Karaoke’s not karaoke for you,” Quinn laughs, “It’s just a free gig of you singing covers.”</p><p>Shawn stops in his tracks dramatically in the hallway, staring at Quinn in mock horror. “How very dare you.”</p><p>She rolls her eyes, heading for the front office. “C’mon you, time to clock out. Overtime doesn’t count on your hour sheet either.”</p><p>He follows her obediently, taking a few quick steps to catch up to her. “Are you sure you don’t want any help tomorrow? Believe it or not I really don’t have plans.”</p><p>Quinn shakes her head as she pushes open the office door. “I’m good, I promise. I’m also a bit of a control freak, if you haven’t noticed, so I think it’s best I do it alone.”</p><p>She grabs Shawn’s hour sheet from the folder in her mailbox and hands it to Shawn. He fills out his hours for the day while Quinn swipes both of their IDs at the main desk, clocking them out for the day. When she returns to his side, she grabs the hourly sheet, signing her signature in the indicated block for today. She stuffs the paper back into the folder and places it in her mailbox, then heading out to the lot with Shawn at her side.</p><p>“Well, call me, okay? If you need help.” Shawn says. </p><p>“I don’t have your number.” Quinn reminds him. It’s meant to affirm her “no,” but instead, Shawn reaches into the pocket of her jacket and takes it out, plugging his number in before Quinn can protest.</p><p>“Now you do. And I texted myself so I have your number too.” He says. “Seriously. I don’t have any plans, so if you need a tall person to help instead of standing on a ladder, I’ll be there.”</p><p>“No short jokes are allowed, Mr. Mendes.”</p><p>Shawn smirks. “Can’t be a joke if it’s true.” He waves as he heads towards his Jeep, smiling. “Bye Miss A!”</p><p>-</p><p>The next morning, Shawn wakes up in a heap of his own misery. He really wishes he’d gone through his calendar and double checked that he’d cleared everything out, because now he’s regretting that he didn’t do it. His calendar reminded him of an event, one he wishes he could scrub from the depths of his memory.</p><p>It’s Maddie’s birthday. </p><p>He curses his past self who couldn’t bear to let her go, wishes he’d let his family and friends intervene and scrub her from his life for good. </p><p>Zombie-like movements are all he can manage, barely having enough energy to shower and brush his teeth before he lands back in bed, wishing his sheets would swallow him whole. If there’s any way he’s going to get out of this funk, he knows he needs to be out of his godforsaken apartment and outside, but he doesn’t want to resort to driving around the city like an idiot. He also said he wasn’t going to be home in Pickering until tomorrow evening, and if he went home early his family would <em>know</em> what was going on and that’s just…not a conversation he feels like having around the holidays.</p><p>He shuts his eyes, burying his face into his pillow and praying for relief. Seconds pass and his phone vibrates next to his arm. Shawn picks his head up, confused, but when he sees Quinn’s name, he lights up.</p><p>“Let me guess,” he jokes when he picks up. “You can’t reach the top of the wall?”</p><p>His heart sinks when he’s met with sobs on the other line. “Shawn, I need your help.”</p><p>He’s out of bed and reaching for his jeans immediately. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”</p><p>-</p><p>When Shawn gets to the school, Quinn’s car is the only other one in the lot, and he rushes inside, trying to find her in case things got worse.</p><p>When he doesn’t find her in her classroom, he panics, wondering where the hell else she could be. Shawn recognizes the blueprints for her classroom design from her binder, finding it scattered on the floor among the various decorations. He sees a few tear drops on them, and frowns, unsure where to look to even find her.</p><p>Shawn suddenly remembers the walkie talkie all teachers are supposed to have, and heads toward the music room to grab his, figuring if Quinn’s anywhere in the school he could try to walkie her and figure out where she is.</p><p>Only, when he gets to the music room, she’s there, laying on her back, arms covering her face as her chest shakes with her quiet sobs.</p><p>“Quinn?”</p><p>She doesn’t move, but makes a noise of acknowledgement. Shawn moves quietly, sitting down a few feet away from her. “What happened?” She mumbles something in response, and Shawn scoots closer.</p><p>“I’m sorry Quinn, I didn’t-”</p><p>“A paper cut.” </p><p>Her statement is quiet in the room, and Shawn’s confusion prevents him from wanting to laugh.</p><p>“A…paper cut?”</p><p>“I was stressed out.” Quinn begins, voice slow and cotton like. “Exhausted. Rushing, trying to hang everything up, and then I got a paper cut from one of the posters and I just…” She sighs, removing her arms from her face, head lolling to the side to look at Shawn. “I had a mini panic attack.”</p><p>“Okay,” he presses gently. “And then what? How did you end up here?”</p><p>“I called you for help, because I didn’t want to do it by myself anymore. But then I didn’t want to be around all of my stuff anymore. I needed an open space.”</p><p>“So you came in here.” Shawn concludes. </p><p>Quinn nods slowly, head moving to stare back at the ceiling. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you.”</p><p>“You didn’t.” He insists. “How uh…how long have you had panic attacks for?”</p><p>Quinn frowns, tears gathering in her eyes. Her lips wobble a little as she tries to steady her breathing, and Shawn’s heart breaks. </p><p>She’s usually so strong, level headed, confident - he’s not used to seeing his feisty co-worker like this at all. When they first met Shawn swore she could burn holes in his body by looking at him, and now, she’s crying in front of him.</p><p>That’s more progress than he anticipated.</p><p>“Since my senior year of college.” She says, voice still coming out slowly. “So…three years, now? I get them when I get stressed out. Usually the stress comes in waves.”</p><p>“What kinds of waves?”</p><p>“Acne first.” She says. “Then eczema. Mostly on my arms. Sleep deprivation next. Irritability. And then…it all just balls up until something happens to make it burst.”</p><p>“Like a paper cut.”</p><p>Quinn nods sagely. “Like a paper cut.”</p><p>Shawn remembers the disheveled state she was in just the day before. Remembers how tired she’s been for the last week, practically. He feels bad for not noticing.</p><p>After a few quiet moments, Shawn says “I have panic attacks, too. Not as much anymore, but I still do.”</p><p>Quinn lolls her head toward him again. “You do?”</p><p>He nods. “I used to a lot when I was younger, dealing with the pressures of my career. They went away for awhile but…they came back recently.”</p><p>Her eyebrow raises in curiosity. “Recently? Why?”</p><p>“I assume you know why I’m here. For the community service stuff?” Quinn nods. “Well…my ex dumped me. We um…well…she dumped me on the day of our wedding. And that kind of set me back.”</p><p>Quinn frowns. “I’m sorry, Shawn.”</p><p>“It’s okay.” He says. “I lost myself for awhile, since we were together for so long. I started drinking, and finding parties and things to distract me. It uh, worked for a bit. But then the noise dies down, and you go home to your apartment alone, and the silence says it all.”</p><p>“When was your last one?”</p><p>“Two days before I met you.” He says honestly. “And yours, before this?”</p><p>She shrugs. “Maybe a few months. I just get overwhelmed. I don’t pace myself. I want the best for the kids.”</p><p>“I know you do,” he says. He scoots a little closer, getting a better look at her face. It’s slightly red and splotchy from the crying, and Shawn reaches out, brushing some curls away from her face. “That’s why I’m here to help. For the kids, and for you.”</p><p>Her lip wobbles when she thanks him, and Shawn shakes his head. “No need. You stay here, okay? I’m going to go grab some things.”</p><p>She nods, and Shawn heads out to her class. </p><p>He starts up a cup of hot chocolate for Quinn, and begins organizing her papers and supplies while he waits for it to brew. Once it’s done, he grabs the mug and the blanket laid over her desk chair, heading back to the music room.</p><p>She’s still laying in her spot, but she appears much more relaxed now. She sits up slowly when he enters the room, crossing her legs and turning to face him. Quinn accepts the mug and blanket with a small smile, and Shawn sits back down across from her. </p><p>“Thank you.” She says. “For coming. I know I said you didn’t have to, but-”</p><p>“I want to.” He says. “And you needed a friend, clearly.”</p><p>She doesn’t say anything, just takes a sip and pulls the blanket over her legs. Shawn goes to reach behind his guitar case for the remote to the oil diffuser he set up the other day, and Quinn makes a small noise.</p><p>“If you grab that guitar to serenade me, I swear to god, Mendes.”</p><p>Shawn sighs. She’s definitely starting to feel like herself again. He grabs the remote from behind the case, brandishing it in front of her, before pressing the power button, and turning on the color changing light. </p><p>Quinn’s nose wiggles at the smell as she watches the diffuser on his desk. “What’s that?”</p><p>“Eucalyptus and rosemary.” He says. “It helps calm me down sometimes. I figured it would help.”</p><p>She smiles behind her mug, but Shawn still catches it. “It helps.”</p><p>-</p><p>A couple hours later, Quinn’s classroom is set up and finished. It looks like something off of those pinterest boards that Shawn’s mom loves so much, and Quinn looks pretty proud of it. </p><p>“Well, it definitely screams ‘Marine Biology.’”</p><p>“Is it too much?”</p><p>Shawn shakes his head. “No way. The kids will love it.”</p><p>Quinn nods, and together they clean up their little mess, putting everything away neatly before grabbing their things to head out. </p><p>On the way to the lot, Quinn stops. </p><p>“Hey,” Quinn says, gently tugging on his arm. </p><p>Shawn looks down at her, smiling softly. “What’s up?”</p><p>“I just…I didn’t get to thank you, for all of this. For helping me.”</p><p>“I said I would.”</p><p>“I know, but you didn’t have to. You didn’t have to come and help me, or stay and make me feel better.”</p><p>Shawn can’t figure out where this softer side of Quinn is coming from, but he feels it’s more progress in one weekend he’s made since he first met her nearly three weeks ago, so he’ll take it.”You don’t have to thank me.” He says. “We’re friends, right? It’s fine.”</p><p>There’s an emotion he can’t quite place on her face, but she smiles softly right back at him and says “Yeah. Friends. Um, speaking of, my friend Max is having a gallery opening next weekend. He’s an artist, or, a sculptor I should say. He started this gallery to support small businesses and crafts, and it’s finally opening this weekend. I invited a few other teachers and Mrs. Goldman, but I was wondering if you wanted to come too?”</p><p>Shawn can’t deny that he’s a little speechless. </p><p>“Yeah. I’d love to.” He says. “I’ll be there.”</p><p>“Okay.” Quinn says, smiling. “I’ll give you more details this week, but I figured I’d ask before you left for the holiday weekend.”</p><p>He nods. “I appreciate it. Are you um…are you okay to get home on your own? I can-”</p><p>“I’m good, Shawn.” She assures him. “Enjoy your Thanksgiving, okay? I’ll see you on Wednesday.”</p><p>“See you Wednesday.” He promises, smiling as she walks away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shawn feels nervous, almost shaking when he knocks on the door of Quinn’s apartment. He got weird looks from a few of her neighbors downstairs and tried his best to conceal himself under his hoodie and beanie, managing to make it up to her floor unscathed.</p><p>He’s here twenty minutes early because he feels like punctuality is something Quinn appreciates, and isn’t surprised when she opens the door and is already dressed. </p><p>“Oh, hi Shawn.” She says, motioning for him to come in. He toes off his shoes and steps inside, keeping his hands in his pockets. </p><p>Quinn’s apartment reflects much like her classroom - small, but cozy, and neat. She’s got white walls and cool blue tones in her furniture and blankets. Her backpack for school rests on the floor next to her coffee table, and he takes note of the drawings and notes from her students on the walls.</p><p>“I hope you don’t mind if we take my car. I just figured it would be easier than giving you directions and being a backseat driver.” Quinn says as she walks through her place.</p><p>“No, that’s fine.” He says. He follows her to her kitchen, not surprised at the plants on the windowsill, more drawings on the fridge, or how it smells like the definition of “comfort food.”</p><p>“Did you want water? I also have lemonade too.” </p><p>“I’ll take a water, sure.” </p><p>Quinn pulls out a glass and a brita filtered pitcher, pouring him water before sliding it to him across the island. She smiles kindly at him, leaning against the counter.</p><p>“I was surprised when you agreed to come to the gallery opening.” She admits.</p><p>“I was surprised you asked me to come.” Shawn retorts, smirking so she knows he’s only kidding. “But I’m excited. I haven’t been to a gallery in a long time.”</p><p>“Oh? And is that by choice or by schedule?”</p><p>“Both,” he says. “Most of the galleries I go to are for charity events and functions, white collar stuff. It gets a little boring. I haven’t had time much lately to go because of…well, school. But also just life, too, I guess.”</p><p>“Well Max’s gallery is going to be much more fun than those high brow things.” Quinn jokes, pouring herself a glass of water too. “Or at least, I hope it’ll be.”</p><p>“Will there be drugs? People writing large checks? People showing up with dates who are not their spouses?”</p><p>Quinn’s eyes widen, hands paused in mid air. “Um…no?”</p><p>Shawn smiles, teasing. “Then it’ll be much more fun.”</p><p>She smiles back, laughing. “Well then we should probably get going soon. It’s a little out of the city, so we’ve got a small drive.”</p><p>“Lead the way, Miss A.”</p><p>-</p><p>The gallery is like nothing Shawn’s ever seen before.</p><p>He had a museum in mind, something with white walls and canvases equally spaced across them, busts behind glass cases, odd metal sculptures that would give him headaches, but this is nothing like that.</p><p>Max’s gallery is called “Sienna’s Ruins,” apparently dubbed so after he used after a random name generator according to Quinn, and it’s bright and vibrant and fun. There’s music playing overhead, and while there are the few colorful canvases here and there, the small business aspect is also definitely evident. </p><p>In one corner, there’s a collection of handmade pottery done by a twenty two year old girl and her seventeen year old brother. They’ve got mugs and plates and bowls, and even mugs that fit into a person’s car cup holder. There’s also picture frames, memory boxes, and little pots as well.</p><p>In another corner, a girl with a pink pixie cut is selling her handmade prints that come in various forms - tote bags, buttons, stickers, phone cases, shirts, coasters, magnets - as well as some headbands and scrunchies.</p><p>There’s people selling photos they take on vacation, another person is selling magnets and photos of dogs in funny situations, and there’s also a nice old lady selling handmade jewelry from copper and silver wire decorated with beads, charms, and gems, and even more things Shawn hasn’t seen yet.</p><p>He’s overwhelmed by how cool this all is, and how everyone here is so nice and welcoming. He met Max when he and Quinn arrived, and Max didn’t seem phased at all by Shawn’s presence. He just handed him a bottle of beer and told him to enjoy it. </p><p>“Max is probably the coolest person I know.” Shawn says to Quinn.</p><p>She turns her head away from one of the portraits she was looking at, smiling at him. “I know. He’s always been that way.”</p><p>“How did you two meet?”</p><p>There’s a flash behind Quinn’s eyes, but she seems to smile at the memory anyway. “Max and I met through a mutual friend in college. I went to school in the states, and for as long as I’ve known him Max was always covered in ink or in paint. He actually-”</p><p>“Shawn?”</p><p>He sees Quinn frown slightly at the interruption right before he turns. Shawn’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head. </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>What is she doing here?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>No no no no no.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Please no.</b>
</p><p>“Maddie?”</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>What the hell is she doing here? I thought she left town after…</em>
  </b>
</p><p>She smiles, and Shawn recognizes that smile.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>She’s jealous. Why would she be jealous?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>“What are you doing here?” He asks, mouth full of cotton. He tries not to wince as she approaches. She gives him a hug but he doesn’t return it. Why would he?</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>And why does she think we’re on hugging terms in the first place?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Maddie pulls away from the hug, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she bats her eyelashes. “Lucas’ friend invited us to the gallery opening. What about you?”</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Why is she acting like we’re all old friends?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Shawn swallows. “Quinn’s friend Max owns the gallery.” </p><p>“Quinn?” Maddie quips, eyebrow arched.</p><p>As if on cue, Quinn steps forward, extending her hand with her signature parent-teacher smile that he knows all too well at this point. Shawn rests a hand on her back to bring her into the conversation, but also to ground himself a little. “Hi, I’m Quinn.”</p><p>“Oh,” Maddie says, shaking her hand loosely. She looks at Shawn, confused. “Are you two-”</p><p>“I’m his supervisor.” Quinn cuts in, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her coat. “I invited Shawn and a few of our co-workers to come along, support small businesses and local artists.”</p><p>“I see.” Maddie says, giving Quinn the obvious once over. “Supervisor? Is this for your community service?”</p><p>Shawn feels the jab right away. </p><p>
  <em>
    <b>How does she know about that? That’s not even public news!</b>
  </em>
</p><p>At his side, he senses Quinn stiffen beneath his palm. “Yeah,” he says lamely. “I teach music classes at Littlewood Academy.”</p><p>Maddie tries to hide her criticizing look, but fails.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>She was never good at subtleties. </em>
  </b>
</p><p>“Oh, well that’s nice. You’re helping underprivileged students and still doing what you love.”</p><p>“Littlewood may be in an underprivileged area but that doesn’t take away the greatness of our kids.” Quinn interrupts coldly. “Just because the building isn’t covered in gold and we don’t have mansions on every block doesn’t mean we don’t give our kids everything we’ve got. Shawn included.”</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Atta girl, Quinn.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>“Sure.” Maddie snarks, rolling her eyes. There’s tension where Shawn’s hand rests on Quinn’s back, and he has to grab the fabric of her coat, bunching it in his palm to stop her from launching herself at Maddie. “Well, I’d better go find Lucas. It was nice seeing you both.”</p><p>She turns on her heels and struts away, and Shawn should feel calmer, but he doesn’t. His heart continues to race as he looks back down at Quinn, who’s already staring at him and looks about ready to commit murder.</p><p>“Who the <em>fuck</em> was that?” Quinn asks, finally turning to him. Shawn releases his grip on Quinn’s coat and drops his hands to his sides, sighing.</p><p>“She uh…she’s an old friend.”</p><p>“Well your rich friends suck.” Quinn gripes, turning with a huff. </p><p>Shawn winces. “She’s…kind of more than a friend?”</p><p>Quinn looks back at him slowly. “Elaborate.” </p><p>“Maddie’s my ex.”</p><p>He can see it on her face as she connects the dots. Shawn expects every reaction other than the one that he gets.</p><p>Quinn nods her head toward the door. “Let’s get out of here.”</p><p>She heads toward the exit, steps ahead of him before he can catch up. Her head is on a swivel, looking for Max and Mrs. Goldman. When she sees them, she points toward the door and they both nod, waving their goodbyes. Shawn stumbles after her onto the sidewalk as she starts to walk back to her car.</p><p>“Wait!” He calls, jogging to catch up. He’s trailing behind her, but he’s still close enough to hear that she’s cursing in Filipino again.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>For someone who’s only five foot two she sure walks fast.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Quinn whips around, stray curls falling from her bun and into her face. “What?”</p><p>“You invited everyone here. I thought you wanted to be here?”</p><p>“I did. Until the entire reason for you being in this community service situation walked in and decided to throw her attitude around.” Quinn gets into the driver’s seat, slamming her door.</p><p>Shawn climbs into the passenger seat and buckles up in time for Quinn to start her car and pull out of the lot. “I thought you were going to hit her.”</p><p>“Oh I would have, but I don’t want to have to do community service.” She says, mocking Maddie’s voice. She means it as a jab at what Maddie said, but Shawn laughs anyway.</p><p>It makes Quinn laugh in turn after a beat, and then they’re both laughing, Quinn’s full and genuine smile lighting up her face. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” Quinn says. “I just…god she was a bitch. Was she always like that? Did she treat you like that?”</p><p>Shawn shrugs. “I’m going to be honest and say if she was I never noticed.”</p><p>Quinn keeps her eyes on the road, but he can still see the look in her eyes. It’s not pity, not like he’s used to. It’s…something else. “Well, I know this isn’t an original opinion, I’m glad you didn’t marry someone like her.”</p><p>“Why do you say that?”</p><p>“You’re too good for her.”</p><p>He doesn’t know what to say, so he says nothing. Quinn seems content not to follow it up either, and keeps driving.</p><p>A few minutes later they’re pulling into the downtown area, and Quinn parks right in front of a frozen yogurt shop.</p><p>“C’mon.” She says, opening her door. When Shawn doesn’t move, she rolls her eyes, nudging him a little. “I know your popstar diet probably doesn’t allow sugar but you can tell your trainer I’m in charge of this cheat day.”</p><p>“Fine by me.” Shawn says. He gets out of the car and follows Quinn inside. The shop is busy for the most part, but no one seems to bat an eyelash at Shawn’s presence. He feels good about it, but just to be safe, he puts his hood up and pulls his beanie down a little more, hoping for some semblance of discreet. </p><p>They make their bowls separately and Quinn doesn’t protest like he expects when Shawn pays for both of them. Quinn must sense his unease at being in a public space like this, and makes her way to a table in the corner and sits with her back to the wall, so Shawn can sit with his back to the shop.</p><p>“Thanks for this,” he says, taking a bite. “I appreciate it.”</p><p>“Yeah well, I figured there’s only one way to handle a situation like that, and we both need to decompress.”</p><p>He nods. “I liked Max’s gallery. There were some pretty cool pieces.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Quinn asks, looking at him briefly before going back to her frozen yogurt. “I’m glad you think so.</p><p>“I think I might go back,” he says, thinking of some of the ceramics, “Maybe buy a few pieces.”</p><p>She smiles, “I think Max would like that.”</p><p>Shawn goes to smile at the same time he means to take a bite, and ends up spilling down his chin and onto his hoodie. </p><p>“Oh goodness” Quinn says, shaking her head. He goes to wipe his mouth with his sleeve, and she waves her hand at him in protest. “<em>Bastos! </em>Use a napkin Shawn!”</p><p>“Don’t curse at me in Filipino.” He says, taking the napkin from her. “You’ve done enough of that tonight.” He wipes his face and pats down his hoodie, thankful when it comes off okay. “It makes me feel worse.”</p><p>“Good.” She teases. “Then I’ll keep doing it. It gets the point across better.”</p><p>“If you’re done berating me, I’d like to finish my cheat meal.”</p><p>She giggles at him, but nods, and he grabs his spoon again.</p><p>Quinn bites her lip, knowing she should leave it, but she can’t. “Shawn.” He looks up at her, and she hopes her ‘honesty’ face is still there. “I meant it you know, or, mean it, rather.” When he responds with confusion, Quinn reaches her hand across the table, taking his and giving it a squeeze. “You’re too good for her, for Maddie. Don’t let her ruin the progress you’ve made because she doesn’t deserve it.”</p><p>He feels himself wanting to lean in, trapped by the earnest look in Quinn’s eyes. “Thank you.”</p><p>She smiles, releasing his hand and digging back into her treat. </p><p>And yet, Shawn can’t take his eyes off of her, hands tingling at the loss of her touch.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Who told her?” Shawn demands through the phone, nostrils flaring in anger. He’s trying not to lash out, but he’s pissed.</p><p>There’s been a follow request for his private instagram sitting in his notifications since this morning, and Shawn wants to know who gave Maddie the right to think she could just weasel her way back into his life after he’d done so much to exorcise her out of it.</p><p>He also wants to know how she knows about his community service, because none of that was public information and was handled privately behind the scenes. There were no news stories other than those that contained details about the crash. But the court sentencing? No. No reports, nothing. His PR firm worked hard to bury it and they did.</p><p>And yet…Maddie knew. </p><p>Maddie knew, and he wants to know how.</p><p>“Shawn,” Andrew says firmly. “I didn’t tell Maddie anything. None of us did.”</p><p>“Well she knew. She showed up at the gallery opening I went to last night and made a comment about it and I want to know how she knows. Someone’s been talking to her, and I want to know who.”</p><p>“Wait…she’s in town?”</p><p>“Yes, Andrew. She’s in town.”</p><p>“But I thought she-”</p><p>“So did I.” </p><p>Andrew’s silent for a minute before he says, “I’ll take a look, ask around. We’ll figure it out.”</p><p>“Alright.” Shawn says. “And whoever it is, if they work for us, fire them. If not, just tell me who it is and I’ll deal with it.” He hangs up, throwing his phone on his desk before collapsing on his bed, throwing his arms over his eyes. </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Why the fuck is she back?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>What does she want?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Why is she doing this?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>He feels so drained, but mostly angry.</p><p>Maddie supposedly moved to the states with Lucas after she left Shawn. cAccording to Kennedy, one of Maddie’s former friends, after the wedding debacle, Kennedy saw that Maddie had created a new instagram, detailing her new found love and why she made the decision she did to leave Shawn, be with Lucas, and move to the states to start a new life.</p><p>“Sometimes you just have to take those one in a million chances,” Kennedy had recited to him from Maddie’s caption. “Following a childhood love and pursuing the life you’ve always dreamed of having. I know a lot of people are disappointed in me, but hopefully you can find it in your heart to understand why I had to follow mine.”</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>What a pile of bullshit.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>If Maddie wants back in his life, she’s going to have to wait for hell to freeze over. </p><p>-</p><p>“I’m sorry, about Maddie.” Shawn sighs.</p><p>Quinn quirks an eyebrow at him, taking a sip from her mug. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s not your fault.”</p><p>Shawn called Quinn after calming down from his conversation with Andrew and asked if he could swing by her place. He wanted to apologize for ruining Quinn’s night, and because he felt like he should’ve stood up for Quinn, refuted what Maddie said about Littlewood. Looking back, he feels like he was just a bystander, and he’s been kicking himself for it.</p><p>“It might not be my fault but she behaved that way because of me. Because I let her. I shouldn’t have let her talk to you like that.”</p><p>Quinn shakes her head at him, lowering her voice. “Shawn, first off, she behaved that way on her own. And second, you know I can take care of myself. Plus, you weren’t even expecting to see her again, right? So how could you have possibly known what she was going to say or do.”</p><p>“But I-”</p><p>“You don’t have to take responsibility for her anymore, Shawn.”</p><p>“I know. I know I don’t, but I-”</p><p>“You still feel responsible.”</p><p>He nods. “Yeah. I feel like I…like I caused it all, you know?”</p><p>Quinn frowns. “You didn’t, Shawn. You really didn’t.”</p><p>He wants to refute, go down his usual pity party rabbit hole, but instead he shuts his mouth, nodding. “Thank you for inviting me out, too. I don’t think I said that last night.”</p><p>“You didn’t have to.” She says. “I figured you had a good time anyway.”</p><p>“Why’s that?”</p><p>“Because you were smiling pretty much the entire time, aside from that little fiasco.”</p><p>Shawn pauses. “I was?”</p><p>Quinn laughs. “You don’t remember the things you smile about, Mendes?” </p><p>“I guess not,” he says, scratching his head. “I mean…I did enjoy it. It was fun.”</p><p>“See?” Quinn says, gesturing with her mug. “There you go.”</p><p>“Did you?” Shawn asks.</p><p>She pauses, tilting her head. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Did you have fun last night?</p><p>“Of course I did.” She says. “I wouldn’t have let you in my house a second time if I didn’t.”</p><p>Shawn picks up his mug, hiding behind it to smile. “Then I guess we’re officially co-workers who hang out outside of work.”</p><p>She snorts. “Is that the first normal human thing you’ve said in your life? Cause that’s the most normal thing I’ve heard out of you for almost the month that I’ve known you.”</p><p>“I am normal!”</p><p>“You keep telling yourself that, grammy nominated person standing in my small kitchen.”</p><p>-</p><p>Quinn feels like she’s intruding.</p><p>She knows that what happened between Shawn and his ex is none of her business, but there’s this irritating feeling in her gut that’s driving her to become very, very nosy.</p><p>He stayed for lunch after meeting for coffee, and he’s been gone from her place for a few hours now, but Quinn still feels him lingering in the air, still smells him from when he sat on the couch, still feels like he’s watching from over her shoulder as she grabs her laptop.</p><p>It’s already been established that she knows why Shawn is at Littlewood Academy. She did her research on it before, and he’s pretty much told her the story himself, but this is different.</p><p>The only thing she’d read previously was about his drunken escapade that ended in a nearly fatal car crash. Then Shawn confided in her and told her about Maddie and how she left him on their wedding day, apparently for someone else.</p><p>Now, as she types Maddie’s name into her search engine, this is more research for her own sake, not so much Shawn’s.</p><p>No matter how much she may try to reason with herself that it’s for Shawn, she knows it’s not.</p><p>
  <em>Madison Taylor Wright. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Twenty six. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Formerly engaged to singer-songwriter Shawn Mendes, currently dating Lucas Brennan, who apparently is her childhood best friend.</em>
</p><p>She scrolls through the cringeworthy gossip stories she would otherwise avoid, figuring out Maddie and Lucas had allegedly been sleeping together half the time that Maddie was engaged to Shawn, and Shawn didn’t know about it until it was too late.</p><p>There’s a handful of paparazzi photos of Maddie out with Shawn, Maddie out with Lucas, Shawn and Lucas out at the gym together, and Maddie, Shawn, and Lucas going places together - all taken before the wedding.</p><p>Quinn reads through probably a dozen theories - the most common fan theory that when Shawn and Maddie sent out the invitations, Lucas got one, realized he loved her, and flew home to fuck shit up and ruin the wedding and Maddie let him - and doesn’t feel any better about this girl by the time she shuts her laptop, head pounding with the new wave of information and consistent guilty feeling.</p><p>She was definitely right about Maddie being a bitch.</p><p>And that she didn’t deserve Shawn <em>at all</em>.</p><p>What she knows for sure is that Shawn got his heart broken by Maddie, cheated on by Maddie, and left at the damn altar by Maddie, so she could run off into the sunset with her childhood best friend. Thus resulting in a broken heart, a lot of empty shot glasses and bottles, Shawn getting drunk, causing a fight at a club, breaking someone’s nose, and then driving his car, while drunk, into a tree, having to either do jail time or forty two days of community service. </p><p>Which is…still a lot, and not at all what she expected.</p><p>Shawn got his heart broken, publicly, and then dealt with it very badly, but not intentionally for the public to know. And just when he’s clearly doing good…she pops back up.</p><p>Quinn thinks of what Mrs. Goldman told her weeks ago.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>If I remember correctly, you knew what heartbreak felt like not too long ago.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>He needs something to distract him from that heavy heart.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You found your distraction here. Why can’t he?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Head in her hands, guilt continues to seep throughout her body.</p><p>She’s spent all this time trying to avoid getting to know him, all this time treating him like an outsider, acting like he’d never fit in at school.</p><p>Yet, when she needed him, he was there. He’s been nothing but nice to her, and she’s been a total bitch from the start, regardless of the progress they’ve made. </p><p>They’re <em>friends</em>, but Quinn’s still been a very shitty one. </p><p>Hypocritical. That’s what she is. </p><p>Because Mrs. Goldman was right. <em>Is</em> right. Quinn knows exactly what Shawn’s been through, knows exactly what he’s feeling, because she’s been through the heartbreak hotel before herself.</p><p>Shawn has Maddie.</p><p>And Quinn has Adrian.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shawn had an unusual pep in his step when he entered the school, two coffee cups in his hands and a bag of his mom’s saltine cracker toffee in his backpack to share with Quinn.</p><p>He swung by the office first to clock in, met with the bright smile of Mrs. Goldman.</p><p>“Good morning, Mrs. G.” He greets, putting the coffee cups down on the front desk counter while he grabs his staff ID to clock in.</p><p>“Morning Shawn,” She greets in turn. “You’re about half way done with us, how’s it feel?”</p><p>Shawn paused. “I am?”</p><p>She kept her smile, but looked at him curiously. “You’re only with us for forty two days, Shawn. That completes the thousand hours you need for your community service.”</p><p>“So…I just leave afterward?” He asks, swiping his ID on the card reader.</p><p>She nods. “That’s usually how volunteer teachers work, yes. Quinn and I complete your paperwork, send it to the judge and your lawyers, and then you’re done.”</p><p>He doesn’t even hesitate to ask “Well, would I be able to just finish out the year?” At Melodie’s pause, Shawn continues, pocketing his ID. “I just…it would be weird, wouldn’t it? To leave after the first semester, and not come back. Unless you already have a replacement teacher?”</p><p>Mrs. Goldman shakes her head, but comes around the front desk to stand in front of Shawn, hands on her hips. “Would you really want to stay, Shawn?”</p><p>He nods. “I like it. It’s different from what I normally do, and I think the kids deserve more than just a small semester of music education.”</p><p>She nods slowly, but he can sense her hesitation. “And what about next year? No popstar duties for you to attend to?”</p><p>Shawn shakes his head honestly. “No. Not right now. I meant to take a break after…well, after my wedding, and that didn’t happen, but my plans to take a break for awhile are still there. So I figured I could stick around, and maybe when it’s time for me to step out, I’d find a decent replacement teacher, so the music program can stick.”</p><p>Mrs. Goldman is quiet for a few moments as she observes him, but sighs. “I’m not going to lie and pretend we don’t need the help, or that we wouldn’t appreciate a steady music program for once. But only if you don’t lie to me when I ask you this.” She steps closer, lowering her voice and crossing her arms over her chest. “You wanting to stay doesn’t have anything to do with a certain third grade teacher, now does it?”</p><p>“Mrs. Dobson and I are just friends.”</p><p>Melodie rolls her eyes, smacking Shawn lightly on the arm. “You know what I mean, boy. Is this for Quinn? Or for the kids.”</p><p>“For the kids.” Shawn insists. “But I won’t lie and say Quinn doesn’t have a small hand in it either.”</p><p>“I thought so.” She says. “I figured you two would gravitate toward each other.”</p><p>“We are just friends though,” Shawn says, grabbing the coffee cups from the front desk counter. “Quinn and I, I mean.”</p><p>“That doesn’t mean you don’t like her.”</p><p>Shawn blushes. “Dating co-workers is against the rules, according to the employee handbook.”</p><p>“I never said anything about dating her.” Mrs. Goldman says, a teasing smile on her lips. “But you don’t see Adam and Marlene paying attention to that rule, either.”</p><p>“I knew it!” Shawn exclaims. “I knew there was something going on.”</p><p>“And I know something’s going on with you and Quinn.” She says. “Where’d you two go, after the gallery?”</p><p>“Just for some frozen yogurt.” He says. “Quinn and I ducked out after I ran into an old friend.”</p><p>“Your ex, I assume?” At Shawn’s confused face, Mrs. Goldman smiles. “Quinn filled me in when she got here this morning. You two have more in common than you think, you know. You could almost call it kindred spirits.”</p><p>Shawn raises a brow. “How do you mean?”</p><p>“You sing about heartbreak, don’t you?” She asks. When Shawn nods, she gestures her head down the hall. “Quinn knows a thing or two about heartbreak. Maybe when the time is right, she’ll fill you in.”</p><p>Shawn frowns. Quinn never mentioned anything about a past heartbreak, or an ex boyfriend, or an ex anything. She did correct him when he called her “Mrs. Agbayani,” though. That, he distinctly remembers.</p><p>He bids goodbye to Mrs. Goldman then heads down the hall toward his classroom. He turns all the lights and fans on, then drops his cup of coffee off at his desk, shrugging off his backpack before heading to Quinn’s classroom.</p><p>When he gets there, he finds Quinn putting out the little bags of sand and mason jars he’d helped her decorate the weekend he came to help her set up. Each student gets their own, and Quinn figured it would be a good way to show them the different levels of the ocean, having them paint the jars at different points to represent those levels and habitats.</p><p>She was a thorough teacher, if anything else.</p><p>She smiles at him when he enters, grabbing the Starbucks cup from his hands before he can even start to take off his shoes.</p><p>“You’re a lifesaver.” She says, taking what Shawn can tell is a much needed sip of her cinnamon dolce latte.</p><p>He shrugs. “I try.”</p><p>“So, you’re almost out of here.” She says, placing her cup down at her desk. “How does it feel?”</p><p>Shawn frowns. “Why is everyone saying that this morning, you guys want me out already?”</p><p>Quinn raises a brow. “No, but I figured you might. And who’s ‘everyone?’”</p><p>“Mrs. G brought it up just now when I clocked in.” He sighs, taking a seat at Quinn’s desk.</p><p>“And? You want to stay, or something?”</p><p>“The first one.” He says, and Quinn’s eyes widen a little.</p><p>“You <em>want</em> to stay?” She asks, incredulous. “Since when?”</p><p>“I just don’t think it’s fair on the kids to have a small semester of a decent music program and then have nothing else.”</p><p>“Who said you were decent?”</p><p>Shawn narrows his eyes. “<em>Quinn</em>.”</p><p>She giggles. “Alright alright, sorry. Serious conversation, okay. So say you do stay, then what? Don’t you have other commitments?”</p><p>Shawn shakes his head. “I made plans to take a break from music anyway.” He says. “It was mainly for the honeymoon, but I figured those plans are still plans, so why not use my free time to do something good?”</p><p>“Because you were sentenced to one thousand hours of good?”</p><p>“Why can’t it be ten thousand?”</p><p>Quinn pauses, looking at Shawn seriously. “You <em>actually</em> want to stay and be the music teacher at Littlewood?”</p><p>“What can I say?” He says, holding his hands up. “I’m attached to the kids.”</p><p>She purses her lips, clearly not fully believing him, but nods. “Alright. So say you stay, what’s your plan afterward?”</p><p>“I already did this with Mrs. Goldman.” He says. “If I tell you do I also have to tell every other teacher?”</p><p>“Well considering I sign your service hour worksheet, I think filling me in on this plan of yours would help, so yeah. Me at least, if not everyone else.”</p><p>Shawn sighs. “I stay for as long as I can, and if needed, as long as you need me. Whenever it’s time to go, I’ll be in charge of getting a new music teacher to keep the program afloat, and I know it’ll stay afloat because I’m head of the department.” Quinn raises a brow to refute him, but at the serious look in Shawn’s eyes, she stays quiet. “It’s a good plan, Quinn, and you can’t deny the kids won’t love it. And that Littlewood doesn’t need it.”</p><p>He can see her considering it when her Apple Watch vibrates and lights up on her wrist, signaling the impending arrival of the students.</p><p>“You think about it.” He says. “You and Melodie, and then you let me know once my community service is up. It’s not even like you need to pay me-”</p><p>“Legally we do.”</p><p>“Then I’ll <em>legally</em> give it back to the school as a donation.” He fires back. “You don’t need to pay me, I’ll work here for free, or for more community service hours, I don’t care. I like this job.”</p><p>“You’d rather be doing this than touring in different countries, playing to sold out stadiums and arenas every night?”</p><p>Shawn shrugs. “I’m in the music business to make people happy. This makes me happy, so I’m still in business.” He points to the cluster of desks, and looks at Quinn. “You keep decorating, I’ll come grab the kids at ten.”</p><p>“Shawn-”</p><p>“Just think about it, okay Quinn?” He pleads. “I thought forty two days was a long time, but it’s not, and I want to be here for more than forty two days. This job is the best thing to happen to me in awhile, and I intend to keep it.”</p><p>-</p><p>When he comes by to grab the students at ten, there’s a look on Quinn’s face that Shawn can’t quite place. She looks like she’s zoned off, out in the distance. The kids seem pretty eager to get to music, so Shawn ushers them down the hall toward the classroom.</p><p>“Hey kids,” he says, walking backwards to face them. “Is Miss A okay? She looked a little sad.”</p><p>One of the boys, Jamie, shakes his head. “Mr. Pell came by when we were coloring our jars. He said Miss A’s friend Max was here to see her. She was happy when she went to the office, but when she came back she was like that. I think he made her mad.”</p><p>“No!” Elena said. “Miss A said Max is nice.”</p><p>“If he’s so nice,” Robin says, “Why was Miss A so quiet when she came back?”</p><p>“You’re her friend, aren’t you Mr. Mendes?” Allison asks from the front of the group. “Maybe you can cheer her up.”</p><p>He holds the door open to the music class, allowing the students to file in. “I’ll try my best,” he promises. “I’ll try my best.”</p><p>-</p><p>Later that afternoon, Shawn waits for the last student in Quinn’s class to leave before he heads into her classroom, taking a seat at her desk while she tidies up.</p><p>“If you’re here about staying for longer than your forty two days,” She says, not looking at him. “I still have to work out the details with Mrs. Goldman, so we haven’t come to a decision yet.”</p><p>“But you’ve talked about it?” He asks.</p><p>She turns, arms cradling extra jars. “We discussed it briefly during my admin time, yes. But we can’t give you a definite answer right now.”</p><p>He nods. “Alright, then maybe you can give me an explanation about what made you so upset earlier?”</p><p>There’s a flash of recognition behind her eyes, a memory, but Shawn sees when she tries to push it away. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>“The kids said Max came by to visit.”</p><p>Quinn stops in her tracks, one of the jars falling to the carpet with a soft thud. She stares at Shawn, searching for an explanation to give him. “The kids told you that?”</p><p>“You looked upset when I picked them up, so I asked if you were okay and they told me.”</p><p>“Those little snitches.” She says, crinkling her nose.</p><p>Shawn sighs. “Quinn. What was he here about? Did he get mad at you for leaving the gallery early? Was he mad about me?”</p><p>Quinn stares at him in confusion. “What? No. No, it was neither of those things. He just…he came by to tell me an old friend of ours was in town. I didn’t take the news very well, is all.”</p><p>There’s something about the way she says it that has Shawn sitting upright in her desk chair, carefully forming his words so she’ll let him in. “You know, earlier when I talked to Mrs. G about staying, she said something to me.”</p><p>“Oh?” Quinn asks, turning her back to him to place the extra jars on a shelf. “What was that?”</p><p>“She mentioned that you told her about how we ran into Maddie at Max’s gallery. About how you knew a thing or two about heartbreak yourself.”</p><p>This time, when Quinn drops a glass, it shatters on the carpet, and Quinn’s cursing, bending to pick up the pieces. Shawn’s out of her seat and by her side in seconds, grabbing her hands before she can touch the glass.</p><p>She won’t look at him, but Shawn tugs on her hands. “Quinn. That friend of yours that Max said was in town. It’s your ex boyfriend, isn’t it?”</p><p>“His name is Adrian.” She says. “And he’s not just my ex boyfriend. He’s my ex fiance.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So um…this chapter is 17 google doc pages long… so… yeah. have fun with that</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She went to college in the states. Figured it would be easier than staying in Toronto, and she definitely didn’t want to go to U of T with all the kids who didn’t give a shit about her in high school and were never nice to her.</p><p>Buffalo, New York was the closest, but she didn’t want to feel like she could run home the minute things got difficult. So she went a little further down the road to Syracuse for her Bachelor’s in Selected Studies in Education, and a Minor in Education.</p><p>Her first class on her first day found her in Art History.</p><p>She chose a seat in the third row in the center of the room, figuring it was still close enough for notes and lectures but far enough that she wouldn’t be called on constantly (she just had that face.)</p><p>There, she met Max.</p><p>A minute before class was ready to start, he rushed in, saying a loud goodbye to his friends who were in the hall. He had only his phone in one hand and a smoothie in the other - usual syllabus week sights - and took the seat right in front of her.</p><p>When the professor came in, he began unpacking his things to set up for the lecture and sent the attendance sheet around in the meantime. </p><p>Max turned right around and gave her a bright smile - one that reminded her suspiciously of Stiles Stillinski - and whispered, “Do you have a pen I could borrow? For the attendance sheet?”</p><p>“Yeah,” she murmured, digging out her pencil case and handing him a pen. He signed the attendance sheet before passing it along to the person next to him, then turned back to Quinn. </p><p>“This pen is really nice. Where’d you get it?”</p><p>“I ordered it online.” She says. “From this company on Instagram.”</p><p>“JetPens?!” He exclaimed quietly.</p><p>Quinn nodded, smiling. “Yeah, you follow them?”</p><p>“I love them! I’ve always wanted to order their stuff!”</p><p>“Me too!” She agreed quietly, apologizing when the girl next to her dropped the attendance sheet down, tired of waiting for her to take it.</p><p>As Quinn finished signing, she passed it along to the person next to her, and when she looked back up at Max, he was already smiling at her.</p><p>“What’s your name?”</p><p>“Quinn, Quinn Agbayani.”</p><p>He extended his hand, and she took it, shaking it politely. “Quinn, I’m Max, and I think we’re going to be really good friends.”</p><p>Like clockwork every Monday and Wednesday, Max would take his normal seat in front of her and always asked her to borrow a pen or copy her worksheets if he failed to finish his. Quinn learned that Max was an art major from California, and was a genius at anything to do with art, but often just didn’t do the work.</p><p>They clicked well as friends, and he even convinced her to take Human Sexuality the following semester. </p><p>Quinn admittedly thought he was cute, funny, and charming, and their friendship helped her become more confident and brought her out of her shell. As the semester progressed, Max would come by her dorm and spend time with her and her roommate, Sam, and the three of them would go out together, hang out together, eat together, eventually integrating in other friends that Max would bring into their circle. </p><p>One day during their second semester, Max got sick due to a recent winter storm and wasn’t in classes. Quinn felt bad, so she promised that right after her morning classes were done to bring him a copy of her notes and homework as well as some of the soup he liked from the dining hall. In retrospect a small part of her was doing it because she liked him, and wanted to impress him in hopes he’d like her back.</p><p>In the course of their first year together, Quinn hadn’t actually ever been to Max’s dorm. He said he lived there with his childhood best friend who was in the Army ROTC program, and he had an odd schedule that Max didn’t want to disturb, so they always hung out at Sam and Quinn’s room.</p><p>She momentarily forgot about Adrian, until she knocked on their door, and he opened it.</p><p>And she felt like she wanted the floor to swallow her whole.</p><p>All feelings she thought she may have had for Max were gone. Null and voice and replaced with utter adoration for the boy standing in front of her in that moment.</p><p>Adrian was handsome. Extremely so. Brown hair, hazel eyes - definitely not the first pretty white boy she’d ever seen, given Max and boys from high school - but he was the only one she desperately wanted to simultaneously admire from afar and make out with until her lips were bruised and she lost her breath.</p><p>She was dressed in leggings, her favorite Syracuse hoodie, and winter coat, her curls in a messy bun atop her head, glasses on her nose, and her old worn out Blundstone boots covering fluffy socks.</p><p>Had it been just Max, it would’ve been fine, but the minute she saw Adrian’s face, she wished she would’ve dressed a little better, or less like a child.</p><p>“Hi,” she stammered. “I uh, I have stuff for Max?”</p><p>“Quinnie?” Max’s rough voice had called from inside. “Is that you?”</p><p>Adrian smiled, leaning against the door frame in a way Quinn had only seen in movies. She nearly swooned, and Max later told her he could see her pining from where he laid in his bed.</p><p>“You must be the famous Quinn.” Adrian said. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Adrian, Max’s keeper.”</p><p>Quinn giggled while Max protested weakly from his bed. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”</p><p>Adrian gestured for her to come into the room, and Quinn followed, toeing off her boots near the door after he shut it behind her. </p><p>“Quinnie!” Max cried dramatically. “You’re the best!”</p><p>She shook her head, placing the container of soup on his desk along with the little tub of Vicks she’d brought from her own medicine cabinet. She shook her backpack off, grabbing the notes and placing them on his notebooks, then going to sit on Max’s bed, feeling his forehead. </p><p>“Oh Max,” she said. “Why were you out in the snow anyway?”</p><p>“Snowboarding down library hill.” He exclaimed. </p><p>Adrian rolled his eyes from where he sat at his desk, facing them both. “In your underwear, you asshat.”</p><p>Max ignored him. “Thank you Quinn, for the soup and notes.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.” She said. “Did you want me and Sam to bring you dinner tonight?”</p><p>Max smiled, grabbed her hand and kissed it. “Would you marry me already?”</p><p>Quinn flushed, shaking her head with a small smile. “Maybe after we graduate.”</p><p>Adrian mock-gagged from his chair. </p><p>“Oh you shut the fuck up,” Max said. “You’re just mad because none of the girls you hang out with actually like you.”</p><p>“I like you.” Quinn said casually. The words were out of her mouth before she could even think about it, but she didn’t miss the huge smile that crossed Adrian’s features. </p><p>Max fake gasped, yanking her arm and tugging her dramatically into his embrace. “No, you’re not allowed to like him, he’s not our friend!”</p><p>Quinn hung around for the next couple of hours, feeding Max soup and reading over her notes, sometimes making small talk with Adrian while Max copied her homework.</p><p>Max fell asleep eventually, the Vicks on his chest helping him breathe and the medication he got from health services finally kicking in, and Quinn started to pack up her things to leave.</p><p>“Going so soon?”</p><p>Quinn paused in her movements, looking at Adrian. She smiled sweetly. “I do have some studying to do.”</p><p>“You can stay and do it here, if you’d like.” Adrian offered. “Or, I don’t mind buying you a coffee, maybe tagging along if you wanted to study at the library.”</p><p>She paused, trying to remember Max’s constant advice of taking risks and being more confident in herself. </p><p>Hoping that her voice wasn’t shaking, she shrugged, putting her coat on. “I could go for a coffee, sure.”</p><p>Adrian’s eyes widened a little, but he ended up smiling, standing as well. “Do you like Starbucks?”</p><p>Quinn nods. “Who doesn’t?”</p><p>They got dressed and Adrian brought his laptop, agreeing to study with her at Starbucks to let Max get some rest. </p><p>They ordered their drinks and Quinn got a brownie to eat along with a slice of iced lemon pound cake for Sam, and the two of them settled in at a table. They chatted for a while about their studies, Adrian as a Business major and Quinn in Education. They talked about their roommates and friends they’d made so far at college, and even discussed growing up in their hometowns.</p><p>Eventually, Adrian grabbed a refill on their drinks before they finally broke out the books to study. Quinn was just about done with her paper when she saw Adrian peeking up at her from over the screen of her laptop, blushing and looking away every time he’d been caught. </p><p>Quinn found herself doing the same thing eventually, getting caught only to find he was already looking at her. </p><p>“Can I help you with something?” She asked.</p><p>Adrian cleared his throat and shook his head. “No, I was just looking at you.”</p><p>“Care to tell me why?”</p><p>He shut his laptop screen and leaned forward on his arms, lowering his voice as a smirk lined his features. “Because you’re pretty, you’re obviously smart, and you’re ignoring me so you’re obviously my type.”</p><p>Quinn looks at him for a second before looking right back at her screen. “Does quoting social media trends usually work on girls for you?”</p><p>“Sometimes.” He shrugs. “Depends on if they fall for it.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” She fires back, shutting her laptop.</p><p>Recognition flashes in his eyes and he smiles. “My kind of girl.” He teases.</p><p>“I won’t be your kind of anything if you touch that brownie.”</p><p>His hand froze mid air from where it was about to rip off a piece of Quinn’s brownie, retreating back to his side of the table. She shook her head with a laugh, putting the brownie back into the treat back before putting it and her laptop in her backpack. </p><p>She stood, getting ready to leave when Adrian looked up at her sadly.</p><p>“Does this mean we can’t be friends?”</p><p>Quinn smirked, grabbing her cup and slinging her bag over her shoulder. “We’re not gonna be just friends.”</p><p>Later that night, as she was getting ready for bed, a string of texts from Max lit up her phone.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>who are you and what have you done with quinn?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>adrian says you were FLIRTING WITH HIM</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO FLIRT CHILD</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>regardless, he asked for your number</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I gave it to him</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>reluctantly</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>HE QUOTED TIK TOK AT YOU</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>AND YOU QUOTED IT BACK YOU MONSTER</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>im going to be best man at the wedding and godfather to all of your children do you hear me</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>you realize hes going to be in the army right</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>i know youre canadian so you dont understand but ALL ARMY MEN WANT IN AMERICA IS A WIFE</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>HES NOT CAPTAIN AMERICA YOU KNOW, I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THAT POPSICLE</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>YOURE NOT EVEN HIS GIRLFRIEND YET BUT YOURE HIS FIANCE ALREADY</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>he wont shut the fuck up about you</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>QUINN I KNOW YOURE READING THESE ANSWER ME</em>
  </b>
</p><p>She laughed, grabbing her phone to reply.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Max its not even like that, I just think he’s cute</em>
  </b>
</p><p>His reply came seconds later.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>DONT YOU LIE TO ME</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>hes into you</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>and you’re into him</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>okay okay spoilers but hes gonna ask you on a date</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>YOU GUYS ARE MOVING SO FAST</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>not like ‘oh let me get your next meal at the dining hall’</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>hes googling fucking RESTAURANTS</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>if you say yes to this date you make his pockets hurt do you understand me</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Quinn laughed out loud, covering her mouth instantly when she remembered Sam was already asleep.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I’ll keep you posted if I hear from him</em>
  </b>
</p><p>-</p><p>Eventually one date turned into two, and two turned into three, and before Quinn blinked she suddenly had a boyfriend.</p><p>Her first real boyfriend.</p><p>Adrian was everything she’d hoped for, everything her mother told her to find in a man, everything she’d ever dreamed of having.</p><p>He was charming, sweet, funny, romantic, caring, kind, and attentive. He would sometimes walk her to class if he had the time, would take her out to do something off campus at least once a week, and always made sure she was comfortable with the things they did once they got comfortable enough to be intimate.</p><p>Quinn wasn’t a virgin when she met Adrian, having lost it to her high school crush at sixteen, but she was still inexperienced. Adrian took that into consideration and took his time with her. He went so far as to plan out an entire date and book a hotel room so that she was comfortable for their first night together, saying it was because she deserved more than a hookup in a college dorm room.</p><p>He cared about her aspirations to become a teacher and always made sure she wasn’t feeling stressed about school work. As a student in ROTC he often had most of his day taken up, but every free minute Adrian had, he spent it with Quinn. Sometimes, Quinn, Max, Adrian, Sam, and some of their other friends would all go out together, whether out clubbing, out to the dining hall, or hanging out in general, and Quinn loved how much Adrian fit right into the little circle they had.</p><p>Separating for the summer was hard on both of them. Quinn realized she’d fallen for him, and fast, and Adrian was going back to California, miles away from Syracuse and Toronto. </p><p>She was sad to say goodbye to both Adrian and Max on the day they moved out, both of them flying home together. She cried when she had to say goodbye to Sam, even though they’d be living together the following year anyway. </p><p>Quinn returned to her childhood home in Toronto, getting a summer job at a local summer camp and tried her best to get through it all without missing Adrian too much.</p><p>But then she didn’t have to.</p><p>When camp ended, Max, Adrian, and Sam flew to Toronto to surprise her. Quinn introduced her family to Adrian, who loved him instantly. Having already met Max and Sam through family FaceTimes, her mother figured that as long as her friends approved, since they hung around her so much, Adrian had to be a nice guy. Quinn’s mother also knew how protective Max had become of Quinn, and knew he’d step in for her if necessary.</p><p>That summer, the four of them ended up renting a cabin for a week out in Vancouver. </p><p>It was an amazing time, and probably her favorite memory of back then.</p><p>That was also the first time Adrian had said “I love you,” doing so as they sat by themselves in front of the bonfire in the backyard, holding her close to him and pressing a kiss to her forehead. Quinn managed not to cry as she said it back.</p><p>Later in the summer, she ended up flying to California to visit Adrian and Max, meeting both their families and staying at Adrian’s house.</p><p>Adrian’s father approved, and his sisters and nieces and nephews also loved her. His mother liked Quinn, but worried about how shy she was, and whether or not she’d be able to be with someone as outgoing as Adrian. But when she saw how Quinn acted once she felt comfortable around people, she knew Adrian had found the right person.</p><p>That fall semester in their sophomore term, when they returned to Syracuse, they’d all become closer than ever.</p><p>Max and Adrian ended up on the same floor as Quinn and Sam, and a few of their friends ended up in the same hall, or on a different floor.</p><p>Quinn started to come out of her shell a bit more, still studious as ever, but took Max’s advice every now and again to “live a little,” and have fun.</p><p>As winter break approached, Adrian told Quinn that he had something important planned, and to reserve the weekend before break was supposed to start for the two of them. He told her to pack a bag for a hotel stay at a weekend, and to make sure to pack a nice outfit.</p><p>Quinn did so diligently, and when the time came, she met Adrian in the parking lot, and off they went.</p><p>He planned a fancy dinner and took her downtown to look at the Christmas decorations, and to attend the tree lighting ceremony. They got ice cream and hot chocolate before heading back to the hotel, where Adrian took his time with her, telling her how much he loved her and how lucky he was to have found her. </p><p>After, he ran her a bubble bath in the hotel tub, rose petals scattered among the water and suds. </p><p>Quinn felt like she was in a fairytale, in total disbelief of her luck and how perfect Adrian was.</p><p>When he came in to join her, he was shirtless, clad in his boxer briefs, hiding something behind his back.</p><p>And then, he came up beside the tub, and got down on one knee. </p><p>“Quinn Agbayani, I know it might be too soon, but I don’t think I’ll ever get this chance again with another woman. You can say no, and you can say not right now, but I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, you’d marry-”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>The words were out of her mouth so fast, and she nearly lept out of the tub to hug him, wanting to be as close to him as possible.</p><p>When Max found out, he nearly lept at both of them, and Quinn was pretty sure he was close to crying. </p><p>“I can’t believe it.” He said. “My childhood best friend and my college best friend. I feel like I’m more happy about this than you both are!”</p><p>-</p><p>As college went on, things with Quinn and Adrian progressed smoothly.</p><p>Adrian, Max, Quinn, and Sam ended up renting a three bedroom apartment together in their junior year. Adrian and Quinn stayed in one room, while Max and Sam had their own room. </p><p>At the beginning of their senior year, Sam moved out to live in her sorority house with her sisters, since it was closer to campus and she’d got stuck with 8am classes for the year, and another person in their friend group, Ashely, moved into Sam’s room. </p><p>Quinn liked Ashley well enough. They got along well even though they didn’t hang out much outside their circle of friends, but she was nice and paid rent on time, so it worked out. </p><p>Max also had the biggest crush on her, and clearly Ashley felt the same, so Quinn and Max tried to ignore it whenever Max would try to subtly sneak into Ashley’s room some nights. After two weeks of sneaking around, Max and Ashley ended up agreeing to be exclusive about the fact that they were sleeping with one another, but not completely serious.</p><p>“The no-sex-on-the-couch-or-in-any-common-living-space rule still stands.” Adrian reminded them.</p><p>Right before spring semester of their senior year, Quinn eventually ended up getting an internship at a nearby middle school to be a teacher’s assistant. She would mostly go in during the afternoons after her classes, helping out with afternoon teachers to clean up after their students had left and also helping them prepare lesson plans for the following day. Most of it was making copies of worksheets, making sure supplies were where they needed to be, gathering any of the forms students needed to take home to their parents, but Quinn didn’t mind.</p><p>Sometimes she worked later than most nights, which meant less time spent with Adrian, and even his schedule with ROTC increased as well. Their schedules, usually aligning with each other, this time were offset, and most nights when Quinn would come home, Adrian was either already asleep, or still out, and they didn’t have much time to themselves. It definitely put a strain on their relationship, having to fight to find time to spend with one another, but Quinn thought they were managing okay.</p><p>Things got rocky with Max and Ashley when Max suspected her of sleeping with someone else behind his back. They may not have been dating, but most people around them knew they were only exclusively sleeping with each other, so it was putting a strain on them, too.</p><p>The apartment became tense. If it wasn’t Max and Ashley fighting, it was Quinn and Adrian, and it seemed like neither couple could get peace and quiet.</p><p>At one point, Quinn’s car broke down, and Adrian felt safer with one of them driving her, as opposed to her taking an Uber or Lyft, so she relied on Adrian and Max to help her get to and from her internship. </p><p>One evening, Adrian never showed to pick her up. She considered just ordering an Uber, but they’d already been fighting that morning, so she didn’t want to cause another, especially on the off chance that he was just running late.</p><p>But when an hour passed and Quinn was still at the middle school, she caved. She called Max, who she knew would be finishing his evening class, and asked him to come and get her.</p><p>“He forgot?” Max asked, incredulous. “When does he ever forget?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Quinn had said. “I mean we were fighting this morning, so-”</p><p>“That doesn’t mean he just refuses to pick you up, though, Quinnie.” Max said. “Are you safe? Are you inside the school?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m in the classroom. I’ve gone to the front and side doors where he usually comes to get me at least five times now and he’s not there. And he usually texts me when he’s here, and he’s not.”</p><p>“I’m coming to get you. I’m leaving campus right now. Stay inside and don’t come out until I call you, okay?”</p><p>“Okay, Max.”</p><p>Quinn waited another twenty minutes when Max showed up, and the minute she got in the car, she could tell he was upset.</p><p>“Max, it’s not-”</p><p>“Don’t make excuses for him, Quinn.” Max said. “He can’t just leave you here without any explanation. He’s your fucking <em><b>fiance</b></em>. What happened when you called?”</p><p>“It went right to voicemail.”</p><p>“Well I know for a fact he doesn’t have any classes or ROTC shit tonight, so he should’ve been here.” Max said, seething. “I tried calling him too, it went to voicemail for me. I left him some very colorful voicemails to have if he ever decides to listen to them.”</p><p>Quinn feels this terrible twist in her gut, but she can’t ignore the anger in Max’s voice. “You’re fighting with Ashely, too, then?”</p><p>He sighed, taking a small glance at Quinn to make sure she was alright before turning his eyes back to the road. “Yeah. I caught her on the phone yesterday while you guys were in class. She sounded like she was talking to some dude, but she wouldn’t say anything when I confronted her. I know we’re not dating but…she should at least tell me if she’s sleeping with someone else, so that I can just end it. I respect it if she’s not monogamous, but I am, and she should at least respect that.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Max,” was all she could say. She’d never been in his situation before. “That sucks.”</p><p>“What’s going to suck is how hard I’m going to punch your fiance when we get home.”</p><p>The rest of the ride was silent, save for Max’s radio.</p><p>When they pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex, Max was seething to find Adrian’s car parked in its usual spot, and Quinn braced herself for the oncoming fight she knew she couldn’t prevent. She’d only ever seen Max angry like this once before, when a guy wouldn’t stop hitting on Sam at a party, and Quinn’s pretty sure Max broke that guy’s nose.</p><p>He was teeming with anger as the elevator creeped up to their floor, and Quinn knew there was no stopping it. She was also pretty angry with Adrian, but still, she didn’t want to make things worse, and this was bound to do just that.</p><p>Max all but burst into the apartment once he got the door unlocked, and he had every expletive on the tip of his tongue when he heard it.</p><p>Or when he heard <em>them</em>.</p><p>He heard Ashley first, recognizing her all too familiar moans, and then he heard Adrian, recognizing his voice.</p><p>“You like that, baby?”</p><p>Quinn could hear her heart shatter in her chest as she stood in the doorway of their apartment, frozen to her spot. The room spun, and her head felt fuzzy.</p><p>Max barged into Adrian and Quinn’s shared room and found them in a compromising position, leaving no doubt as to what they were doing. </p><p>She doesn’t remember what happened next, too caught up in the pounding in her chest and trying to wish the pain away in her head, wishing what was happening wasn’t actually real.</p><p><b><em>She was in our bed.</em></b> Quinn thought. <b><em>The whole time. In our bed…where we sleep.</em></b></p><p>The next thing she knew, Max was in her face, blocking Adrian from her and trying to usher her out the door.</p><p>“Quinnie? Quinnie c’mon, we need to leave. We’re leaving.”</p><p>She could hear Adrian yelling. </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Why was he yelling?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Max yelled at him to shut up.</p><p>“Max, I-”</p><p>“We’ve got to go, Quinn, I’ve got your stuff right here, see?” Max said, holding up her backpack. He had his own backpack already over his shoulders, and over them Quinn could see Adrian and Ashley. </p><p>Ashley had her arms wrapped around her, Quinn and Adrian’s sheets covering her naked torso. Adrian was trying to get past Max, but knew if he got too close, Max would swing. </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Is there blood coming out of his nose? Did Max hit him?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>“Quinn!” Max exclaimed, and her eyes snapped to his. His expression softened as he finally managed to push her backward, slamming the door shut behind him. “Let’s go. We’re leaving, now.”</p><p>“Where are we going?” She remembers asking as he escorted her into the elevator quickly.</p><p>“I’m going to call Sam. We’re going to stay with her tonight, okay? Tomorrow’s Friday. You don’t have any classes or your internship, right?” Quinn shook her head ‘no.’ “Okay, then tomorrow, you stay with Sam, and I’m coming back here to pack our shit. We’re not living with those two, not in that space.”</p><p>“Where are we going to stay?” </p><p>“With Devin.” Max said, referring to one of Max’s buddies. “Devin has an extra room at his place. We’ll stay there for the rest of the year.”</p><p>“But-”</p><p>“I’m sorry Quinn,” Max said, tears streaming down his face. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>-</p><p>Quinn ended up moving into Sam’s room at her sorority house. Max moved in with his friend Devin.</p><p>After the first night, Sam (along with her sorority sisters) consoled Quinn while Max wracked his brain for what to do next. Sam skipped classes to keep Quinn company while Max and Devin went back to the apartment, gathering their belongings while Adrian and Ashley were in class.</p><p>It was a pain in the ass to take Max and Quinn’s names off the lease, but Max found a way around it, ridding them of Adrian and Ashley for good.</p><p>The future that Quinn had planned was no longer a thing, and uncertainty loomed on the horizon. </p><p>She moved robotically throughout the rest of the semester, not saying a word when Sam and Max insisted on remaining by her side, keeping her away from Adrian and making sure he never got the chance to speak to her, or begin to apologize.</p><p>She saw him, once, but Max was with her, and wouldn’t let Adrian get within six feet of her. “She doesn’t want to see you, asshole.”</p><p>“Max, please, I just want the chance to explain-”</p><p>“There’s nothing to explain!” Max said, drawing the attention of other students nearby. “You know what you did, and so does Quinn. You can’t talk your way out of this.”</p><p>“Quinn!” Adrian called. She made the mistake of looking at him, because when she did, Adrian broke free, and ran to her. “Quinn, please. Please, just give me the chance to explain myself, give me five minutes and I promise I can-”</p><p>“Promise what?” Quinn said quietly, looking up at him. “Promise you didn’t mean it? That it was a mistake?” She shook her head. “I don’t care. Max is right. It’s already been done.”</p><p>Adrian shook his head, but Quinn wouldn’t let him protest any further. Her hands didn’t shake when she took off her engagement ring, taking Adrian’s hand and placing it in his open palm.</p><p>“There.” She said. “Give it to Ashley. Or whoever else you’re with. It’s clearly not for me anymore.”</p><p>Max pulled Quinn away at that point, keeping a protective arm around her as he ushered her away. </p><p>It took everything in her not to look back.</p><p>Quinn didn’t want to be in Syracuse anymore, and felt her time in the states wasn’t going to work out after all, so she changed her plans and decided to go home.</p><p>She applied for her Master’s in Teaching at U of T, and when she got in, she knew she’d be going home to Toronto, leaving her past behind her.</p><p>But Max wouldn’t let her get away that easy.</p><p>He definitely felt responsible for what happened with Adrian, even though Quinn told him time and time again that it wasn’t his fault. But he wouldn’t hear it.</p><p>Max followed her to Toronto, taking a job at the Gardiner Museum and getting into the Art History Master’s program at U of T. His mom, a realtor, used her connections to help them find a place near school and Quinn moved in with him temporarily, not ready to deal with her family’s reaction to the break up, until she was able to afford a place on her own.</p><p>Max helped keep her sane as she tried tirelessly to finish her degree.</p><p>Financial aid only helped cover so much, even with room and board not a factor, so Quinn knew she needed more than just a measly internship to make ends meet. </p><p>She went to the only place she could think of - her old middle school, Littlewood Academy. The principal, Mrs. Goldman, who’d been there since Quinn was 8, remembered her, and gave Quinn a job as a teacher’s assistant to Marlene Rosa, who was in her third year of teaching there.</p><p>She saved every dime she had, and in her second year at Littlewood, the school district took a turn. A handful of teachers quit, saying they didn’t want to waste their capabilities as a teacher on “students like those” at Littlewood, and Mrs. Goldman, desperate to keep the school alive and give those kids the best education they could receive, hired Quinn.</p><p>At the end of her second year, Quinn earned her Master’s, but never took a break, or went on vacation to celebrate her victories. She went right to work at Littlewood, creating a curriculum that would benefit her children, all the while earning enough to be able to afford her own place. </p><p>She was eventually able to move out on her own, and Max helped, making sure she got settled in, and checked in on her once a week to make sure she was doing okay.</p><p>She knew it was hard for him too, letting Adrian go, having been best friends since they were kids, but Max assured her he was doing fine, and not to worry about him.</p><p>As time passed, Max earned his degree and kept his job at the Gardiner Museum, working hard to be able to open his own gallery to feature local artists and small businesses.</p><p>Quinn poured her heart and soul into her class at school, keeping herself occupied with curriculum and activities at the school, immersing herself into anything that kept her distracted from her broken heart.</p><p>She managed to move on, eventually, but it took Littlewood distracting her from her broken heart to make her finally come out okay on the other side. </p><p>She eventually forgot about Adrian, forgot about love, forgot about how lonely she felt each time she went home to an empty apartment. Sometimes she thought maybe moving out of Max’s place wasn’t the best idea, but she knew he needed his own private space, too.</p><p>Sometimes, she wonders what went wrong, what she could have possibly done that would have driven Adrian away. She wonders if she was oblivious to the signs, if she should have seen them sooner. She wonders if she had more experience in relationships, if she would’ve been able to see the truth. </p><p>“<em>Hindi lahat ay mananatili kailanman</em>.” Her mom said. “You have to learn to let him go.”</p><p>She still feels naked sometimes without her ring, even though it’s been nearly three years, and finds herself absently running her fingers over the blank space on her left hand. The ordeal definitely hardened her, pushed her back into the shell her friends worked so hard to pull her out of, and made her more reserved, quiet. Made her think men, and love, weren’t worth it anymore.</p><p>And then…</p><p>Shawn came along.</p><p>He reminded her of Max, of how earnest and openly friendly he was. He was just as charming as Adrian, and effortlessly endearing. When Mrs. Goldman pushed them together, Quinn resisted, refusing to let anyone who wasn’t Max get close to her. But in a matter of weeks, she can’t deny the fact that a friendship is blooming, can’t deny she’s interested in getting to know him more, even as just friends.</p><p>She can deny it all she wants, but she can hear Max and the five muses in her head about it anyway.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Who d'you think you’re kidding?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>No chance, no way.</p><p>She won’t say it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shawn felt an uneasy sense of over-protectiveness overcome him as Quinn sits in his passenger seat.</p><p>She’d fought him tooth and nail on this arrangement until she realized it was a lost cause, and listened to Shawn. He followed her to her apartment and waited patiently on her living room couch while she packed a bag and her backpack, then climbed into his car and allowed him to drive her to his place.</p><p>“I don’t think this is necessary.” She says quietly from beside him.</p><p>“It’s just for the week and a half he’s here.” He says. “Then you can go back to your place.”</p><p>“But it’s still not <em>necessary</em>.”</p><p>Shawn takes a glance at Quinn before looking back at the road. “You said you didn’t want him to randomly show up at your place, or at your mom’s. And you said you couldn’t control whether or not Max let it slip up as to where you were-”</p><p>“Max wouldn’t do that.”</p><p>“You can’t guarantee that, Quinn.”</p><p>“I don’t need saving.”</p><p>“I’m not trying to save you, I’m just trying to help you as a friend. Whether Max slipped up or not, neither of them know where I live, and that means you’d be safer with me.”</p><p>“Adrian isn’t dangerous.”</p><p>Shawn grips the steering wheel a little tighter. “No, but he cheated on you and never got the chance to explain, or redeem himself, which makes him a desperate man.”</p><p>“Are you speaking from experience?”</p><p>“I’m speaking from the perspective of a formerly engaged person who also has an ex looking to redeem themselves.”</p><p>Quinn whips her head toward him. “So that’s why Maddie was at the gallery. To get you back.”</p><p>“I’m not sure,” he answers, turning onto his street. “But she seems to have an inside person filling her into all the details in my life, so I’m pretty sure that’s what she’s after.”</p><p>“A what?” Quinn sputters, turning in her seat to face Shawn. “So you mean to tell me I’d be safe from my ex at your place, but not safe from your crazy ex?”</p><p>Shawn can’t help but roll his eyes, pressing the button for his garage opener on his visor. “No one on my team knows about this place. Not even my manager. Only my family. Just me and my realtor.”</p><p>Quinn looks at the home - a two story townhouse, technically three if you count the garage and implied basement level, hidden in a family friendly neighborhood, off the beaten path and away from his well known downtown condo Quinn assumed she would’ve been staying at - and realizes that behind the tinted windows of Shawn’s car, no one seems to notice them. “Why is that?”</p><p>“I needed privacy, after everything. So I bought this place on my own. Everything else is under the name of someone from my management team or from the label, and it’s all on the books. This one isn’t.”</p><p>“Is this one under your name?”</p><p>“Kind of,” Shawn says, pulling into his garage and shutting the garage door behind the car. He doesn’t turn the car off until the garage door is closed and locked.</p><p>“You used a fake name?” She guesses a teasing tone to her voice.</p><p>Shawn winces. “I can hear you judging me, okay? Yes it’s under a fake name. It’s my middle name and my mom’s maiden name. The realtor knew who I was and did me a solid.”</p><p>Quinn chuckles. “‘Did me a solid?’ Who even are you sometimes?”</p><p>“Yeah yeah, laugh it up.” He says, tilting his head. “Let’s go, I’ll give you the grand tour.”</p><p>Quinn hops out of the car while Shawn grabs her duffle bag and backpack from the trunk, waiting patiently at the front of the car for him to enter his home through the garage door.</p><p>She follows him as he unlocks the door, stepping into what appears to be a completely finished basement. There’s a large L shaped couch facing what appears to be a home-sized movie screen, the projector hanging from the ceiling above it. There’s also a small bar area, a full bathroom, washer and dryer, and a guest bedroom off to the side. Quinn assumes that’s where she’ll be sleeping, until Shawn turns the corner and heads up the stairs.</p><p>Quinn follows Shawn, and finds herself in a spacious and open living room, another L shaped couch in the middle of the space facing a decent flat screen TV, and underneath, a decent entertainment center Quinn swears is from Urban Outfitters. To the right is a media console with its doors open, displaying vinyl records and cassette tapes, a cassette player and record player on top of the console. There’s a full bookshelf to the left of the TV near the living room window, which has its curtains drawn, shutting out the views of the street.</p><p>It’s a well decorated living room, and nothing at all like what Quinn expected. For a second secret home, she expected it to be a little bit more barren than it was, but it appeared to be more lived in than she thought.</p><p>They pass the kitchen on their way toward another staircase, and she notices a stack of mail and take out menus, along with various coffee machines, a blender, and a cabinet with a glass window that displays a wide collection of mugs.</p><p>His second floor is lined with plush carpeting, and he points toward the left, where there are two double doors painted navy blue. “That’s my room, if you need anything. Or if you need to use my bathroom for some reason.”</p><p>He leads her to the right, to another set of double doors, this time painted white, and Quinn follows him as he enters his guest room.</p><p>The king sized bed sits in the center of the room, and there’s a wooden bench in front of it with decorative pillows and a small pile of throw blankets, as well as a white terry cloth robe definitely stolen from a hotel, an extra two pillows, and an extra comforter.</p><p>To the left of the bed is a mirrored closet, and against the wall to the right of the bed is a night stand, with a blooming orchid and lamp sitting on top of it.</p><p>The six drawer dresser is against the wall across from the foot of the bed, below the mounted TV, and the door to the bathroom is in the corner, next to one of the two wide windows that overlooks Shawn’s little yard. The curtains are pulled back, but Quinn has a feeling they match the ones in the living room, that would surely shut the light and outside world away if she closed them.</p><p>“This is…” She begins. “Different.”</p><p>“Too much?”</p><p>“Well I mean it’s bigger than my entire apartment, that’s for sure. But it’s beautiful.” She turns to Shawn, a soft and thoughtful look on her face. “Despite my reservations, thank you, for this. For letting me stay here. I appreciate it.”</p><p>Shawn shrugs. “I figured it would make us even. You are helping me and all, this is me starting to pay you back.”</p><p>“Shawn, you don’t have to-”</p><p>“It’s been a long day, and it’s a school night.” He says, setting her bags down on the bed. “There’s spare towels in the closet and in the cabinet under the sink. You get washed up, relax, and I’ll get started on dinner downstairs.”</p><p>That seems to finalize the conversation, and Shawn retreats from the room, shutting the door behind him.</p><p>She feels a little lost, like she’s intruding again. The memory of how quickly her friendship moved with Max pops up, but she pushes it down. Max is her best friend.</p><p>Shawn is her co-worker. Friend, maybe, but co-worker first.</p><p>It takes her a couple of moments, but she eventually moves, shutting the curtains first and turning the light on in the room, including the lap on the nightstand.</p><p>Once she feels comfortable in the light, she takes out her clothes and starts to unpack, placing her clothes in the drawers so she isn’t living out of a duffle bag, lining her shoes up near the door. She takes out her laptop and plugs in it, then grabs her toiletry bag and heads for the bathroom.</p><p>It’s spacious, much more spacious than she expected, but it also doesn’t surprise her. The bathroom is bright, clean lines and pristine. She sets her skin care things on one side of the counter, her toothbrush and toothpaste in the little cup provided, and then rests her hair brush and curl maintenance products on the other side of the sink.</p><p>She goes about setting up her shower products on the different shelves in the bathroom, and tries not to think too much about why there’s a built in bench in the shower, big enough to fit what looks like three people, or the waterfall showerhead, or the detachable showerhead either.</p><p>Luxury was something she still had a hard time understanding.</p><p>After grabbing a change of clothes from the drawers, she grabs a towel from the closet and takes a shower, figuring it would help to clear her head.</p><p>-</p><p>Downstairs, Shawn’s panicking a little.</p><p>Just a little.</p><p>He’s got his mom on speaker, walking him through how to not butcher or burn the Instant Pot beef stew recipe she’d sent over when she learned Quinn would be staying with him.</p><p>“I promise it will take thirty minutes, Shawn, just like it says on the stew mix packet. Did you already brown the meat?”</p><p>“Yes, in the pot already.” He says. “So all I do is put the stew mix in and the vegetables in and press the stew button?”</p><p>“Yes honey,” his mom says for the umpteenth time. “That’s all you need.”</p><p>“Alright. Sorry I’m panicking.” He pours the potatoes, carrots, celery, and onions in, followed by the stew mix.</p><p>“It’s okay Shawn, it’s the first time you’ve had a girl over in awhile, I get it.”</p><p>He sputters, nearly dropping his phone onto his kitchen counter. “Mom! That’s not-”</p><p>“Shawn.” She says gently. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”</p><p>“She’s not-”</p><p>“She’s a friend.” His mom says. “And that’s enough.”</p><p>Shawn sighs, saying his goodbyes before shutting the lid on the instant pot and placing his prep dishes in the sink. He takes out a couple of bowls and a ladle for when the beef stew is ready, and decides to move into the living room. He lights a few scented candles to relieve his stress, also turning on the oil diffuser Aaliyah bought him for his birthday this year.</p><p>He knows how much Quinn enjoys comfort, so he tries to make sure she’s as comfortable as possible in his space, bringing out extra couch blankets and turning the thermostat to a reasonable temperature.</p><p>Right when he hears the timer go off on the Instant Pot, he can hear Quinn’s soft footfalls as she descends the staircase. He heads for the kitchen, releasing the steam and pulling out glasses and utensils from his cabinets.</p><p>“Shawn?”</p><p>“In the kitchen, Quinn.”</p><p>She pads into the kitchen in sweatpants, a shirt that’s three sizes too big, and fluffy socks on her feet. Her curly hair is wet but twisted up into a bun away from her face. She’s wearing glasses, and looks oddly innocent.</p><p>He coughs when he realizes he’s been staring, and gestures to the Instant Pot. “I made beef stew, and there’s drinks in the fridge, if you want something. I’ve also got wine, if you drink that.”</p><p>“Thank you.” She says quietly.</p><p>They make their bowls and grab drinks, and Quinn follows Shawn out to the couch, placing her bowl and drinks on coasters on his table as she gets adjusted. When she moves, Shawn can smell her shampoo - eucalyptus and rosemary - and feels relaxed.</p><p>They eat in silence as a movie plays on Shawn’s TV, the only sign Quinn’s watching her occasional laugh or small gasp from beside him. At one point, she gets up for seconds, and Shawn follows her, wanting a little more himself.</p><p>He serves them both, and Quinn murmurs out a small thank you, but he notices that she doesn’t really look at him. “Quinn,” he calls, right before she turns away. She turns to him with a small inquisitive smile, and Shawn puts his bowl down. “Are you okay? Do you really not want to be here?”</p><p>Quinn frowns, shaking her head. “It’s not that, not exactly. I appreciate this, really, I do. And it’s not you, it’s just…well, earlier, when I got out of the shower, I got a text from Max.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>Quinn sighs, placing her bowl on the counter, looking at her feet. “You were right. Adrian found my address on something I’d mailed to Max a while ago. He dropped by my place, and when I wasn’t there he went back to Max to ask where I was.”</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>I fucking knew it.</b>
  </em>
</p><p>Shawn grips the counter, knuckles turning white. “And what did Max do?”</p><p>“Max didn’t say anything, told Adrian to butt out and leave me alone. But you were right, he’s…definitely desperate.”</p><p>He scoffs. “If only there was a way to introduce him to Maddie. Maybe our problems would be solved.”</p><p>“Or they’d get monumentally worse.”</p><p>Shawn tries to ignore the bubbling anger he can feel in his veins. “Is he <em>actually</em> only staying for a week and a half?”</p><p>Quinn shrugs. “I don’t know. Max said they’ve been talking on and off for the past year. Adrian reached out, wanted to make amends, and Max said they’ve slowly been working on their issues and going back to being cordial.”</p><p>“How did that escalate into Adrian suddenly coming for a visit?”</p><p>“He’s got leave from the Army, I suppose.” Quinn offers, wrapping her arms around herself. “I’m not totally sure, but Max says it’s definitely a short amount of time, and he only mentioned staying with Max for a week and a half before he has to fly back to whatever country he’s stationed in.”</p><p>“Then that poses a new question.” Shawn says, taking a step closer. “If he’s actually only staying a week, then the plan we have right now is fine. But if he’s staying longer, then-”</p><p>“He couldn’t.” Quinn says. “Max said he’s definitely still active duty, and there are no army bases in Canada, so there’s no way he could actually move here.”</p><p>“What if he’s not on active duty?”</p><p>Quinn grimaces. “I feel sick. I’m not sure I like where this conversation is going.”</p><p>“Relax.” Shawn says, approaching her and placing his hands on her shoulders. “The solution is simple. You stay here until he leaves the country. Be it a week and a half, or a month and a half. You’re staying here, and if we have to send people to your place to get things for you, we’ll do that.”</p><p>“Shawn you can’t have your people-”</p><p>“Not to sound like an absolute asshole, but technically, yes, I can.” He lowers his hands, bracing one on the kitchen counter and the other on the kitchen island. “From what you said, he might not be an abusive ex, but it sounds like he’s a lot like Maddie - willing to do whatever it takes to get to you and mess with your head. I’ve already made my decision that Maddie doesn’t get to do what she wants. You’ve gotta make that decision with Adrian, too.”</p><p>He can see the emotions swimming around in Quinn’s head, and he sighs. “Tell you what, why don’t we save the rest of this beef stew for lunch at school tomorrow. I’ve got some brownies and some ice cream - I’ll make a brownie sundae and then we can watch a stupid rom com. Sound like a good plan?” She nods, and Shawn smiles. “Great. See? Already off to a great start as roommates. It’s going to work out.”</p><p>When she smiles in turn, Shawn feels relieved, starting to put things away and getting the supplies for brownie sundaes.</p><p>He sends a text to Andrew and Jacob anyway, just to be safe, to have security set up outside Quinn’s apartment, in case Adrian decides to try anything stupid.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="cont group">
  <p>“Are you sure about this, Mel?” Quinn asks, staring at the piles of paperwork in front of them.</p>
  <p>The first pile is a stack of papers for Shawn’s lawyer and the court, verifying he’s officially completed his volunteer hours with them and is legally off the hook. </p>
  <p>The second pile is his volunteer hour sheets, his reviews from Mrs. Goldman, Quinn, Beth Dobson, Adam Pell, Marlene Rosa, and Stephen Abe, and a thorough evaluation from Mrs. Goldman and Quinn, along with a few letters parents have sent into the school with their students talking about how their son or daughter has enjoyed Shawn’s lessons and the positive ways it affects them at home. </p>
  <p>And the third pile is his contract. The one that would allow him to continue teaching at Littlewood for as long as he indicates he’ll be able to. And that follows the clauses he laid out himself. </p>
  <p>Shawn will teach at Littlewood along the same hours and commitments as in his volunteer position. He’ll legally accept an income from the school and what happens to it after he receives it is up to him, and if he has to leave due to his career’s obligations, he’s responsible for finding a replacement teacher or temporary substitute for any possible absences. </p>
  <p>Quinn and Mrs. Goldman have spent the past three days during their lunch hours, and admin time before and after school drafting up the necessary paperwork just in case. Quinn still wasn’t sure about it all, to be honest.</p>
  <p>Nothing against Shawn, or his teaching abilities, but it seemed at the minute he had more on his plate to deal with than curriculum plans.</p>
  <p>Melodie sighs, ruffling through the pages of Shawn’s contract, lips pursed. “Quinn, we need the help. And it’s been helping with the kids’ development. I mean you read the parent feedback, he’s doing amazing. Plus, Shawn’s right, we can’t lose him now. Not in the middle of the year.”</p>
  <p>“We could always just see it through to Winter Break, and then after break, revisit the idea.”</p>
  <p>Melodie shakes her head. “Even you know that’s not feasible. If we’re going to keep him full time we need to do it now, especially with the new superintendent. He’ll want to review all of this before the end of break so we can at least get Shawn rolling when school is back in session.”</p>
  <p>“Do you think they’ll accept him?”</p>
  <p>“I won’t give them a choice if they fight me on it. Arts programs are being cut all over the country, if ours is one of them, I’m sure it won’t sit well with the parents.” </p>
  <p>Quinn nods. “So we’re keeping him, then?”</p>
  <p>Melodie nods with a smile. “We’re keeping him.”</p>
  <p>“He’s going to freak out.” Quinn says, smiling. “I can’t wait to tell him.”</p>
  <p>-</p>
  <p>Shawn gathers up his things for the day, putting his laptop, iPad, headphones, notebook, and pencil case into his backpack along with his chargers and the bento lunch container in the fridge that Quinn made him. He grabs his water bottle and slips it in the little pocket of his backpack, calling up the stairs for Quinn to let her know that he’s ready to head out to school. </p>
  <p>Quinn comes down the steps dressed in jeans, a worn sweater, her curls tied into a bun on top of her head. She’s got her backpack on and packed and meets Shawn by the door to the stairs that lead to the basement and the garage, not fussing when Shawn opens her backpack and puts her own bento container inside before zipping it back up.</p>
  <p>She’s on her phone while she tries to put her shoes on at the bench by the door. Shawn chuckles, seeing she’s clearly caught up in whatever she’s watching, the volume is too low on her phone for Shawn to be able to make out what it is. She scrolls once, then laughs a little. </p>
  <p>Shawn smiles. “What in the world are you watching?”</p>
  <p>“TikTok,” she says absently, then turns her phone screen to Shawn. “This guy kind of looks like you.”</p>
  <p>Shawn takes a look at the guy on the screen, clad in a denim jacket very similar to the one Shawn owns, grabbing a microphone and pretending to sing to the viewer. He nods once, and gently pushes the phone back to Quinn. “Social media isn’t good for you.”</p>
  <p>Quinn rolls her eyes, heading down the stairs. “You have your vices and I have mine, Shawn.”</p>
  <p>“I’m just trying to get you out the door because I don’t want to be late on my last day.”</p>
  <p>He punctuates the last couple of words, trying to gauge Quinn’s reaction, but she gives him nothing. They head through the basement and into the garage, climbing into Shawn’s Jeep and pulling out of the garage without another word.</p>
  <p>“Did you have fun, at least?” Quinn asks.</p>
  <p>Shawn glances at her quickly, smiling from ear to ear. “You know I did.”</p>
  <p>“The kids are going to miss you.” She says sadly. “We haven’t told them today’s your last day.”</p>
  <p>He tries his best not to frown as he heads toward Starbucks for their morning coffee, and he looks to Quinn sadly. </p>
  <p>She frowns at him. “Shawn, you know Mrs. Goldman and I are doing what we can, okay? But it’s not as easy as you think.” Her tone is comforting but Shawn recognizes it as a ‘no’ anyway.</p>
  <p>“I just…I was hoping to tell Andrew today when he comes to pick up the paperwork for my lawyers.”</p>
  <p>“I know, Shawn.” She says, nodding and patting him on the arm comfortingly. “We’re doing what we can.”</p>
  <p>-</p>
  <p>When they arrive at school, Quinn ushers them to the front office and Shawn prepares to fill out the last slot on his volunteer sheet, but Quinn grabs the paper from him.</p>
  <p>“Quinn? I need to-”</p>
  <p>“C’mon.” She says, gesturing to Melodie’s office behind the desk. “We have to fill out your last day paperwork together.”</p>
  <p>He’s confused, but agrees, following Quinn behind the desk. Mrs. Goldman’s office door is closed when it’s normally always open, but when Quinn opens the door, Shawn finds out why.</p>
  <p>The sound of party poppers and loud cheers greets him as confetti rains down on him when he crosses the threshold. </p>
  <p>Every teacher from Littlewood is crammed into Mrs. Goldman’s office - teachers from classes he has for music, and even teachers he doesn’t have but has met through his time here. At first Shawn thinks it’s a going away party, looking at all the breakfast food laid out on the tables lining the walls of her office, until he sees a giant banner with “Congratulations - Welcome to Littlewood!” on the wall behind them.</p>
  <p>Mrs. Goldman steps forward, holding a blue box with a white ribbon on top. Quinn nudges him forward from behind, and he takes the box in his hands with a curious smile. </p>
  <p>“Go on,” Quinn says gently. “Open it.”</p>
  <p>When Shawn opens the box, there’s a note at the top that says “Welcome Mr. Mendes,” and when he moves it aside, he finds a document that reads “Employment Contract.”</p>
  <p>“No way.” He says, looking at Mrs. Goldman in disbelief, then spins around, eyes narrowed and pointing at Quinn. “You little sneak!”</p>
  <p>“I said we would do what we can, didn’t I?”</p>
  <p>“It might take awhile to approve,” Mrs. Goldman says. “We’ve got to meet with the superintendent still, but as far as we know you can go on about business as usual in the meantime.”</p>
  <p>He feels like he might cry. “So I’m staying?”</p>
  <p>“You’re staying.” She says, nodding. He drops the box on the nearest surface and launches himself at Mrs. Goldman, wrapping her in a hug and thanking her profusely. “Aw, Shawn, you’re welcome, sweetheart.” She says, then adds lowly, “but it wasn’t just me, you know.”</p>
  <p>At that, Shawn spins around, and finds Quinn staring at him with a bashful smile. “What?”</p>
  <p>He bends down a little and hugs her next, holding her tightly. “Thank you.”</p>
  <p>“I didn’t do anything.” She says, wrapping her arms around him in turn.</p>
  <p>“You know exactly what you did.” He says. “Thank you.”</p>
  <p>“Get a room!”</p>
  <p>There’s a loud groan at Adam’s exclamation, but Shawn pulls back anyway, smiling sweetly at Quinn, and then at the room. “Thank you guys, I appreciate it.”</p>
  <p>“Don’t thank us yet.” Marlene says. “You’ve still got to come up with lesson plans for next semester.”</p>
  <p>“Although I’m sure Quinn will be happy to help you with that.” Beth says, winking at Shawn. Quinn groans from behind him.</p>
  <p>“Alright that’s enough, I see bagels so you all need to move.” Quinn says, but nudges Shawn gently as she passes, throwing a smile at him over her shoulder. </p>
  <p>If you had asked him six months ago if he thought he’d be in this position - becoming a music teacher to a school he didn’t even know existed in this city beforehand - he might have laughed at you and then drowned himself in tequila. </p>
  <p>But as he looks at Quinn, smiling at her coworkers, then smiling back at Shawn, he doesn’t know how he could’ve ended up anywhere else.</p>
  <p>-</p>
  <p>One day, Shawn comes into Quinn’s classroom after school, knowing he’s probably going to have to drag her out of the class to get her to come home. She’s got her head buried in her student’s history textbook, with the main lights in the class off and the little string lights Shawn helped her hang illuminating the space in a soft glow.</p>
  <p>They started decorating for Christmas and Boxing Day over the weekend, preparing for the upcoming holidays, and following the Littlewood Academy holiday traditions. According to tradition, each teacher buys little stockings, and puts each of their students’ names on them, hanging them over their cubbies. Each day the teacher puts little candies or notes in them for the kids to find, and so far from what Shawn knows, the kids and parents in Quinn’s class love it.</p>
  <p>Shawn didn’t have cubbies in his classroom, so he opted for a giant bowl of candy, and the small toys from those Mini Brands spheres for the kids to choose from. </p>
  <p>He knocks softly, and Quinn lifts her head slowly, eyes finishing the last sentence she’s engulfed in before looking at Shawn.</p>
  <p>“You feel like getting out of here and grabbing dinner or what?”</p>
  <p>Quinn chuckles, closing the textbook. “You’ve only been a full timer for a week and a half and you’re already sounding like Adam.”</p>
  <p>“Well I’m starving, and we have black bean burgers at home that I’d like to destroy, but I am willing to share a couple burgers with you.”</p>
  <p>“So generous.” Quinn teases. “You know you can go home alone, right? I can always order and Uber.”</p>
  <p>“I’m not letting you Uber to my house.” Shawn says, shaking his head.</p>
  <p>“Scared I’ll give away your secret location?”</p>
  <p>“No, I just don’t believe in letting you take an Uber by yourself.” Shawn says. “What do you still need to do here that I can help with?”</p>
  <p>Quinn rolls her eyes playfully, grabbing her backpack. “Nothing, I was just reviewing for the next semester, but it can wait. Let’s just head home to your precious black bean burgers. I want to finish watching Outer Banks anyway.” </p>
  <p>“You were supposed to wait for me! I thought we were watching that together.”</p>
  <p>“Yeah, but you fell asleep on the couch and John B is more important than you are.”</p>
  <p>“John B is sixteen.” </p>
  <p>“But Chase Stokes is twenty seven,” Quinn points out with a sly smile.</p>
  <p>Shawn shakes his head. “If I ever meet him I’m not introducing you two.”</p>
  <p>Quinn ignores him, heading down the hall. They clock out at the front office and then head out to Shawn’s car, and Shawn peels out of the parking lot with a smile on his face. He turns on the radio to Christmas carols, and turns the volume up a little, smiling when he sees Quinn nodding along to the music beside him.</p>
  <p>“You got any plans for Winter Break?”</p>
  <p>Quinn shrugs. “Kind of. They’re still up in the air though. I’ve got family in New York and Connecticut. My mom and I might go there, or we were thinking of taking a small vacation down in Florida. Depends.” She adjusts herself in her seat, twisting under her seatbelt and resting her back against the door to face Shawn fully. “What about you? Any fun celebrity things you have to do? Jingle bell ball or anything like that?”</p>
  <p>Shawn shakes his head. “My schedule’s pretty much blank. I usually just take the time to go home, be with my family. We were going to go to Turks and Caicos this year but, uh-” He cuts himself off, realizing the trip was planned with Maddie included.</p>
  <p>Quinn seems to catch on, nodding in understanding. “Who needs Turks and Caicos anyway? Haven’t you celebrities given that place enough tourism help?”</p>
  <p>Shawn chuckles. “I suppose so.” He pauses, but then looks at Quinn. “If you and your mom don’t end up having plans, you’re more than welcome to come and be with my family and I. We usually have a big family event, but it’s just me and my parents and my sister this year, so we’d be happy to have you.”</p>
  <p>“Thanks Shawn,” she says. “But I think we’ll be alright.”</p>
  <p>-</p>
  <p>Winter Break quickly approaches. On downtime and sometimes during the weekends, he and Quinn work on their laptops in his home office on his future curriculum - Shawn brainstorming his ideas, and Quinn mostly doing all of the writing. </p>
  <p>Quinn ended up staying with him the entire time.</p>
  <p>She and her mom came to the conclusion traveling for Winter Break probably wasn’t feasible this time around, and would have a regular Christmas with their family here in Toronto. This meant she’d eventually have to go over there, but Shawn didn’t mind hiding her away for a little longer.</p>
  <p>It also meant she’d stay away from Adrian and Max, which unfortunately, became the problem Shawn predicted it would become.</p>
  <p>They’re relaxing on his couch, re-watching “Outer Banks” when Max texts Quinn, asking her to meet him at his gallery. Shawn doesn’t want Quinn to go, but Quinn insists that Max wouldn’t put her in a situation she wasn’t comfortable in. She manages to convince Shawn to just drop her off at the gallery, only under the agreement that Max would bring her to the coffee shop a couple blocks away from Shawn’s house if he was going to drop her off.</p>
  <p>Two hours passed before Quinn got back, and when she did, it was in her own car that she parked in the garage next to Shawn’s, and an extra overnight bag with more of her clothes. </p>
  <p>“Looks like the bug is sticking around.” She mutters when she comes upstairs, letting her keys clatter on the coffee table when she plops down beside him. </p>
  <p>She leans her head back, resting it on the back of the couch as she fills Shawn in on the conversation she had with Max, a frown on her face the entire time. It turns out that Adrian was planning on sticking around longer than Max expected. He wasn’t sure what was going on - if Adrian had been kicked out of the army, or if there was something that Adrian wasn’t telling Max - but regardless, it meant that Quinn would be staying with Shawn longer than expected. </p>
  <p>“I don’t want to be rude.” She tells him. “I just sort of preemptively packed, but you can kick me out if you want, I don’t mind staying at my place.”</p>
  <p>“Absolutely not.” He says. “There’s no way you’re staying there if he knows where to find you.”</p>
  <p>“I feel like that’s a bit dramatic. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve moved on and I don’t want to see him either, but at the same time I don’t think it’s as bad as you think it is.”</p>
  <p>Shawn didn’t want to admit it, but he definitely thought it was actually way worse. He’d spent the entire time she was with Max worried that she’d run into her ex, or that it was a set up and Adrian would just pop up out of nowhere, and had to get up and clean to get rid of the nerves. </p>
  <p>“Well even if you did go back to your place, who’s to say he won’t show up? You said it yourself, that Max isn’t sure how long he’s going to be here.”</p>
  <p>“He wouldn’t miss Christmas with his family.” Quinn says. “Adrian’s family is way too close for that. And besides, Max is going home for Christmas, so why wouldn’t Adrian be going with him?”</p>
  <p>Shawn leveled her with a look. “You know why.”</p>
  <p>Quinn shrugged it off. “Shawn, I don’t think-”</p>
  <p>“Would you do this for me?” He interjects. “If it were me, if the tables were turned and it was me and Maddie, wouldn’t you do this for me?”</p>
  <p>She pauses, rolling her head to the side to stare at him. “You’re asking me, that if your ex was potentially stalking you, and you needed a place to crash, if I’d let you stay at my shitty little hole in the wall apartment.” He nods, and Quinn sighs. “Yeah, yeah I guess I would.”</p>
  <p>“And isn’t there potential for him to show up at your mom’s house, if he’s sticking around?”</p>
  <p>“Possibly, yes. But he wouldn’t be welcome.”</p>
  <p>“The point is that he’d <em>try</em>, Quinn. And you know he might. Max couldn’t stop him from showing up at your apartment, what’s to stop him from trying to get to you there?”</p>
  <p>“Shawn he’s not going to-”</p>
  <p>“I think you and your mom should spend Christmas with my family.”</p>
  <p>Quinn goes silent, staring at Shawn with the same blank face she used to give him when they first met. He knows that’s not a good sign. “Shawn, no.”</p>
  <p>He sighs. “Quinn-”</p>
  <p>“You can’t just swoop in and save me every time. I’m not a damsel in distress. I’ll be fine.”</p>
  <p>“Quinn, I didn’t-” </p>
  <p>“I said no, Shawn. Just leave it alone.” She stands up abruptly from her spot on the couch, stomping upstairs. He hears her door slam loudly, putting an end to the conversation.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Quinn dreams of Shawn.</p><p>A few nights before Shawn is supposed to leave for Pickering, she dreams it’s a snowy morning and Christmas is only days away. She’s in her room in his house, wrapped in the warm blankets and there’s a faint smell of vanilla that fills her nose.</p><p>There’s a book in her hands, and she isn’t sure what book it is, but she knows she’s holding it open, and there are another pair of hands turning the pages for her.</p><p>She turns her head to the side, finding Shawn behind her, chest bare and clad in grey sweats. She’s the little spoon, legs intertwined as he reads to her, and she turns back to the book, a soft smile on her face.</p><p>He presses a soft kiss to her cheek, shutting the book and reaching over her to put it on the nightstand. </p><p>“Feel like opening presents?”</p><p>She turns in bed to face him, nodding as he attaches his lips to her forehead, pressing more continuous kisses to the skin there. “Christmas isn’t for three more days.”</p><p>“I guess I’m just excited for you to see what I got you.”</p><p>She holds up her left hand, wiggling her fingers. “Isn’t this enough?”</p><p>Shawn smiles, pressing another kiss to the ring on her finger before taking her hand in his. “It’s only the tip of the iceberg, bubba.”</p><p>Quinn leans in then, lips only centimeters from his, when she wakes up. </p><p>She fell asleep in the L-Shape of Shawn’s couch in the living room finishing up her curriculum plan for the spring semester. She distinctly remembers being alone, but now, Shawn is asleep against the arm of the couch, body facing hers, one leg hanging off the couch and the other propped up with his knee bent. </p><p>His guitar is on the floor and he’s got a notebook and pencil on the coffee table, along with Quinn’s laptop, which Shawn probably put there. The clock on the cable box reads 10:30pm, and she falls back against the couch with a sigh.</p><p>Her heart is still racing from her dream, completely unsure of what it means, but stomach twisting and bottoming out anyway as it rushes through her. She moves to sit up, then notices he also draped a blanket over her, and her heart sinks.</p><p>They haven’t spoken much since she all but insisted that he butt out of her problems and refused his offer about spending Winter Break with him and his family. They mostly exchange pleasantries, and make small talk at school, but the tension between them is evident. She isn’t exactly sure where to tread with this, especially because she knows it’s her call. Shawn’s been trying to find fair footing and figure out a way to apologize, but it hasn’t been working much, mostly because Quinn won’t give him the chance.</p><p>She hates when she does this. </p><p>It’s become more frequent after Adrian, her distrust in men, how quick she is to draw a line in the sand and push them away. She’s back to being a bad friend to Shawn, and he probably feels like she’s being ungrateful, especially since he’s allowing her to stay with him, rent free, and hide away from her insistent ex fiancé and her best friend who she has become very suspicious of as of late. </p><p>Quinn just didn’t like feeling as though she was losing control of her life. She lost control when she got engaged to Adrian. Lost control when Max directed her around after her break up and felt like she had to prove her strength to him in order to get it back and move out and be on her own. She felt like she was losing it again now that Adrian was back around and Max was trying to keep a hand on the situation. She valued her independence and felt like Shawn was just another person who was coming in and hindering that. Which he wasn’t, and Quinn knew that, but it was hard to push away the feeling of deja vu. </p><p>He deserved none of her cold shoulder. And she knew she’d have to make it up to him. </p><p>She observes him as he sleeps, his face completely relaxed, arms crossed over his chest as it rises and falls gently. He’s wearing a white tank top and black sweats, his socked feet covered by the fluffy socks Quinn remembers him saying are his usual winter socks. </p><p>The heat is on in the house but there’s still a slight chill, and Shawn shivers from where he rests. Quinn gets up quietly, grabbing the blanket on top of her and placing it carefully over Shawn, making sure he’s tucked in before grabbing her laptop and heading upstairs.</p><p>She decides having dreams about a person is where she draws the line, and figures going to bed might be the best option for now.</p><p>-</p><p>Shawn dreams of Quinn.</p><p>He came into the living room to check on her, knowing when she immersed herself in school related things she tended to lose track of time, and found her asleep, laptop open where it still rested on her thighs. </p><p>Quinn may be mad at him, but he wasn’t going to stop being her friend.</p><p>After her put her laptop on the coffee table and placed a blanket over her, he was hit with a sudden wave of inspiration, words surfacing in his brain faster than he could comprehend, and he grabbed his notebook and pencil from the drawer of the coffee table and wrote them down. It took him about ten minutes to get everything down, and he decided to grab his guitar to hopefully find a melody.</p><p>He played softly, hoping not to wake Quinn, going through various chords before he settled on the start of a decent song. He’d definitely have to work out the kinks, but the more he tried to find a match between the melody and the lyrics, his brain short-circuited, the way it has been for awhile now, and he put his guitar down, discarding his notebook and pencil on the table. </p><p>Leaning back against the couch, Shawn tried to relax, looking at Quinn for any sign of disturbance. She slept soundly, and he figured if she was sleeping on the couch, why couldn’t he?</p><p>When he closed his eyes, he felt his body relax into the cushions, and he began to doze, lyrics and melody still floating around in his head.</p><p>As he dreams, he sees Quinn’s face. </p><p>They’re at a cabin, forest surrounding them on all sides, and he can hear birds chirping as the sun shines on his face. His feet are bare as he pads through the front lawn, before coming upon Quinn. She rests at his feet, on her hands and knees as she tends to freshly planted flowers and herbs. Her curls are in a messy bun atop her head, and she’s wearing a pale yellow sundress with little green flowers on the hem. </p><p>Her name falls from his lips in a murmur, so faint he’s not sure if he’s even said it aloud, but she hears him, turning to face him and the sun illuminates her bronze skin in a golden hue. </p><p>“You okay, bubba?” She says. “You look tired.”</p><p>Shawn nods, reaching for her. His hand lands on her cheek, caressing the skin there, and she leans into his touch, softly smiling at him. “Join me?”</p><p>“I’m almost done out here.” She says, gesturing to the soil. “Once I’m done I’ll bring the kids in for their nap and then we can eat lunch on the back porch.”</p><p>He hears the laughter of children faintly, and one of them comes running from around the back of the cabin, barreling towards him with a huge smile on his face.</p><p>He crashes into Shawn’s legs with a giggle, looking at Quinn fondly before looking up at Shawn. </p><p>“Daddy, can we-” he motions for Shawn to come closer, and he does, bending down to match his son’s height. Once close enough, he leans in and whispers “Can you me and Jamie go and pick flowers for mommy again?”</p><p>Shawn pulls back and smiles, then scoops the boy into his arms. He looks at his son’s face, finding Quinn’s eyes staring back at him, a large head of curls atop the boy’s head, forehead slightly layered with sweat. Shawn pushes his curls back, looking at Quinn. “Time for a haircut, hm?”</p><p>He knew in the back of his mind with his curls, and with Quinn’s, their poor kids didn’t stand a chance.</p><p>Quinn shakes her head, standing to take their son in her arms. “No, Oliver just had one. I think Jamison could use one, though.” She brings her hand up to her face, shielding the sun before calling out, “Jamison! Where are you sweetie?”</p><p>Shawn faintly hears Quinn murmur “what were you and Jamie getting up to out back, hm, Ollie?” as he hears more laughter ring out, before another boy, identical to Oliver, comes barreling around the corner in the same fashion, launching himself at Shawn with a sly smile.</p><p>“Hi,” he says, staring at his parents. Jamison has Quinn’s eyes as well, but as Shawn looks at him and at Oliver, they’re almost spitting images of him as a child. </p><p>Shawn bends down and picks up Jamison, ruffling his hair before shifting him to one hip before reaching for Quinn’s hand. Together, they head toward the cabin, and once inside, their twin boys scramble to get down, and once they do, they take off down the hallway. Quinn laughs as she watches after them, before turning to Shawn.</p><p>His arms wrap around her waist and she leans up as much as she can, Shawn bending down to meet her halfway in a kiss. When they part, she brings her hands up around his neck, and Shawn catches the fainest gleam of a diamond ring on her finger as she goes. </p><p>“We’re gonna be outnumbered soon, you know.” She says, pecking him on the lips. </p><p>Shawn’s hands immediately go to her stomach, rubbing over the small bump there. “It’s fine, we’re still a team. And we’ve been outnumbered before, at Littlewood.”</p><p>“But these are our own, you know?” She says, looking down at where his hands rub over her dress. “Our own little family.”</p><p>He presses a kiss to her forehead, and then to her nose. “Either way, we’ll be alright.”</p><p>Quinn nods, kissing him once before turning to the sink. She begins to wash her hands, then turns to him, asking him about what he wants for lunch as he steps up behind her. He means to make it romantic, washing her hands for her, mainly just an excuse to touch her, when his arms seem to go right through her.</p><p>He tries again, but his arms grip nothing, and he suddenly feels too hot.</p><p>Shawn awakes with a start, arms getting tangled in a blanket he definitely didn’t have before. A quick glance around him makes him realize Quinn is no longer on the couch, and it’s nearly midnight.</p><p>He sighs, calming his heart before tossing the blanket aside and making the climb up to his room. He passes by Quinn’s room on the way, and he stares at her door, the image of her in his dream still fresh in his mind. He can still feel the embrace of his children, their curly hair, can still see their facial features, can see exactly where he ends and Quinn begins.</p><p>It all felt so<em> real, </em>just within arms reach, and he was snapped back like a dog on a leash and it threw him for a total loop. </p><p>This entire time, he’s only ever tried to be Quinn’s friend. Is she beautiful? Of course. She’s incredibly beautiful, smart, hilarious, has taken his breath away a few times, and is undoubtedly a thousand leagues ahead of his own. But since the day they met, he’s only ever wanted to prove that he is a good person, and that he could be a good friend. </p><p>He desperately needed one. Needed someone who would look past his career, past his relationship history, past everything and anything he’d ever been associated with, someone who would just peel back the layers and see Shawn. Just Shawn, exactly as he was, exactly for who he has always been, and Quinn…Quinn was the only person who fit the bill.</p><p>She saw how broken and messed up he was, and while it was rough going at first, she helped him out and became the company he needed. And in turn, he ended up becoming the same for her. It sucked to know that he made so much progress and overstepped his boundaries, but he figured it would get better if he could just get a chance to talk to her, to apologize.</p><p>He almost approaches her door, almost knocks on it just to check on her, just to see if she’s awake, but he ends up chickening out, and heading for his own room.</p><p>The right time will come eventually.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shawn zips up his suitcase, pushing it to the side in his room as his phone vibrates on his nightstand. Andrew’s name flashes on the screen, and Shawn internally cringes. He’s been hoping to avoid this call, knowing for a fact what it’s about, but he picks up anyway.</p><p>“Where the fuck have you been?”</p><p>Shawn winces. “Hello to you too.”</p><p>“Don’t give me that.” Andrew sighs. “Where the hell have you been, Shawn?”</p><p>“My apartment.” He says simply.</p><p>Andrew sighs. “Shawn. I’ve gone to your apartment five different times now in the past month and every single time you weren’t there. So where have you been.” When Shawn doesn’t answer, Andrew sighs again. “Are you at your secret hideout?”</p><p>Shawn feels his jaw drop to the floor. “I - what - how did you -”</p><p>“All I know is you have a place you stay at that none of us know about. I don’t know where it is, obviously, but the overall situation wasn’t hard to figure out.”</p><p>“Who told you?” </p><p>“I have my sources.” Andrew says. “Are you safe, at least?”</p><p>“Yeah, I am. Did you get my paperwork?”</p><p>“I did, thank you for that. I sent it over to David, so you should be all set.”</p><p>“Okay.” Shawn says, then pauses. “Did you call for a specific reason?”</p><p>“Mainly to figure out where the hell you’ve been, but also to double check and see that you’re alive, and to ask you about this sudden teaching job you’ve secured?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he breathes out, taking a seat on his bed. “It’s the same one I’ve been doing this whole time.”</p><p>“As a volunteer,” Andrew emphasizes. “Not as an actual teacher.” </p><p>“Well now I am.” Shawn says. He knows he’s being childish, but he can’t stop. His relationship and friendship with Andrew has been strained since Maddie got out of the picture. Shawn needed a friend and time to grieve, and Andrew was focused on adjusting and dealing with the impacts to his career - and rightfully so - but Shawn just felt like he was left to deal with it all on his own. </p><p>“Is this something you want, Shawn?” Andrew asks, sincerity in his voice. “Lay low, take a step back from the spotlight and work a nine to five?”</p><p>“It’s actually a seven to three.”</p><p>Andrew snorts out a laugh. “Still, is this what you want to do?”</p><p>Shawn turns his head, looking through his open bedroom door at Quinn’s own door, shut and sealing him out. “For now, yeah.” He admits. “I’m still writing, still making music, I’m just not ready to get back into the studio and seal the deal, you know? I planned on taking a break anyway, the break just looks a little different.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’ve traded a honeymoon and domestic life for glue sticks and parent teacher conferences.”</p><p>Shawn laughs, taking a seat on his bed. “It’s not that bad, you know.”</p><p>“I know.” He says. “Are you at least happy with it?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Shawn replies, chancing another glance at Quinn’s door. “Getting there.”</p><p>Andrew pauses. “Does this have anything to do with that teacher you met there? Quincy or something?”</p><p>“<em>Quinn</em>,” Shawn corrects. “And no.”</p><p>“So you mean to tell me you’re not interested in her?”</p><p>“It’s not like we’re getting married, Andrew.”</p><p>“Not yet you’re not.” Andrew says. “You forget that I know you, Shawn. I can tell when a girl’s got you wrapped her finger.”</p><p>“She’s not like Maddie.”</p><p>“You said that about Maddie and the girl before her.”</p><p>“No. <em>Really</em>, Andrew. She’s not. She doesn’t come from where they come from. They’re not the same.” Shawn gets up then, shutting his door just in case Quinn were to come out and catch him talking about her. “I haven’t even told her how I felt.”</p><p>That shuts Andrew up. “You haven’t?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Do you plan to?”</p><p>“No!” He exclaims, then lowers his voice. “I don’t know. I’m still sorting things out. Besides, I don’t even think she likes me back.”</p><p>“But you <em>like</em> her?”</p><p>“I think so.” Shawn says. “It’s a new development.”</p><p>“How new?”</p><p>“As of like three days ago. But we’re just friends.”</p><p>Andrew laughs. “Well I’m glad to know your romantic life is running smoothly.” There’s some shuffling on his end, and he hears Andrew curse faintly before he comes back on the line. “Well, I’m glad you’re alive. Try to not be a stranger, okay? And enjoy your Christmas break.”</p><p>“Thanks Andrew.” He says. “Merry Christmas.”</p><p>“Merry Christmas to you too, buddy. See you soon.”</p><p>Shawn hangs up, pocketing his phone as he stands. He has a couple things to do around the house before he has to head out on the road to Pickering, one of those things being making sure he gives Quinn a spare key to the townhouse in case she needs it.</p><p>When he opens the door, he finds Quinn just stepping over the threshold of hers, dressed in leggings and a worn sweater, her curls wet from a shower, and fuzzy socks on her feet. They both stare at each other like a deer in headlights for a split second, then Quinn laughs nervously, breaking the tension.</p><p>“I was just heading downstairs to grab my backpack and stuff, finish packing.”</p><p>Shawn nods. “I was going to run a couple of errands before I leave.” He holds his hand out a little. “Did you want to come with me? We can grab breakfast and stuff, too, before you head to your mom’s.”</p><p>She shrugs. “If you want company, sure, I don’t mind.”</p><p>“I’d like that, if it’s okay with you.” </p><p>Quinn nods, a small smile gracing her features as she nods. She follows him downstairs, both of them grabbing their wallets on the way, before putting on their shoes and heading down to the garage.</p><p>Shawn drives toward a diner a little outside the city - a small place, mostly filled with elderly customers this time of the morning, and most importantly, a place he can hang out with Quinn in peace. As he drives, he can’t help but notice the definite tension in the car, no matter how relaxed Quinn was in his passenger seat. </p><p>It’s a shitty situation, because they’re in his car, have a half hour drive at least to be in this car, and it’s as good a time as any to say what he needs to say. He takes a few deep breaths to prepare himself for the conversation, and when he finally gets his bearings, he figures he might as well just go for it.</p><p>“Quinn, I-”</p><p>“Shawn-”</p><p>He takes a quick glance at her, not expecting her to have anything to say to him, and they both laugh nervously. “Sorry.” She says, “You go first.”</p><p>“I meant to apologize. For the way I acted, for crossing boundaries and overstepping. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was trying to tell you what to do, I was just trying to protect you. Trying to be a friend, rather. And I haven’t been very good at it.”</p><p>“No Shawn,” she says. “You shouldn’t apologize for any of that stuff. I’m the one that hasn’t been a good friend.”</p><p>Shawn glances at her, incredulous, before focusing on the road. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>“I’ve been a terrible friend to you. I can’t even begin to apologize. I’ve been cold and rude to you since the beginning and you’ve been nothing but kind, and sweet, and incredibly accommodating even though you don’t have to be and I don’t deserve it. I just…it’s no excuse, but I just haven’t had a friend like this in a very long time, and I’m not used to it.”</p><p>“Not used to having a friend?”</p><p>“Not used to having someone care about me that isn’t Max. Or Mrs. G. Or my mom, or anyone else at Littlewood. It’s just different, and I felt like I was losing control of my life. Not that you were trying to take control, but…after Adrian, after everything that happened, people stepped in and made decisions for me because they thought I was too heartbroken to make them on my own, and I hated feeling like that.”</p><p>“Well I’m sure me insisting you live with me and go home with me for break wasn’t helping.”</p><p>She frowns. “No, it wasn’t. Although I appreciate you letting me stay with you, that was very generous.”</p><p>Shawn curses, chancing a glance at her then putting his eyes back on the road. “I didn’t mean to, you know. I know I overstepped when I pushed for you to stay with me during break, but I promise it wasn’t to make your decisions for you. It was just me trying to be a good friend.”</p><p>“I know, Shawn. I know. And you’ve been a great friend. I haven’t been.”</p><p>“I don’t think that’s true.”</p><p>She scoffs. “How could it not be? I’ve given you the cold shoulder countless times, and I know for a fact I’ve been extremely ungrateful since moving in with you, and-”</p><p>“You have not been ungrateful.” He insists. “Not for one second.”</p><p>“But I-”</p><p>“Quinn. You’ve done my laundry <em>three times</em>, you’ve meal prepped, cooked dinner and made lunch most days for both of us, you’ve helped me organize my home office, helped me with my curriculum, and you’ve also cleaned the house even though I asked you not to, twice, because I am more than capable of cleaning my own house. You have been anything but ungrateful.”</p><p>“But I haven’t thanked you properly.”</p><p>“You don’t have to thank me. We’re friends.”</p><p>When he says the word, it feels foreign. Especially considering the dream he had about her a few nights ago. And the dreams he’s been having about her since. Mostly dreams where they’re together, about their kids, about the future they could have. About how she feels beneath his touch.</p><p>“Shawn.” She says as he pulls up to a red light. There’s something about her tone that has him turning to look at her.</p><p>She’s biting her lip, like she’s nervous to tell him whatever’s on her mind, but there’s a look in her eyes that Shawn hasn’t seen before and can’t quite place. “What is it?” He asks.</p><p>“Are we just friends, though?”</p><p>There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach.</p><p>“Why wouldn’t we be friends, Quinn?”</p><p>She opens her mouth to respond, but is interrupted by the person behind them honking their horn.</p><p>They both snap out of it, Shawn pressing his foot on the gas and continuing the drive. Shawn looks to Shawn, waiting for her to say what she needs to say, but she’s looking out the window instead, pretty content not to say anything. </p><p>He frowns. They were getting somewhere, he feels. Like they were finally breaking through the tension only to stop half way. The rest of the drive to the diner is silent, save for the rumble of Shawn’s jeep. He looks over at her a couple of times, but she won’t look at him, just continues to stare out of the window. When they pull into the parking lot of the diner, Shawn puts the Jeep in park, kills the engine, and puts the child locks on the door right as Quinn is trying to get out. </p><p>The locking sound echoes throughout the now silent car, and Quinn visibly tenses, turning to Shawn with a frown. “Shawn, aren’t we going inside to eat?”</p><p>“Not until you finish what you were going to say earlier.”</p><p>“I wasn’t-”</p><p>“You asked me if we were just friends. I said yes. And you wanted to say something. What was it?”</p><p>Her brows furrow. “It’s not important.”</p><p>“Well I think it is.” He counters. </p><p>She sighs as she turns her body towards his. “Shawn, it’s not, you said we were friends so you answered my question. Now can we go inside? I’m actually kind of hungry and I’d prefer to eat before heading home because-”</p><p>“We’re not<em> just </em>friends.”</p><p>She stops, staring at him. “We’re not?”</p><p>“No. I’m saying we’re friends, but I think you know there might be something more than that.”</p><p>Quinn frowns. “Shawn, we don’t-”</p><p>“I know I keep interrupting you but I’m only doing it because you and I both know you’re lying.”</p><p>He can tell the proverbial ball has dropped the minute he says it, tension officially gone and replaced with implied certainty that this is exactly what they both think it is.</p><p>“Shawn we can’t.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Maybe because you have Maddie? And I have Adrian?”</p><p>“So?” He says, shrugging. “We’re not in relationships with them.”</p><p>“No, but we both have exes who are suddenly resurfacing in our lives, with insistence, I might add, and we’re also co-workers. And recently roommates.” </p><p>“I’m still not seeing the problem.”</p><p>“You can’t just throw this shit at me like this.” She huffs, frustrated. “We haven’t…we’ve never even <em>talked</em> about this, and it’s bad timing and-”</p><p>He doesn’t think. He just reacts.</p><p>Shawn reaches across the console, wrapping one arm around her waist, his other hand reaching up to her face, tangling his fingers in the hair at the base of her neck and pulling her towards him, getting as close to her as he can when he kisses her. He feels suspended in time, his heart slamming against his ribcage when he feels her relax under him, her hands coming to the sides of his face as she kisses him back, and Shawn can feel the fireworks erupting in his body when she does. </p><p>He knows this kiss. He’s seen it in his dreams, felt his lips tingle when he wakes from them, has ached for it for <em>days</em> and it feels exactly the way he’s experienced it before. It is exactly what he has hoped it would be and more.</p><p>Loving. Urgent. Honest. A bit desperate. And so right.</p><p>And for Quinn, it’s the exact same.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We have to establish some ground rules, at the very least.”</p><p>Shawn nods, grabbing a french fry from her plate while taking a bite of his waffles. Quinn narrows her eyes, mostly because it’s the fifth fry he’s taken from her thus far, even though she insisted he order his own.</p><p>He will, when the waitress comes back, but it’s fun to watch her get riled up.</p><p>“That’s fine with me.” He says around his mouthful. “Whatever rules you want.”</p><p>As he suspected, the rest of the diner is full of elderly patrons and other adults, none of whom recognize Shawn, or care about who he’s here with. Which is perfect, because he’s already held her hand on the table top, and reached across the table to kiss her a couple of times. They’ve gotten a couple of “aws” and sweet looks from couples around them, but they’ve still managed to have complete anonymity. </p><p>“Well…I guess the first rule isn’t a rule, it’s more of a question.” He bites off a piece of his bacon, nodding at her to continue. She sighs. “I hate to ask it like this, but what does this mean for our current living situation? Are you hoping I’ll move in with you?”</p><p>He shrugs. “If I’m being completely honest, it would be ideal, yes, since the current arrangement has been working out really well. But I also know you love your apartment, and you value your own space and independence, so I wouldn’t ask you to do that if you weren’t ready.”</p><p>“Okay.” She says, taking a bite of a french fry. “Am I…am I your girlfriend, then?”</p><p>Shawn blushes. “I was kind of hoping we’d get there, yeah, but I know I’d have to ask you properly first.”</p><p>Quinn raises a brow. “You <em>want</em> to ask?”</p><p>“If that’s okay.” He says. “I’m a little old school that way. Obviously I’d like us to be exclusive until then, but because this was kind of sudden I definitely would like to ask you first before just assuming you’re on board.”</p><p>She looks at him thoughtfully, but then nods. “Then a follow up question - where is this supposed to go?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean, what’s the endgame here. Are we just taking this day by day or are you looking to get back to the altar anytime soon?”</p><p>Shawn is only slightly taken aback by her question. It’s a valid one, given both of their relationship histories, but he still ends up choking on a bite of waffles, and Quinn reaches across the table, rubbing his arm as he coughs.</p><p>After a quick sip of water, he nods, letting her know he’s okay. She frowns. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”</p><p>“No no,” he says. “It’s okay. I know what you meant. And honestly? I’m still looking to settle down. With you? That would also be ideal. But I understand we’ve got a ways to go before that happens.”</p><p>She purses her lips. “Then can I be honest with you too?” Shawn nods, and Quinn takes a deep breath. “I had a dream about you. The other night, when I fell asleep on the couch?”</p><p>Shawn’s eyes widen, not expecting this at all. “You did?”</p><p>She nods, eyes staring at her plate, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. “I did. It was short, and random, but I remember it.”</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“I had a dream that we were reading a book together in bed. In my room, at the townhouse. And we were getting ready to celebrate Christmas together, and I had a ring on my finger.”</p><p>His heart slams into his chest as the breath leaves his lungs in a small gasp. “Oh.”</p><p>“I know, it’s extremely embarrassing and strange and-”</p><p>“I dreamt we had kids.”</p><p>Now it’s Quinn’s turn to choke - she gasps, but ends up choking on air and coughing. Shawn hands her the glass of water on the table, and she takes it, a slight red tint to her bronze cheeks becoming visible.</p><p>When she’s composed herself, she stares at Shawn in disbelief. “You did? Kids? Plural?”</p><p>“Twins actually,” he says, taking another bite of bacon. “Twin boys. Identical. They looked like me, had our curly hair, but they both had your eyes. And you were pregnant with a third.”</p><p>“Holy shit.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he says, then glances at her nervously. “Is that…is that weird?”</p><p>She shakes her head. “When was this?”</p><p>“The same night. When we fell asleep on the couch.”</p><p>Shock crosses her features again, and she shakes her head, slightly dazed. “That’s…uncanny.”</p><p>“What’s even weirder is that I remember their names. And I’ve honestly never thought about naming my kids. Like, ever? Not even when it was a possibility that I’d have them with Maddie. I didn’t think about their names, but in my dream with you, they had names, and it just…makes sense.”</p><p>“What were their names?” </p><p>“Jamison and Oliver.” Shawn answers, their faces coming into his head. She nods thoughtfully, and Shawn becomes slightly cautious. “You haven’t…you haven’t thought about naming your kids that, right? Or using those names?”</p><p>Quinn shakes her head. “No, I can’t say I have. I also never really thought of what I would name my kids either, especially as a teacher.”</p><p>“You and Adrian didn’t…” His voice trails off, but Quinn understands his question, shaking her head.</p><p>“No. We didn’t. I don’t think we even had that conversation. We were engaged but we never brought up kids once. Which, I guess, looking back is weird. Since I loved kids, and I always wanted to be a teacher, and a mother, but I don’t think I ever told him those things.” She pauses, then looks up at Shawn. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve told anyone that I want to be a mom. At least, not that I can remember up until now.”</p><p>“Not even your family?”</p><p>She shakes her head, mortified. “Are you kidding me? I have a Filipino family. Mention one word about having kids before thirty five and all your aunties suddenly have something to say. They’ll ask if you have a boyfriend one day, and then the day you do suddenly it’s like you started a war.”</p><p>Shawn laughs. “Guess I’m not meeting your family any time soon then.”</p><p>“I’ll spare you from them for now, but you’ll have to get there eventually.”</p><p>“Will karaoke be involved?”</p><p>She looks confused, but remembers their conversation from the night of Max’s gallery opening, and smiles. “Probably, but you won’t be a participant.”</p><p>He feigns being wounded. “But I’m good at it!”</p><p>“Which is exactly why you can’t be a participant.” She takes a sip of her drink, then leans back in her seat, face suddenly somber. “I also think we should talk about your career.”</p><p>“What about it?” He asks. “Think I won’t make it far as a teacher?”</p><p>She laughs. “I meant your actual career, Shawn. As a musician. I’m not very good at being scrutinized publicly, and I’m not so sure I’m down for the fame and the flashing lights part of this.”</p><p>“Do I look like I’m in the spotlight right now?” He says, and Quinn knows he’s being sarcastic, so she rolls her eyes. </p><p>“No but you will be eventually. And I’m not exactly used to any of that, especially when it comes to the possibility of compromising my privacy.”</p><p>“There’s nothing you have to compromise.” He promises.</p><p>“But you and Maddie-”</p><p>“She was comfortable being in the spotlight because that’s what she knew. She’s a model. It’s part of her job. But you’re a teacher and that’s not part of yours. I wouldn’t ask you to do something you’re not comfortable with, Quinn.” He pauses. “Well, not from this point on anyway.” </p><p>“So when an award show or charity event or something rolls around…”</p><p>“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I mean would it be nice to have you as my date? Sure, because I’d love to show you off and let everyone know who I’m with, but if you don’t want to go or you’re uncomfortable with going I would never force you to.”</p><p>“What about paparazzi?”</p><p>Shawn scoffs. “What about them?”</p><p>“Don’t they stalk people? Stalk you?”</p><p>“Paparazzi don’t really care about me anymore these days.” He explains. “I’ve been pretty good at laying low, and when I need my privacy, I get it. In the past, they’d photograph me in the streets and whatever, but that’s all they’d get. A photo. And that photo got put out and people could make of it what they wanted to, but no one knew the real story except me. So if that happened to us, it would be the same. Besides, if someone was that invested all they’d get is that I volunteered at Littlewood and you also teach there. It also wouldn’t look good on them if they harassed a third grade teacher just to get a story about me.”</p><p>“They’ve harassed other celebrities and innocent people for less.” She points out.</p><p>Shawn frowns. “Okay, you have a point, but I promise. If you don’t want to be caught up in that side of me I’ll make sure you won’t be.”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“I’ll protect you. I know it seems like a blanket statement, but it’s the truth.”</p><p>“I’m just not familiar with all that. I know it comes with the territory, but…”</p><p>“But nothing.” Shawn says, wiping his hands before reaching for hers. “We’re gonna figure this out, Quinn. We’ve got plenty of time, you know.”</p><p>“Sorry.” She says. “It’s just kind of sudden, is all. And we hadn’t talked about it before, but-”</p><p>“Not everything has to be a syllabus with a planned curriculum, babe.” He says, testing the waters.</p><p>Quinn responds pretty well, nodding in understanding. “Alright. No, you’re right.”</p><p>“We take it day by day,” he offers. “We talk about what we want and how we feel, we communicate, and we figure it out together. Sounds good?” She nods again, and Shawn smiles. “Great, now, back to the rules. What were they going to be?” He asks, swiping another fry from her plate. </p><p>Quinn makes a noise in protest, narrowing her eyes at him. “Okay, first rule,” she says, pulling her plate closer to her. “You touch my fries without permission again, I break up with you.”</p><p>-</p><p>Shawn hasn’t seen Quinn in<em> days</em>.</p><p>And his entire body aches with the loss of her.</p><p>One kiss and one conversation and suddenly he’s back in the rabbit hole of love, his whole being <em>yearning</em> for a person he’ll see soon, but it feels like he’s going to have to wait eons.</p><p>They agreed they’d go home separately for Christmas break, and Shawn was fine with it. He figured they managed to discuss their feelings openly and agreed to take it day by day, so he assumed the casual tone to all of it wasn’t going to be an issue.</p><p>Except it was. It <em>is</em>. </p><p>He came home on the twenty second and was fine. His mom, dad, Aaliyah, her boyfriend, and him all sat down to family dinner together and he texted Quinn updates, sending her a goodnight text when he went to bed.</p><p>On Christmas Eve, Quinn texted him letting him know she was going to be spending the day with her dad’s family in Vancouver, and might not be as responsive. Some of his family was coming over for Christmas Eve dinner anyway, so he was fine with it.</p><p>Until four of his cousins showed up with their significant other and Shawn felt a little uncomfortable. It wasn’t until one of his aunts apologized to him, about his engagement not working out and not having “that special someone” during the holidays that set him off.</p><p>He became quiet, still engaging with family, but right after dessert he bid his goodbyes and headed upstairs to his room, shutting and locking the door behind him. He showered, went to bed, sending an “I miss you” text to Quinn before he fell asleep, his heart aching to be back in the townhouse with her.</p><p>When he woke up, there was an “I miss you too” text, along with a picture of Quinn sitting in front of her family’s Christmas tree. She’s smiling at the camera, donning her Christmas themed pajamas, and holding a small chocolate lab puppy in her arms. The photo’s captioned “Merry Christmas from me and Taz.”</p><p>Shawn feels his heart flip, zooming in to see Quinn’s face before saving the picture to his camera roll. He takes a picture of himself tangled in his blankets, head poking out with a smile on his face, sending it to Quinn with the caption “You named your dog after the Tasmanian Devil cartoon?”</p><p>Her reply comes seconds later. </p><p>
  <em>If you met him you’d agree</em>
</p><p>There’s that familiar ache, and he can’t help himself. <em>Do you have a second to talk? Or facetime?</em></p><p>The minutes the “yes” comes through in his replies, he calls her on FaceTime. When her smiling face shows up, he feels like he might explode. “Hi there.” He says, voice rough from sleep.</p><p>Quinn smiles. “Good morning to you too.”</p><p>“Merry Christmas baby.”</p><p>“Merry Christmas to you too, bubba. Any big plans today?”</p><p>He smiles at the pet name, recalling his dream. “Rest of the family’s coming over later this afternoon. We’re just going to open presents before they get here. Then tomorrow’s obviously going to be crazy with Boxing Day. What about you?”</p><p>“Pretty much the same.” She says, reaching for something off camera. “My mom and I already opened presents and we’re just finishing cooking for when everyone comes over today. Tomorrow is just more cooking, honestly.”</p><p>“Karaoke?”</p><p>“Not on the cards for you.” She teases. “I don’t know. It’s set up in the basement but who knows if they’ll even make it down there. Usually everyone’s drunk before that happens.”</p><p>He laughs. “Can’t wait to see that someday.”</p><p>“Speaking of,” she begins. “Have you told your family about us? Or any of your friends?”</p><p>He sits up in bed, his blankets falling to his waist. Quinn very deliberately doesn’t stare at his torso. “I haven’t yet, no. Have you?”</p><p>She shakes her head. “I was thinking of telling my mom? Mostly because she’s been noticing I’m on my phone a lot.”</p><p>He nods. “I’m okay with that, you can tell who you want to.”</p><p>“You can too, you know.” She says. “I know what I said about privacy but I don’t think family and friends count.”</p><p>“I’ll probably tell my sister first,” He says. “Then my parents. My manager kind of knew I liked you, but I didn’t tell him we ended up talking about it.”</p><p>“Is it going to be an issue?”</p><p>Shawn shakes his head. “No. Andrew’s fine, it won’t be a big deal. Are you uh…are you going to tell Max?”</p><p>Quinn pauses, pushing her curls out of her face. “I don’t know. Probably not right now. I’ll tell him eventually, when the timing is right.”</p><p>“When Adrian is out of the picture.”</p><p>She nods. “Pretty much.”</p><p>The longer he looks at her the more he misses her. He’s not sure if he can wait until after break is over to see her. “Does your family have any solid plans for New Years?”</p><p>She shakes her head, then raises a brow. “No. Why, you got something in mind?”</p><p>He shrugs. “Maybe. I know a nice private cabin up north we can go to, celebrate on our own. Or if you’re more of a party person, I’m sure I could find a party for us to go to.”</p><p>“A cabin sounds nice.”</p><p>Shawn smiles. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”</p><p>“Probably with family, but I’m sure I can dip out.”</p><p>“Great.” He says. “Pack your stuff and I’ll pick you up at seven.”</p><p>Her eyes widen a little, but she flashes him a wide smile. “Are you asking me on a date?”</p><p>“Maybe.” He says. “We’ll see how it goes when we get to the cabin.”</p><p>“I can’t wait.”</p><p>“Neither can I.” Shawn says, taking a screenshot of her, happy about the fact she can’t stop smiling. “I miss you, more than I expected.”</p><p>“I miss you too, Shawn.” There’s a noise and some shuffling on her side, and she looks back at him. “I gotta go, okay? Gotta help my mom, but I’ll text you, okay?”</p><p>“Alright.” He blows her a kiss, and she laughs, but plays along and catches it anyway. “Bye bubba.”</p><p>When they hang up, he feels significantly better than he has in days.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>did someone say...smut?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Quinn finds herself in awe of the snowy landscape surrounding the cabin. </p><p>It’s nothing large or ostentatious like she sort of expected, but almost like a normal home. It has three bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, an open floor plan that loops the kitchen, dining room and living room into a big space, and large windows and a sliding glass door in the living room area that leads out to a huge deck. </p><p>The deck itself houses a hot tub for now, something she made note of when they arrived as he turned it on and placed the top on to keep it from being exposed to the elements. Shawn said the rest of the furniture on the deck and yard below it had been put in the cabin’s shed out back for safe storage due to the winter weather.</p><p>Before they left Toronto they picked up some emergency kits and things from Bass Pro Shops, and on the way up they stopped for groceries at a local supermarket, making sure they’d be fully stocked for the eight day trip Shawn had planned. He’d reserved the cabin from the twenty sixth to January 2nd, and Littlewood was set to be back in session on the 5th, which gave them plenty of time to rest and relax before starting up again.</p><p>Quinn had spent the first hour they arrived unpacking her clothing and the groceries they’d purchased, storing their emergency kits in the hallway closet. Shawn went about cleaning the cabin, making sure they had freshly washed bedding and dishes to use, and also grabbed some wood from the shed for the large fireplace in the living area.</p><p>The cabin itself sits on a lake, and Quinn desperately wishes it was summer instead, because she doesn’t know how she’ll be able to leave this place after eight days. It’s beautiful, and the sun is out, reflecting bright lights off of the icy surface of the lake and the freshly fallen snow. It’s how she finds herself sitting on one of the recliners between the fireplace and the window, a mug of tea in her hand. </p><p>Shawn’s in the front of the cabin, making sure the Jeep is locked up and the driveway is void of snow. He’s been using the time shoveling the driveway and stone path to the cabin to think, psyching himself up for the next eight days with Quinn. The surrounding forest is quiet, and thankfully the lake is mostly calm, only a few people skating, ice fishing, or playing pond hockey several houses down. </p><p>He’s happy to be here with Quinn, happy she agreed to come. The cabin idea mostly came from the dream he had, wanting to be somewhere alone where they could just spend time with one another and not have to worry about the rest of their lives impeding on them every five minutes. </p><p>He doesn’t know what will come of this trip - doesn’t really have anything in his head. There’s plenty of outdoor things they can do - there’s a lodge not too far from where they are and they can go ice skating on the lake, and can utilize the hot tub - but there’s also a few things they could do indoors too. </p><p>Although, Shawn’s not too sure on <em>one</em> of those indoor activities.</p><p>He hasn’t been intimate with anyone since Maddie. And from what he knows, it’s been the same for Quinn. He’s also slightly ashamed to say he did bring condoms on the trip, just in case, and he hopes Quinn doesn’t judge him for it. It’s not like he’s banking on it or anything, but he wants to be prepared for any case scenario. </p><p>By the time he’s done outside, he’s sweating and in desperate need of a shower, and so he heads into the cabin to shower and get changed into something more comfortable. He spots Quinn sitting on one of the recliners near the window and smiles, padding into their room for the trip to shower and change. Once he’s done, he changes into new sweatpants and a hoodie, putting his socks on as he pads into the hall, shaking out his wet curls.</p><p>She’s still in her same spot, and Shawn smiles when he approaches, taking her hand to pull her up before he sits in her spot and pulls her back down into his lap. She curls up easily, smiling as she offers him a sip of her still warm tea. </p><p>“How’s the view?” He murmurs, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.</p><p>“It’s beautiful out here.” She says. “Right out of a fairytale, almost.”</p><p>“Glad you think so.” He takes a look at the view himself, tightening his grip around Quinn. At the same time, both of their eyes land on the hot tub, and they take a quick look at each other.</p><p>She smiles at him bashfully. “I know you just showered, but are you interested in a little dip?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t mind it.”</p><p>They both get up and head into the bedroom, Quinn going to the bathroom to change into her bathing suit while Shawn changes into his trunks in the bedroom. Quinn knocks once on the door to let him know she’s done, and he knocks back once he’s finished tying off his trunks. </p><p>They head out to the deck and Shawn quickly removes the top, putting it aside so they can climb in. Quinn lets out a happy sigh once she’s seated. “Aren’t you getting in?”</p><p>Shawn smiles. “I am, but I just thought of something. I’ll be right back.”</p><p>He heads back inside and Quinn shrugs to herself, leaning her head back against the edge of the tub and closing her eyes. She hears some movement from inside the cabin, and a few minutes later, she hears soft music playing. </p><p>She opens her eyes to find Shawn coming out with a speaker in one hand, a bottle of champagne tucked under his arm, and two champagne glasses in his other hand. He places the speaker and his phone on the little table on the other side of the hot tub, placing the glasses on the edge and opening the bottle to pour them both a glass.</p><p>Quinn can’t help but smile. “This is all extremely romantic.”</p><p>Shawn shrugs. “What can I say? You write enough songs about love, you eventually learn a thing or two.”</p><p>He climbs in alongside her, reaching to pull her into his lap as she grabs their glasses. She smiles, and they toast, Shawn turning them so they can look at the lake. </p><p>He presses a kiss to her cheek as she drinks, resting his head on her shoulder. “I could get used to this.”</p><p>She nods. “I could too. It’s so quiet, out here, peaceful.”</p><p>“And isolated.” He adds, taking a swig of his glass.</p><p>She snorts, giving him a funny look. “Alright, creeper.”</p><p>“I just meant it’s nice for us to have privacy, is all.” He says, and Quinn rolls her eyes, placing her free hand on his face before leaning in for a soft kiss.</p><p>It’s the first kiss she’s initiated with him, and Shawn accepts it wholeheartedly, body going lax under hers as she shifts in his lap.</p><p>When she pulls away, Shawn finds himself instinctively reaching back out for more, attaching his lips back to hers before she gets too far away. He moves her as he goes, helping to adjust so she’s straddling his waist while he rests against the side of the hot tube. He places his glass back on the edge, and she follows suit, her other hand coming to rest on his shoulder.</p><p>Shawn’s hands wind around her waist and his lips part slightly, tongue teasing at the seam of her lips. She invites him in, pressing herself closer against him and grinding her hips down.</p><p>They both moan, and Quinn’s heart hammers in her chest, beating wildly as adrenaline seeps through her veins. Shawn’s grip on her is sure and strong, overcome with the sudden need to have her closer.</p><p>Earlier, both of them were nervous for this moment, unsure if it would come naturally or if it would be a long, drawn out moment, like the beginning of them was. Quinn hadn’t kissed anyone since Adrian, hadn’t even been on dates or randomly hooked up with anyone.</p><p>Shawn was her first kiss in <em>years</em>, and with him it was like finally getting that picture perfect movie kiss you could dream of. When he kissed her for the first time in the car, so spontaneously and determined, she felt like she was floating. When he kissed her goodbye before Christmas, she felt like she could see the mistletoe growing above their heads like in Harry Potter. </p><p>And now, kissing him in a hot tub at a snowy cabin in the middle of nowhere - she felt like a live wire, like she was in her own little world and nothing could break this moment. </p><p>All the nervousness he felt earlier is gone, eased out by Quinn’s gentle hands and eager lips, and he feels completely consumed by her.</p><p>They part for a moment, taking a breath, and Shawn’s eyes search her face. He can see her excitement, but he still wants to be sure. So <em>she</em> knows.</p><p>“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He says. “If you’re not ready, that’s fine with me. I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>“I want to.” She insists. “Eventually, I do. I just…”</p><p>“It’s okay.” He promises. “I won’t try to convince you. I won’t rush you or rush anything. We said day by day, right?” When she nods, he playfully nips her lip. “Then that’s what we’re sticking to.”</p><p>“Making out is okay though.” She says, voice dripping with desire. Shawn smirks, obliging as he leans in again.</p><p>-</p><p>The cabin trip passes in a blissful blur.</p><p>After their intimate moment in the hot tub, Shawn and Quinn fell into a routine. They make breakfast, lunch, and dinner together in the kitchen, eating together by the fireplace. They go out on the frozen lake a few times to skate, and Shawn finds old hockey sticks and a puck in the garage of the cabin, using it to teach her a little about hockey. Other times, they walk through the forest surrounding the cabin, enjoying nature and heading back for hot chocolate once their noses and cheeks start to freeze. </p><p>On New Years Eve, they turn on the TV in the living room for the first time they’re there, watching New Years Rockin’ Eve, and when the clock hits midnight, they watch the fireworks on the lake from the deck, Shawn swooping her into a dazzling kiss.</p><p>Another day, Shawn has to go out to get more firewood, and Quinn watches from the front porch with a bashful smile, wrapped in a blanket and a mug of hot tea in her hands, as Shawn lugs the wood into the cabin, red and black flannel and all.</p><p>They also talk. A lot.</p><p>They share stories of their childhood, of their families, about anything and everything in between. Shawn shares stories from tour and his career over the years, and Quinn talks about her path to wanting to teach.</p><p>They also get into the nitty gritty of their former relationships. </p><p>Shawn divulges about Maddie first. Everything from when they met to the day she left him at the altar. Quinn talks about Adrian, about how everything was set in stone until it wasn’t. Admittedly they both cry a little bit, but the conversation turns into the things they want out of new relationships, and their hopes for the relationship that goes right for both of them.</p><p>Opening up to one another makes them closer, and there’s that unspoken, underlying truth that the relationship they hope for, that perfect, ideal happy ending, is with the other person.</p><p>Shawn can feel himself falling for Quinn with each passing minute. The more Quinn opens up to Shawn, the more she can feel herself being willing to love again - to tear down the walls she spent years building up, just to let Shawn in that much more.</p><p>In between their conversations, they also make use of the hot tub, the couch, and their bed for steamy make out sessions, and on their second to last night, it progresses just that much further.</p><p>They’ve showered and changed into their PJs, ready for bed, but they’ve been kissing for what feels like hours when the room gets warm, and Shawn removes the sweater he’s wearing, leaving him in an undershirt and his sweatpants. When his shirt creeps up, Quinn pushes it up and demands it off, and Shawn obliges, taking it off and throwing it across the room.</p><p>With his torso bare, Quinn smiles a little, turning him so his back is propped up against the pillows and headboard, straddling his lap.</p><p>Shawn can feel the flush rise in his face. “You see something you like?”</p><p>“A little bit.” Quinn says, “Can I?”</p><p>Shawn nods, crossing his arms behind his head, giving her full reign. At first, she kisses him, leaning down and letting her curls fall in a curtain around them. Shawn frees up one of his hands, cupping her face and pulling her closer. Her hands fall from where they rest on his shoulders, trailing down as she pulls away, running her hands along his skin. His hand drops to rest on her thigh, observing her as she goes.</p><p>He feels goosebumps rise in the path her hands take, running along his torso and his sides, exploring. She lets out a small giggle as her fingers trail the waistband of his sweats, tracing over the “Calvin Klein” logo on his exposed briefs.</p><p>Quinn looks up at him, questions etched all over her face and Shawn nods, answering yes to any and all of them. “Whenever you’re ready.” He says.</p><p>She smirks. “Are you quoting your own song at me?”</p><p>He narrows his eyes, scoffing. “I meant it more along the lines of the Natalie Taylor song but sure, I guess both apply.”</p><p>She shrugs, eyes casting back down at his waist. There’s a question on her tongue, but instead of asking, she reaches for the hem of her own sweater and tugs it off, leaving her in a light blue bralette and her sleep shorts.</p><p>Shawn’s mouth nearly waters at the sight of her, wanting to touch all over but he keeps his hands at his sides, continuing to watch her.</p><p>Quinn kisses him again, distracting him and also hyping herself up. Her hands curl into the waistband of his sweats, tugging on them a little, and Shawn gasps against her mouth.</p><p>“You want them off?” He mumbles, and Quinn nods, backing up so he can shed them off, leaving him in his briefs, and she sheds her shorts. Shawn smiles when he finds she’s wearing a matching lace set. “This for me?” He wonders, thumb tracing the lace on her hip.</p><p>She blushes. “Not intentionally.”</p><p>“Well I appreciate it either way.” He says, leaning up to capture her lips, pulling her back against him. </p><p>Her hands continue to roam over his body as she sits on his thighs, eventually finding their way back to his waistband, fingers dipping below the fabric. </p><p>His cock is half hard, but getting harder the more she kisses him, and when her fingers wrap around it, Shawn moans, gasping into her mouth when she tightens her grip, her other hand pulling his briefs down low enough to free him, adjusting so he’s comfortable. </p><p>“I haven’t done this in awhile,” she says lowly, allowing his lips to still leave kisses on her chin as she speaks. “You’ll have to tell me what you like.”</p><p>“I love this.” He says, trailing kisses down to her neck. “This is great.”</p><p>Quinn smiles, returning her lips to his as she begins to stroke him, her other hand reaching lower to cup his balls, giving them a gentle squeeze as she rubs them in her hands. Shawn backs up to rest his back against the headboard, allowing him to still kiss her as she continues her movements.</p><p>His breathing gets heavier as her hands work, and Shawn finds himself bucking his hips up into her hands, wanting more, <em>needing</em> more of what she’s giving him. He hears her laugh a little at his eagerness, bending her head to kiss his neck, sucking little bruises into his skin. </p><p>“Please don’t stop.” He begs, keening out when her hands grip a little tighter, twisting as she moves her hands up and down his cock, still massaging his balls in her other hand. </p><p>“I wouldn’t dream of it.” She promises, and he turns his head, hands reaching for her face so he can keep kissing her, so he can ground himself in this moment with her. </p><p>She keeps going, her grip solid and sure as Shawn opens up underneath her, his free hand securing itself on her waist. He doesn’t realize it, but he has her moving, clothed core now riding against one of his thighs. He can feel her wetness through the lace, and he moves, using both hands to rip at the fabric on her hip, pulling her up to tear it away.</p><p>He maneuvers her to sit up a little bit above him, her face hovering over his as she continues to stroke him, his hand moving between her legs to test her arousal.</p><p>Quinn moans softly, forehead resting against his, the two of them watching each other through hazy eyes. She tightens her grip a little more and Shawn can feel himself starting to lose it, bucking into her hands and he continues to run his finger through her folds.</p><p>“Quinn, baby, I-”</p><p>“It’s okay, Shawn.” She says. “Come for me. Wanna see you.”</p><p>His eyes shut tight, head tilting back and gasping when her lips latch onto the sensitive spot on his neck, vision going white behind his eyes as he feels himself come, getting it all over Quinn’s hand and his abdomen.</p><p>He can hear both of their heavy breathing as he calms down, but he can feel Quinn’s skin burning from where she rests against him, and can feel her dripping onto his thigh, so he starts to move. </p><p>Gently, he maneuvers her so she’s lying flat on her back, stunned when he sees her licking him clean from her fingers as she watches him.</p><p>“You’re gonna kill me, aren’t you?” He murmurs, shuffling down the bed to rest between her legs. Her head lolls to the side, observing as he props her legs up, knees bent, leaving kisses down each of her thighs before placing a kiss on her pelvis, kissing lower, and lower, until he kisses her clit.</p><p>Quinn jumps, letting out a small noise, and Shawn stops his movements, searching for her eyes. “Do you want me to stop?”</p><p>“No,” she says, shaking her head. “I just…it’s sensitive, is all.”</p><p>He nods, but crawls up her body, kissing her softly. “You tell me if it’s too much, okay? If you want me to stop, I’ll stop.”</p><p>She nods in understanding, kissing him in thanks. He smiles at her before scooting down the bed, settling between her legs again. This time, he kisses her slowly, and Quinn sighs happily, eyes shutting as her hands tangle in his curls, and Shawn hums, parting her folds with his tongue and licking gently, tasting her wetness.</p><p>Quinn moans softly, trying to be quiet, and Shawn smiles. “Let me hear you baby.” He urges. “It’s just us, you don’t have to hold it in.”</p><p>When Quinn nods, he dives in, licking her noisily, sucking and slurping sounds coming from his mouth and filling the room, driving Quinn insane. He rests his hands on the underside of her thighs, keeping her legs parted and pussy open to him. Quinn throws an arm over her mouth, biting down, crying out when Shawn’s tongue dips inside of her. </p><p>He can feel himself getting harder as he listens to her, and Shawn keeps going, lips and tongue working to bring her to an orgasm. Quinn opens her eyes and lowers her arms, tangling her hand in his curls as she watches in amazement at how he grinds against the bed, seeking friction against his lower half.</p><p>“Shawn-” She gaps, Shawn, sucking her clit into his mouth, and she starts grinding herself against his face. It eggs him on, burying his face into her and pushing her legs up, exposing her and giving him more access. Quinn lets out a long moan, unable to contain it when Shawn slips a finger inside of her, keeping his mouth on her clit and circling his tongue around it.</p><p>He pulls back only for a small second, slipping another finger inside of her and watching as her back arches off the bed. “Do you want me to fuck you?” He asks, “Or do you want me to keep going?”</p><p>“Keep going.” She pleads. “Please keep going.”</p><p>Another cry leaves Quinn as Shawn slips in another finger, moving them at a fast pace. He can feel her body shake when he brings his lips back to her clit, tongue lapping at it eagerly. She cries out again, grinding her hips down, and Shawn can feel her begin to tighten around him.</p><p>“Let go for me,” he begs.</p><p>Little breathy moans escape her now as Shawn continues to make her climb higher, the pressure building and building in her stomach, ready to burst at any second. There’s a moment where Quinn loses her breath as her orgasm finally washes over, back arching off the bed as Shawn’s hands grip at her skin, keeping her close to him, allowing him to taste all of her on his tongue.</p><p>He presses gentle kisses to her skin as she comes down, smiling at her when she rests against the bed again. </p><p>Shawn removes his fingers gently, sucking them into his mouth with a moan, and Quinn watches him through hazy eyes as he lies down next to her.</p><p>“Do you want me to?” She asks, gesturing to his dick, and he shakes his head.</p><p>“No, I’ll be alright.” He said. “One was amazing as it is.”</p><p>Quinn’s out of breath when she nods, and laughs in delirium. “I guess this makes you my boyfriend then, huh?”</p><p>Shawn beams, brushing the sweaty curls away from his face as he smiles. That’s the first time she’s actually said it out loud. “Yeah? I’m your boyfriend?”</p><p>“If you want to be, sure.” She says. “I’d like to be your girlfriend.”</p><p>“Would you still be saying that if I didn’t just give you an orgasm?”</p><p>Quinn laughs, bright and sweet. “I believe so, yes.” </p><p>He can’t help the burst of yellow happiness that swells inside of him, and he tackles her, pressing kisses all over her face. </p><p>It’s settled then. They’re together. Officially. Exclusively. All in.</p><p>Shawn feels confident, more than he has in awhile, knowing they’re going back to their lives in just a couple of days with Quinn by his side.</p><p>-</p><p>Quinn sighs when her last student leaves for the day, leaning her head back against her chair with a bright smile. She always loved coming back from Christmas break. Her students were tired earlier in the morning, not ready to come back to school, but toward the afternoon they were full of energy, bouncing off the walls and saying things that just made Quinn laugh.</p><p>She shuts her eyes and takes a few relaxing breaths, feeling her body already starting to loosen up. After a few moments, she opens her eyes, fully expecting Shawn to be in her doorway and ready to go like usual, except, he’s not there.</p><p>Brows furrowed, she checks the time on her Apple watch, knowing full well Shawn doesn’t have any students, and starts to pack up her things and close out her classroom. </p><p>When she gets to Shawn’s class and opens the door, she’s confused to find him not sitting at his desk, until she spots him on his hands and knees on the many rugs, cleaning up what looks like-</p><p>“Is that rice and beans?”</p><p>Shawn jumps, not knowing she was there, throwing a hand over his heart and he sits on his butt. “A little warning would be nice, bubba.”</p><p>Quinn giggles. “Sorry. I just-” she steps closer, toeing off her shoes before stepping onto the carpet. “What is all this? Why is there uncooked rice and beans all over the floor?”</p><p>Shawn flushes red, turning back to the carpet and scratching at it so more rice pops up from inside the threads. “I thought I’d do something fun for the younger kids, and incorporate sensory play, so I had them make their own little instruments and stuff. Like maracas and shakers out of easter eggs and toilet paper tubes.”</p><p>“And where on earth did you find the instructions for that?” She asks, taking a seat beside him.</p><p>“I may have taken your advice and looked at a few pinterest boards.” When Quinn laughs, Shawn groans, shaking his head. “No, no, don’t even start. I was trying to be nice and I underestimated their ability to not get this stuff all in the carpets and now this is my punishment.”</p><p>“Aw bubba,” she says, picking up a few beans near her and placing them in his hand. “I wish you would’ve told me, or told someone. Usually arts and crafts like this are supposed to be done in the art room.”</p><p>Shawn’s eyes go wide and he whines. “Art room?!”</p><p>Quinn can’t help but laugh, placing her hands on either side of his face. “Art room, honey. It’s in the binder.”</p><p>He frowns. “Stupid binder.” Quinn knows he’s only kidding, and he turns his head in her hands to kiss both her palms before taking her hands in his. “I’m sorry. I know we were supposed to go to your place to pick up more clothes for you before our dinner plans but I really want to clean this up so I’m not cleaning rice and beans out of the carpets for the next week.”</p><p>“It’s fine, Shawn.” She says. “You clean up here, and I’ll go to my apartment and grab my things, and then I’ll just meet you at your apartment building after to help you get stuff. Then, we can go to the grocery store as planned and head home to the townhouse, okay?”</p><p>Shawn smirks teasingly. “That’s the richest thing you’ve ever said.”</p><p>Quinn rolls her eyes. “It’s your fault for having a downtown highrise <em>and</em> a three story townhouse.”</p><p>“Well maybe when we move in together eventually that won’t be a problem.” He says, kissing her on the forehead, nose, and then her lips. “But that sounds like a plan. Is there a vacuum cleaner in the building?”</p><p>Quinn rolls her eyes, but nods, standing up and helping him stand. “It’s in the janitor’s closet in the front office. I’m heading out the side door since I parked there, but do you think you can find it on your own?”</p><p>Shawn nods, bending down to kiss her again. “I’ll manage. You go, I’ll meet you at my apartment. You have the key, right?”</p><p>“I have a copy of all your keys since you gave them to me, yes Shawn.” She says, shaking her head. She blows a kiss over her shoulder as she walks away, and Shawn smirks, waving right back.</p><p>He sighs when she’s gone, his socked feet feeling dry rice and beans beneath him, and he cringes, dusting them off once he reaches the tiled floor before putting his boots on and heading toward the front office.</p><p>When he enters the office, he finds Mrs. Goldman at the front desk, a worried look on her face and walkie in her hand. Shawn’s face hardens immediately, assuming something is wrong.</p><p>“What’s going on, Mel?” He asks, rushing to the desk. “Is everything okay? Do you need help?”</p><p>Her face softens, but there’s still worry etched on her features. She comes around the desk, lowering her voice. “Is Quinn still here?”</p><p>Shawn shakes his head. “No, she left a few minutes ago. Why?”</p><p>Mrs. Goldman nods. “There’s someone here to see you. She’s waiting in my office.”</p><p>“She?” Shawn asks. Mrs. Goldman doesn’t say anymore, gesturing to her shut office door. He frowns, but goes, opening the door and stopping dead in his tracks when he sees who’s sitting in there.</p><p>“Maddie?”</p><p>She turns with a bright smile, a smile Shawn can only interpret as suspicious, and stands. “Hi, I was wondering if we could talk?”</p><p>-</p><p>Quinn arrives at her apartment complex with no trouble, a smile wide on her face in anticipation of tonight. </p><p>Since they got back from the cabin trip a few days ago, she’s been on cloud nine, absolutely loving the way things have been progressing with him. </p><p>They made plans to gather more things so she could stay at the townhouse a little longer, and then they were going to make dinner together, Shawn wanting to continue their pattern from the cabin trip. It was something Quinn thought was sweet, the way Shawn insisted on it becoming part of their new normal, and was excited to start the first night of a new tradition. </p><p>As she approaches her apartment, she sees a figure sitting in the hallway, leaning against her door. At first, she assumes it’s Cody, her next door neighbor locked out again, but as she gets closer, she can tell right away it’s not him.</p><p>The figure looks up at her when she gets about five feet away, and at his face, Quinn’s heart drops, her feet frozen to their spot, staring at him in disbelief.</p><p>“Adrian?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
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    <p>“What the hell do you want?” Shawn demands, the office door shutting behind him.</p>
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    <p>Maddie winces at his voice. “I just wanted to talk.”</p>
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    <p>Shawn scoffs. “Oh, so now you want to talk?”</p>
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  <p>“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you, but-”</p>
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  <p>“I haven’t been answering.” He finishes for her. “There’s a reason for that, you know. I’m not exactly keen on talking to the woman who left me at the altar on what should have been the happiest day of our lives.”</p>
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  <p>She frowns. “I deserve that.”</p>
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  <p>“That’s not half of what you deserve.” He spits, face hardening when she stands from her seat. </p>
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  <p>“You don’t mean that.”</p>
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  <p>“I mean it and more, Madison.” He says. When he uses her full name, her frown deepens.</p>
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  <p>“I deserve that too.” She says. “But I did come here to talk to you.”</p>
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  <p>“About what? What could you possibly have to say to me after all this time?”</p>
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  <p>“I wanted to apologize.” She explains. “And I wanted to give you an explanation.”</p>
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  <p>Shawn fumes, his blood boiling in disgust. “Oh? Now you think I want an explanation? You think months after everything that I suddenly want an explanation? I don’t need one, Madison! You cheated on me with him and left me for him, what else is there to explain? I don’t need a why, and I don’t need any other details, and I frankly don’t care why you’re back in town. Does it bother me that you keep popping up in my life? Yeah, a lot. Because I was doing just fine without you in it!”</p>
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  <p>“You call getting into a car accident, drinking yourself into a stupor, and getting community service instead of jail time ‘doing just fine?’” She spits. “Because if so then yeah, you were peachy keen.”</p>
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  <p>His eyes narrow. “How do you know about that? Any of that?” He demands. “Not the accident. But the rest. How did you know?”</p>
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  <p>“People tell me things, Shawn.” She says, frowning. “They’re worried about you, so they confide in me.”</p>
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  <p>“Oh bullshit!” He exclaims, taking a step away from her when she tries to reach out to him. “Who is it? Huh? Which one of your little friends did you plant on my team?”</p>
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  <p>“She’s not a plant!” Maddie shouts, but then covers her mouth instantly. Shawn scoffs, knowing exactly who Maddie is referring to.</p>
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  <p>Taylor. She’s someone new to Shawn’s team, and she’s the liaison between him and his PR team. Taylor and Maddie were pretty cordial back then, and Shawn’s not sure how he missed that.</p>
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  <p>Then again, he was pretty blinded by love, so he’s not exactly surprised.</p>
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  <p>“Figures.” He mutters. </p>
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  <p>“Shawn, I honestly just want to talk.” Maddie repeats. “I want to work things out between us.”</p>
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  <p>“So what? So I can take you back?”</p>
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  <p>“No! Because I want us to be friends!”</p>
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  <p>“I don’t want to be your friend, Maddie. I wanted to be your husband.” He says, feeling exhausted. “I was already your friend, one of your best friends, and then you left me at the altar for another guy you hadn’t seen or spoken to in years. So now, I don’t want to be anything to you.”</p>
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  <p>There’s anger in her face. “So what? You can either be my husband or not? Is that how this works?”</p>
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  <p>Shawn shakes his head. “That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is, I know you want a chance for me to be in your life, but I don’t want that chance. What I want is to be rid of you, for good. I want you to stop popping up, stop showing up at my job, stop showing up where I don’t want you to be, and leave me alone.”</p>
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  <p>“Shawn, I-”</p>
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  <p>“You made your choice, Maddie.” He says. “You were the one who left me. You made your choice and walked out and you seemed pretty content with it then, leaving without so much as an apology.”</p>
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  <p>“I’m trying to apologize now!”</p>
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  <p>“Yeah!” He exclaims. “When it’s too late! And you’re only apologizing because you /want/ something, Maddie. That’s how you are. You’re not actually sorry, you don’t actually care. And you know what? There are some things you can’t fix with just an apology. It’s not good enough, and in your case, it will never be.” He walks toward the office door, and opens it, gesturing toward the doorway. “You want to make this right? Leave me alone, and move on with your life, because that’s what I’m doing with mine. I don’t <em>need</em> your apology, Madison. I <em>need</em> you to move on, and leave me alone. ”</p>
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  <p>She frowns, mouth agape and ready to respond, but she doesn’t. Instead, she gets up and walks toward the door, stopping when she’s in front of Shawn. </p>
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  <p>“I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me,” she says. </p>
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  <p>He looks at her, but says nothing, and she gets the message loud and clear, walking out of the office. He watches her walk out of the school, and the minute she’s out of sight, Shawn lets out a large sigh, one that ends with his breath coming out shakily. </p>
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  <p>The shaking turns into him quietly beginning to cry, all the frustration, anger, and resentment leaving his body after months of harboring them. Mrs. Goldman comes in then, and wraps her arms around him as he cries, tears running down his face.</p>
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  <p>“It’s okay, Shawn.” Melodie tells him. “It’s okay. You did the right thing.” He nods, and she rubs his back comfortingly. “You did what needed to be done.”</p>
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  <p>-</p>
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  <p>Adrian stands when he recognizes Quinn and dusts off his pants. He looks the same, just a little taller, more muscle on his body, and his hair a little longer than he used to keep it. </p>
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  <p>“Hi Quinn.” He says, smiling softly. It’s a smile Quinn remembers, one she saw after their first kiss, first time, after he cried happy tears when she agreed to marry him.</p>
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  <p>A smile she didn’t think she’d see ever again.</p>
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  <p>He’s either the biggest idiot in the world or he doesn’t see the sheer confusion in Quinn’s eyes at his presence. She’s not scared of him, just scared of what it means that he’s here.</p>
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  <p>“Adrian,” she repeats. “What are you doing here? Why are you in Toronto?”</p>
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  <p><em>Play dumb,</em> she thinks. <em>Deny, deny, deny.</em></p>
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  <p>“I’m on leave.” He explains, shrugging. “I came to visit Max, make amends for everything that happened back then. I figured while I was on that train I’d make amends with you too.”</p>
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  <p>Quinn shakes her head, taking a small step back. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, Adrian.”</p>
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  <p>He frowns, but nods. “I understand. I just...I figured that I’d at least try, you know?” His eyes are sincere when he says “You of all people deserve the biggest apology from me.”</p>
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  <p>Quinn notices him shiver slightly, and realizes his clothes are slightly wet, meaning he got caught in the snowfall from earlier that day, and has probably been sitting in the cold hallway of her building like this for hours. </p>
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  <p>Her gut instinct is telling her to send him away, get rid of him, but the human part of her sighs, pulling her keys out of her bag. He’s from <em>Temecula</em>, for goodness sakes. It’s no wonder he’s not dressed for a Canadian winter. </p>
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  <p>“I’m leaving in a few minutes,” she says, “but you can come in for a cup of coffee if you’d like, warm up a little.”</p>
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  <p>Adrian’s eyes widen in surprise, but he nods, stuffing his hands in his pockets and taking a step back to let Quinn open her door.</p>
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  <p>She’s nervous as he follows behind her, shutting the door and toeing off his shoes. He follows her to the kitchen, where he leans against the counter as she goes about making him a cup of coffee.</p>
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  <p>“How’ve you been?” He asks. </p>
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  <p>Quinn sighs, catching the time on her Apple Watch and knowing she has to go meet Shawn at his place soon. </p>
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  <p>She hands Adrian the mug of coffee, shrugging. “Been busy, mostly. But good. And you?”</p>
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  <p>“The same.” He says. “Max says you’re a teacher now?”</p>
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  <p>“I am. Third grade.” </p>
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  <p>“Nice.” He says. She notices his hands are shaking - a tell tale sign that he’s nervous - and she hates how she remembers even the smallest things about him. “They must adore you.”</p>
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  <p>“It changes from day to day.” She jokes, smiling softly. </p>
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  <p>Adrian watches as she smiles, then his face turns soft, and he frowns, putting his mug down on the counter. “Look, I uh...I wanted to come by to talk. I think I’ve beat around the bush on this long enough, but I wanted to come here to tell you that I’m sorry. That you deserve the most sincerest of all apologies and I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you sooner.”</p>
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  <p>Quinn nods, trying to school her shocked expression. He waits for her to butt in, to kick him out and tell him to get lost, but she says nothing, so he continues. “Back then...I wasn’t thinking. We were having issues, and she was just there, and it happened. But it only happened that one time, which I know isn’t saying anything because once is enough, but I wanted to let you know it wasn’t anything on going. I know back then, Max had suspicions she was sleeping around, but it wasn’t with me.”</p>
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  <p>He takes a deep breath, struggling to meet her eyes, but does so anyway, knowing she deserves the truth no matter how overdue. “That night...it wasn’t anything you did. And I know the whole ‘it’s not you it’s me’ thing is outdated and stupid, but I promise you Quinn, it wasn’t <em>you</em>. It was all me - nothing you did drove me to her. It was just me, me not thinking about you, me being upset at myself, me making a terrible mistake. And I’m sorry.” </p>
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  <p>“Adrian-”</p>
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  <p>“You didn’t deserve that, and you still don’t. I know it won’t change anything, and I promise this isn’t just to clear my conscience. I wanted to see you because I wanted to sincerely apologize and I want you to know you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and that you are amazing exactly as you are, and I never deserved you.”</p>
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  <p>There are no words that come to Quinn’s mind, nothing that she can think to say to him at this point. She never expected any of it, but then again, she also never expected to see him again.</p>
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  <p>Adrian takes a small step closer. “I’m not saying this to get you to come back to me, or to try to convince you to do anything, or even ask to be your friend. I just want you to know.” Quinn meets his eyes then, finally, and he breaks a little inside. “Max told me, when we were catching up, he told me what you went through. What <em>I</em> put you through. Quinn, I’m so sorry.”</p>
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  <p>He hugs her then, holding her close, and Quinn takes in a sharp breath. She blinks, vision blurry, and she doesn’t realize she’s crying until she sees the wet spot on his shirt. It takes a few moments, but when she hugs him back, he’s shaking a little, and the wet drop that lands on her cheeks tells her he’s crying too. </p>
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  <p>“It’s okay.” She says. The more she thinks about it, she has no reason not to move on from him. Granted, even Adrian knows forgiveness isn’t guaranteed, but she’s spent so long not wanting to be in this moment with him, that now that she is, she knows it’s in the past for both of them. </p>
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  <p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
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  <p>“It’s okay.” She repeats. They hug for a minute longer before she pulls back, and they both wipe their eyes, laughing at how they must look to the other person.</p>
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  <p>It’s then that she spots the ring on his finger, and she smiles. “You found someone new, then?”</p>
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  <p>He laughs, a light flush coming to his cheeks. “Yeah. Moved about as fast as we did.”</p>
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  <p>“Are you married yet?”</p>
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  <p>Adrian nods, smiling. “We got married this past summer. She actually was the one who encouraged me to come here and do this. I told her about what happened, she figured it would be a good way to get closure for us both.”</p>
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  <p>“She sounds like a smart woman.” </p>
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  <p>“She is.” Adrian says, smiling fondly at the thought of his wife. Quinn’s watch vibrates, and her phone lets off a text alert in her back pocket, and when he sees Quinn blush, he laughs. “I take it you found someone new, too, then?”</p>
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  <p>Quinn lowers her eyes, shooting off a text to Shawn before pocketing her phone. “It’s a uh...recent development.” </p>
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  <p>“Does Max know about this ‘recent development’ then?”</p>
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  <p>She shakes her head. “Not completely, but he’ll get the details when it’s time.”</p>
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  <p>“Does he make you happy? Does he treat you better than I did?”</p>
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  <p>Quinn nods, feeling no shame when she looks Adrian in the eyes and says, “Yeah, he does.”</p>
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  <p>Adrian nods. “I’m happy for you, Quinn. I’m happy that you’re happy.”</p>
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  <p>“Thank you.” She says, honestly.</p>
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  <p>And this time, when she says goodbye to Adrian, there’s no hurt, no worry that he’ll pop up, no concern.</p>
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  <p>Just peace.</p>
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  <p>-</p>
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  <p>Shawn is...shocked. To say the least. At first, as Quinn recounted the events, his blood boiled in his veins, but as she continued, he couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for Adrian, knowing he’d waited all this time to just give her the apology she deserved all along.</p>
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  <p>It also gets him to tell Quinn just exactly what happened at school after she left, and at that, Quinn was definitely upset. </p>
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  <p>Even though Mrs. Goldman all but banned Maddie from the premises for life, ordering security to memorize her face and keep her away from Littlewood at all costs, she wishes she could have been there to help Shawn out. </p>
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  <p>“I’m sorry.” She says. “About Maddie. And Adrian.”</p>
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  <p>Shawn shakes his head, reaching across the couch to pull her into his lap. “What’s there to be sorry about? I’d call this fate.”</p>
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  <p>Quinn raises a brow suspiciously. “You would?”</p>
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  <p>He nods. “It’s not like they both planned to come back into our lives on the same day, right when things are falling into place for us. And it’s not like you or I were ever prepared to face them ever again either. So I’d call it kismet.”</p>
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  <p>“Kismet.” Quinn says, then scoffs. Shawn huffs a little, nuzzling her neck. </p>
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  <p>“Are you trying to tell me you don’t feel relieved after talking to him?”</p>
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  <p>She pauses, then looks down at Shawn, who’s already watching her expectantly. “I do, yeah,” she says. “You feel relieved after talking to Maddie?”</p>
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  <p>He nods, pressing a kiss to the bare skin at the nape of her neck. “Definitely.” Quinn hums, and Shawn smirks. “See? Kismet.” </p>
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  <p>“Okay” she says, rolling her eyes. “Kismet it is. Kismet ruined our dinner plans.”</p>
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  <p>Shawn chuckles, smoothing her curls down. “It’s okay bubba, we can order delivery. I think we’ve earned it.”</p>
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  <p>He untangles himself from her on the couch and heads into the kitchen, ruffling through some of the take out menus.</p>
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  <p>Quinn quietly watches him from her spot on the couch, and smiles to herself.</p>
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  <p>Months ago she didn’t think she’d even be able to get along with Shawn, and now here she is, slowly moving in and dating him. </p>
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  <p>She’d been emotionally drained after meeting with Adrian, albeit in a good way, but the more she thought about what Adrian said, about how now that they’d spoken they could both move on from that chapter of their lives, she was right. </p>
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  <p>The same clearly happened for Shawn and Maddie. The entire reason she ended up at Littlewood was because of the way she and Adrian fell apart. And the reason she’d met Shawn was because of the cataclysmic way he and Maddie had fallen apart. </p>
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  <p>Two broken hearts, brought together in pain, but on the same day, somehow, miraculously, their hearts had been healed, closure found, and a clean slate presented itself for her and Shawn to start their relationship together in peace. </p>
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  <p>While she couldn’t say for sure she knew where it was going, Quinn was certain of one thing.</p>
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  <p>If this was kismet, she could get used to it.</p>
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  <p>-</p>
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  <p>Quinn dreams of Shawn again.  This time, when she dreams, it’s not so far out of reach or unfamiliar. They’re back at the cabin up north. It’s warmer out, the summer air creeping inside but it calms her down as she pads to the kitchen.</p>
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  <p>She reaches up for a glass from the cupboard when Shawn comes in, and smiles instantly, giggling when he bends down to scoop her up for a kiss, placing her on the kitchen counter so he can stand between her legs. </p>
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  <p>“Good morning bubba.” He breathes, peppering kisses all over her face. Quinn laughs, gently pushing him away. He goes easy, but keeps his hands in hers.</p>
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  <p>“Where’d you go?” She asks.</p>
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  <p>“Just to get gas for the trip home. Are you hungry?”</p>
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  <p>“Not hungry, just thirsty. I was gonna make a smoothie, if you want one.” </p>
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  <p>“I’ll make it honey, it’s okay.” He promises, kissing her on the forehead before turning to the cupboards.</p>
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  <p>Quinn frowns. “Shawn I can-”</p>
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  <p>“The doctor said you have to take it easy.” He reminds her, “You’re due any day now.”</p>
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  <p>She looks down at her swollen stomach, rubbing it out of habit. “Yeah but making a smoothie isn’t going to make my water break.”</p>
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  <p>“No,” he says, putting everything into the blender, “But it’ll mean you can rest and relax a little while longer, and I can dote on you for a little more.”</p>
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  <p>He presses start and goes about making them smoothies, pouring them into two glasses when he’s done. He hands her one, and she smiles, rubbing her belly. “Tell me again.”</p>
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  <p>Shawn chuckles, but obliges. “Jamison and Oliver. Jamie and Ollie. No middle names yet because we haven’t decided, but we’ll get there. They’re going to have both of our curls, and they’ll have your eyes, and they’re going to go to Littlewood, and get the best education their parents can give them.”</p>
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  <p>“And you’ll sing to them?”</p>
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  <p>He nods, pressing a cold kiss to Quinn’s nose. “I’ll sing to them everyday. And if and when I go back to the studio, or on tour, I’ll sing for them especially. And you, obviously.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She smiles, satisfied, and Shawn steps between her legs again, wrapping his arms around her as tight as he can without crushing her. “If I ask you to tell me again, would you?”</p>
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  <p>“I’d tell you over and over, bubba.”</p>
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  <p>-</p>
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  <p>When she wakes, it’s in the middle of the night, and Shawn’s got an arm around her middle, pulling her close to his chest. He smiles softly when she comes to.</p>
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  <p>“Watching me sleep?” She murmurs, and he snuffs, pulling her closer and adjusting the blankets.</p>
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  <p>“You look beautiful, so peaceful. I can’t help it. What were you dreaming about?”</p>
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  <p>“You.” She answers honestly. “Us. Babies.”</p>
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  <p>Shawn pauses, smiling. “Jamison and Oliver?”</p>
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  <p>She nods, lacing her fingers through his. “The very same.”</p>
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  <p>Shawn smiles. “We’ll meet them someday.”</p>
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  <p>“I know we will.” She says. “Get some rest, babe. School tomorrow.”</p>
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  <p>“I will.” He promises, peppering kisses all over her face until she erupts into sleepy giggles. “I just want to tell you something first.”</p>
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  <p>“Yeah?” She murmurs, “what’s that?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I love you.” He says. Shawn laughs as her eyes shoot open, and he leans in for a kiss, whispering it in the quiet of their room one more time for good measure.</p>
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  <p>“I love you too.” Quinn breathes between kisses, accepting each of them as they come. </p>
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  <p>Shawn’s heart swells, and he pulls her closer, shutting his eyes as his heart beats steadily in his chest. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It’s been an emotional few days for the both of them, and he’s extremely thankful it’s finally over. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>To think this all started with someone who left him alone on the altar. Someone who left him heartbroken and bruised that led him to Quinn, to the one person who peeled back the layers and saw Shawn. </p>
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  <p>Just Shawn, exactly as he was, exactly for who he has always been.</p>
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